SHE'S MINE → JASON MCCANN

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chapter twenty-two |
Y o u r p o v

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I was asleep but it felt different. I didn't feel restricted like usual nights; I felt comfortable. I stirred around in the bed, realizing that my hands weren't handcuffed to the frame. I felt a arms wrapped around my waist believing that it was Jax. I was dreaming.  I thought it was a regular Saturday morning; Jax spent the night and we were sleeping in. What if Jason simply un-cuffed me from the bed. I thought, slowly opening my eyes.

I felt heavy breathing beside me and I realized Jason was sleeping next to me.

I instantly woke up.

When did he get here? He looked so...peaceful when he was asleep, innocent almost. He didn't look like the person he portrayed to be. He looked like a normal.

As I sat there studying his exposed chest, I was able to admire his tattoos without feeling nervous about him noticing me. They intrigued me, I always wanted to get a closer look, knowing that that would be unlikely. "Jason?" I yawned, and he didn't move. It was terrible enough that I was held against my will—now he was invading my privacy; my space. The place where I could cry myself to sleep.

I leaned closer shoving him a little. He groaned out in annoyance, still not moving. I leaned my head close to his face, hoping that he would open his eyes—wondering what I was doing. Instead he used his hand to push my face away.

"What the hell?" I said, surprised. He let out a deep chuckle, making me completely aware that he was up and he was playing games.

I sighed.

"What?" He asked, peeping one eye at me.

"Who are you here?" I asked, while watching him.

"I wanted to cuddle with you." He said like it was the most obvious thing. His morning voice was raspy. It made me feel some kind of way.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I fucking love you, I thought I established that." He said coldly. Now he is wide awake. It was just a question.

He sighed shuffling off the bed. His hair was pointing in every direction and his shorts hung low at his waist.

"You know what sucks?" He asked while looking down at me. I looked up because I was curious as to what was making him upset.

"You're dreaming about him." He simply said. He looked genuinely sad. You could here the bitterness in his voice. I knew who he was talking about. I didn't know I said Jax's name while I was sleeping, "I can't help what I dream about." I said shortly.

"Why are You thinking about him?" He asked. What kind of question is that? I hated the look he was giving me. He looked vengeful, I can't upset him. I didn't know how far he'd go when angry. He seemed like he had no boundaries.

"Yes. I think about you killing him in front of my face." I said sarcastically.

"I told you not to fucking kiss him and you did." He spat.

"That justifies everything. I'm at fault." I scoff, rolling my eyes. I regretted being this bold.

My stomach started to churn as I thought of that night; the night he murdered someone in my arms. A man could be alive right now. Jax could've been alive but he's dead now, but is it genuinely because of me. I felt like a murderer even though I didn't pull the trigger.

"Did you love him?" He asked. Think wisely before you answer this question, I thought to myself. I looked up at his hurt eyes. Apart of me didn't want to lie to him, but I was afraid of the outcome from the truth. Is it worth it?

Jax and I have been together for about three years, of course I loved him. If I said no, I'd be lying. "Yes." I said softly. His eyes looked pained, they looked emotionally drained. He walked out the door, slamming it in the process.

What've I done?

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