♤ [1] An Everlasting Death - The Vampire Diaries

ı 10 ı Detective Salvatore

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"I can't look, I'm so blind. I lost my heart, I lost my mind."

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I WAKE WITH a jerk, my eyes opening wide as I turn over to check the time. It's one in the afternoon, meaning I have surprisingly slept for twelve hours. What's even more surprising is that I'm still tired.

I faintly remember hearing a familiar voice in my head before I fell into a deep sleep, but by now I can't remember if it was real or not. I can't trust myself very much between all the flashbacks and memories my mind threatens to throw at me, so to save myself the hassle of paranoia that is soon to follow, I decide to forget about the voice. At least for now until it causes an imminent problem.

I get up and head towards the bathroom, desperately craving a shower. I feel as if no matter how many times I clean myself, I can't get the dusty feeling of the tomb erased from my skin, as if it's tattooed into my flesh. It's probably just paranoia hitting me again. Whatever the case is, I can't seem to get into the shower fast enough.

It takes me a few tries to get the shower going, as this fancy faucet is different than the one at the motel. As soon as I get the water flowing however, it's pure bliss. The hot water hits my skin all at once, burning me slightly.

After a few seconds my skin seems to adapt, or numb even as the hot water relaxes my muscles. As much as I hate to admit it, my knees ache and my muscles pound every time I wake up. I guess that's what I get for being locked in a sitting position for 145 years. Being a vampire though I thought I'd be able to skip the soreness, but I guess not. I know it will pass in a few days with the more I move around; I'm like I'm made of tin and blood is the oil that allows me to move.

I almost don't want to get out of the shower, but soon my mind enters deep thoughts, my brain constructing wild theories and harassing me with thoughts and memories. That's when I know I have to turn off the water. I can't allow myself to fall into the trap of winding thoughts. If I do, my brain will consume me whole. If I think too much, I start to get anxious, and an anxious vampire is never good.

I step out of the shower into the moist air, wiping the steam off the mirror. I almost startle myself at the foreign reflection in the mirror, a pair of icy blue eyes staring back at me with an estranged look.

I almost don't recognize my own eyes, my own face. It's been so long since I've actually gotten a chance to stand in front of a mirror, to study myself. The way my thick brows curve above my eyes seems different. My jawline and cheek bones look unfamiliar. Everything about me seems different, almost empty.

I force myself to break the stare, focusing my attention on getting dressed. I simply throw on a stray ocean blue dress I have laying on my bed. I don't remember buying this, meaning my brothers must have picked it up for me. I make a mental note to buy myself some more clothes. If Damon and Stefan continue to buy me clothes, I'll start looking like a Raggedy Ann puppet.