Mistakes (A My Chemical Romance Problem)

Chapter 22: Glasses, Inhaler, Lord of the Rings and Pasty Skin I am a Nerd.

Avery.

We drove up to the old cabin and immediately every one piled out of the RV. The first thing any one did was go down to the beach. Yep, it was midday and we were all wanting to go swimming, everyone but me. I just wanted to lay down for a while even though I went to bed at around 5 and got up just as we pulled out of the parking lot of a McDonalds so that was at about nine. So I had about four hours of sleep and I was feeling a bit car sick. The first person awake out all of us was my dad at around I dunno six. He and Mikey switched off. I had Matt’s foot on me most of the night and then Bobby rolled onto me. We passed through another thunder storm so Bandit came and hid in my sleeping bag. Then Charlotte smacked me in the face with her hand. So let’s just say when I saw Chad waiting on the beach for me I felt like I just entered heaven’s hell. Apparently being gay is a sin so I’m not allowed in heaven and I refuse to go to hell so I’m in heaven’s hell. I stepped onto the soft, hot sand and fell beside Chad who was sun bathing happily. I was already in my board shorts, flip flops and a black tee shirt. I wish I had to confidence to go around with no shirt on like the other males of my family. I watched as Charlotte held Bandit in her arms as they swam in the lake water. Bandit was actually really relaxed which was surprising. Chad chatted to me for a little while before a conversation was brought up.

“Why are you so insecure?” Chad asked with a curious voice. I just sat there thinking. I was really hot, I mean warm. It was unbelievable. I sighed and tried to come up with an answer.

“I guess it’s ‘cause I’m a nerd and I’m pasty white and I’m afraid I’ll blind everybody.” I said. Chad looked at me with a weird face and tilted his head. He didn’t buy it. Or so I thought. Chad sighed then got up.

“Where are you going?” I called back at him. He smiled at me.

“Bathroom.” He called. I nodded and relaxed. The sun’s hot rays making me sweat as I tried to enjoy my day. Music already filled the air around the cabin. I stayed relaxed on the soft sand and listened to the music. My mind was dead as was I that is until; I felt a hand slap me in the face. It stung badly as my eyes flew open. I screamed in pain to see my dad standing over me with a boyish smile.

“Avery, you’ve been sleeping since noon you might want to come in.” Dad said in a soft voice. I looked around and it was late evening. Chad still sitting beside me watching as I begin to sit up and face the night. I hate my sleeping habits. I just want to sleep like a normal person. My dad left Chad and I on the beach. Chad seemed smug about himself. Oh dear this isn’t gonna be good. I was alarmed by his expression.

“What?” I asked curiously. A knot began twisting in my stomach as I waited for a reply. Chad smiled then frowned at me.

“I think I know how to boost your confidence.” Chad said with a boyish smirk spread across his lips. I bit my lip nervously. I didn’t notice he began to come closer to my side. I toke a heavy breath as he was right by my side now.

“How?” I asked nervously. He smiled boyishly before our lips met for the first time. I’ve only been kissed once in my life, and that was forced on me. This, this was willing. So much better than I’ve expected. I felt like an instinct toke over me and the stupid teen aged hormones had to come along and ruin it. Chad pulled away and giggled slightly.

“So how do you feel?” He asked. I was speechless. Absolutely amazed. I felt like I was hypnotized by his sexiness. I’m glad he hasn’t brought up the conversation on. . . .Uhhhh sex. Yet. I don’t even know how it works. Well I do, I mean one guy gets the other and movement happens and AHHHHH!!!! Why am I thinking of this? I am under age! It’s illegal for him and me. Not for another few months. I just realized that I’m graduating high school when I’m nineteen. Nine fucking teen. Well at least for my graduation gift I can go to the bar with some friends and hopefully Chad. Chad and I sat there for the rest of the night, listening to the music and watching the waves roll in and out lazily. Life as a wave is so easy; all you have to do is go with the flow.  

I sat there outside, being very proud of myself. I sat at the end of the dock listening to my IPod happily soaking in the morning sun before it got to hot. I’d just finished putting sun tan lotion on. I sat at the end of the dock shirtless. Yep. I had confidence in myself to be around family with no top on. I can’t wait to go into town soon. Most of the guys don’t wear a top for the whole summer but me, and it was till this morning I decided that I was going to change. Not much but be less scared to be me. I know I’m a nerd and I’m proud of it. I like star wars and Lord of the rings. I can do math equations without hesitation. I saw some one sit down beside me, I pulled one of the ear phones out and looked at my uncle Ray sitting there. Don’t know why but people keep calling him a cup cake murder. I think he’s just trying to promote muffins since cup cakes are the slutty muffins.

“Avery, are you feeling okay?” He asked with a joking tone. I laughed as he felt my forehead.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just decided to make a change.” I told him happily.

“Change is good.” Ray said happily watching the water with me.

“Yep.” I agreed with him. I was still feeling bad about something. I was made fun of so much then some one came into my life and said they love me and do anything for me but then they cause me pain and suffering. The pain and suffering is only a way to lead me to some one better and now I am happy but the first person went from some one I cherished to the type of person they said they’ll never be. Faith is now the person who makes my life a living hell. And I’m losing Ryan; I can’t afford to lose Chad to so I needed to change.

“Ray, how come change never seems to get you guys down?”  I asked curiously. Ray sighed.

“Because we never really change. We only grow.” Ray said sullenly. That was a good way of putting it. Was I changing or growing? I didn’t know. I didn’t want to change, just grow. I herd some one come down the dock. Ray looked back then at me. His hand on my shoulder.

“Good luck kido.” He said then made off leaving me with who ever was coming to see me. I sighed when I saw Charlotte came to sit beside me. She wore her usual bikini top and Daisy Dukes. She sat down and dangled her feet into the water. The water was nice and warm. She wanted something but what?

“Avery, what do you do when you have no one around you but people who follow their dreams and you are main stream?” She asked a tough question. I thought for a moment.

“Well living around a bunch of dreamers you can’t help but to become one yourself.” I replied to her happily. Charlotte splashed around a little.

“So you’re saying that I should follow my dreams?” She asked curiously. Why was she asking me this? She has Amy or some snob nosed bitch to talk too. I sighed and nodded.

“Yeah. Like me, I wanna be the drummer in dad’s band or make up my own band,” I confessed. Charlotte looked at me curiously.

“You wanna be in dad’s band?” She asked with a squeaky tone. I laughed slightly and smiled.

“Yep but I’m thinking that it’s best if I just follow my own foot steps.” I said to her.

“I want to be in a band or some one famous and show people gays aren’t aliens but human beings.” I whispered to her happily.

“I think you should do that.” Charlotte said in a light tone. She smiled at me.

“What do you want to do?” I asked Charlotte curiously. Charlotte looked at me.

“I want to show people that disabled people can become writers so I wanna be an author.” She replied happily splashing around again.

“You can be anybody you wanna be.” I whispered to her. She smiled and hugged me tightly.

“You’re so smart Avery, why don’t you do something like Andy does.” Charlotte sad to me. I shrugged to her and thought about it. I can be a politician and play music at the same time.

“I’m a nerd.”