Mistakes (A My Chemical Romance Problem)

Chapter 15: Funeral for a Friend.

Avery.

Watching your little sister’s coffin being lowered into the ground has got to be the hardest thing to watch. No matter how much you may dislike them watching and attending their funeral is hard. I couldn’t go, but I went anyways. My heart ached as the priest said a few words. It was a nice day for a funeral, it was crap outside. The clouds layered the sun out and it was cold and damp. I stood there; I don’t normally like getting dresses up like in a suit but this is for Abby and she deserves the best. There were reporters gathering around the cemetery snapping pictures and calling for us. I blocked them out. I didn’t care anymore. Paul Barker is a free man right now; they’re still doing law stuff. But he is a murderer, he killed Abby. If the government doesn’t get him soon I will. I looked over to see my dad holding my mom as she cried like a baby. Gerard brought LynZ and Bandit. All my mom’s family were here, well actually not all of them, just her brothers and parents. Mikey held Matt’s hand and Ray stood behind Bobby with his hands on Bobby’s shoulders. Charlotte held Audrey in her arms tightly. Blake couldn’t be here, he had to work. Amy and Ryan were even here to pay respects to Abby. I felt hollowed out and exposed. I didn’t want anybody to be near me right now so I stood away from my family. I herd my name being called. My gaze flashed to the priest.

“Son, you wanted to say a few words.” The priest said with a calm steady voice. I gulped and nodded. My feet moved through the damp grass quickly as I toke center stage. It seemed almost as though I had lost my voice, I wasn’t going to be herd. I sighed as the words flowed from my brain to my mouth.

“Abby has always been the type to help people, me and her have had so many long talks.” I paused to gaze at my family.

“She was always there for us, when we needed someone to talk too or help us with chores. She was so caring and she’s always wanted to help people, who knew it’d be the death of her.” I uttered softly, my voice ached.

“She once told me she was here twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. If I ever needed a person to talk too, for a four year old she had really good advice.” I paused trying to hold back the tears that seemed to dominate me. I thought for a moment trying to come to a conclusion.

“What I’m trying to say is; Abby didn’t deserve to die like this. She died a hero. She’s a hero because she saw some one try and hurt her family and she did the one thing she knew best, defend the ones you love. I guess it’s my fault for telling her that. Some people are born great, some people achieve greatness and some people die great. Abby is all three. She will be missed dearly but I think if she were here today she’d want us to be crying tears of joy, because we’d be laughing at all the stupid and unreal things she’s done in the short four years of her life. Abby we love you and you will be missed.” I ended sullenly. I sighed a breath of relief as I stepped away. I couldn’t handle this situation so I wandered around the cemetery alone gazing at the unmarked graves. I didn’t care where I was going as long as I was away from this nightmare. I herd my name being called in a ghostly voice that sounded like a child. I spun around to see nothing, no one standing behind me. A ghoulish giggle crept down my spine; it sent shivers flying through me. I was becoming scared and nervous as I wandered the gloomy cemetery. The feeling of not being alone followed me around like a thunder cloud. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, my breathing was heavy and quick as my walk turned to a run. A Mausoleum doors stopped me in my tracks. My name swept passed me like the wind blowing in the dead tree. I turned to hear my name once again this time by a fermilure voice. I saw a little girl standing before me. Her bronze curls had two ruby red bows putting them into mature pigtails. She wore a white dress that came went an inch above her knees. She had small white flats on. Her skin a ghostly white, her lips a royal blue. The darkness in her eyes reflected a life that she once had. She carried a doll. Molly, Abby’s favourite doll she always had. She smiled up at me as I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. The shivers ran down my spine causing all the hair on my entire body to stand on edge.

“Avery!” She called happily coming up to me wrapping her arms around my waist in a tight hug. I was paralyzed I couldn’t do anything as my dead sister skipped around me happily.

“I’m dreaming.” I muttered to myself. I laughed at my insanity. Abby looked at me curiously.

“You’re right, you are dreaming.” Abby said to me happily. I felt better knowing that I was dreaming this whole thing. Abby wasn’t dead. When I wake up she’ll be at the foot of my bed ready with my antibiotics. She’ll be in her old overalls and a tee shirt. I closed my eyes tightly and opened them hoping that I’d wake up. I looked around to see Abby still standing there in front of me with a girly smiled dancing across her face. I began to cry again, not in pain but happiness. I thought I’d never get to see my baby sister again. I hugged her tightly and picked her up off her feet. Her arms and legs wrapped around my torso. Abby pried herself from me and laughed, poking me then running away giggling ‘you it!’ Like a good person I chased after her happily. We played in the cemetery like two fools. This is the first time in the passed two weeks I’ve laughed, let alone smiled. My heart filled with joy and excitement. We sat down on a bench and toke a breather.

“Avery, I’m with the angels now, but I’ll visit you every night in your dreams.” Abby said in a low girlish voice. I watched her for a long moment as she hugged me and kissed my cheek Good-Bye. To my horror she faded away into the bench. And I, I was alone once again.

I was violently shaken awake, my eyes flickered open to see Ray standing over me a worried and nervous expression painted on his fermilure face. I could still feel the place Abby’s lips touched softly. My hand brushed it as I sat up in the lounge chair. My eyes scanned the room; my dad was on the couch holding Audrey for the first time. LynZ and Bandit went home but Gerard stayed with us. I sighed a shaky breathe as my eyes flashed to a fermilure female standing in the corner. Faith. She was standing in the corner a sad look written on her ivory face. I was still aching alot from my bruised ribs and apparently yesterday when I was having a coughing fit, I cracked one of my ribs. Yeah, Uhhhh ouch.

“Avery, can I talk to you?” Faith asked in a soft whisper. I nodded and struggled to get out of the comfy chair. Usually this is my dad’s chair but since he’s been away, it’s become mine. Sorda. Faith’s eyes had dark rings around them and her golden curls were put into a messy bun. She stood at the window in my room. Her arms crossed as she gazed out my window.  I leaned against the door, making sure no one would come in suddenly.

“Avery, I’m so, so, so sorry ‘bout Abby. I wish I could’ve gone to the funeral.” Faith whispered. I nodded at her calmly. My nerves tingled slightly at her name. It was quiet for a long moment. Faith went to say something about the Christmas party but I stopped her. She didn’t a get word inch wise.

“Faith, it wasn’t your fault. I should’ve stayed and taken care of you, instead of leaving like that.” I uttered with a sorrow filled voice. Faith’s eyes widened by my comment.

“Avery! How can you have such blind faith in me? I did this to you, if I didn’t try and . . . Abby would still be alive.” Faith cried out to me. How would Abby still be alive? I looked at her curiously.

“How would Abby still be alive?” I asked in a concerned voice. Faith frowned at me.

“If I hadn’t gotten drunk you wouldn’t have gone home and gotten in the crash and then you would be the one watching Abby when they went to the store, instead of the hospital.” Faith said. I just stood there realizing that she would be alive if I hadn’t gotten into that accident. This was my fault. A four months ago if I were to here about this instead of saying ‘why me?’ I’d say ‘try me.’ But if I do that now something’ll happen and it’ll be worse and worse. So here I am thinking. Why me?