Chapter 12

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Starr's POV

I knew I had to tell him sooner or later.

He parked in my driveway, and came to the other side of the car to open my door. I got out, and he held my hand, and walked me up the steps to my front door.

"Well .. I guess I'll get going." CJ said to me. I could tell by his facial expression he was sad.

"Yeah, can you head to the mall and buy me some Chinese. Well, buy US some Chinese. I haven't eaten all day." I said, as I was reaching to pull money out of my purse.

CJ laughed and then stopped me.

"Naw, ma. I gotchu." He said.

I gave him a hug, and watched as he went back to his car.

I went straight into the bathroom to freshen up, and clean off most of that bitch's blood off me.

I went to my closet and put on some red boyshorts, and my giant Chicago Bulls sweater that stopped right above my knees. I put my hair into a high bun, and put on my black fuzzy slippers.

I looked at the clock and it was 7:45, and it was light as hell outside. Daylight savings.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, and swallowed my pills.

I went into the living room and sat crisscrossed on my sofa, and put the TV on the Bulls vs. Heat game. I looked at the score and my bulls were up by 5 points.

Robinson had the ball, and he threw it up to make a three. I stood up, rooting. The ball was just about to go into the hoop, when the doorbell rang.

I walked to the door, and CJ stood with two boxes of Chinese, and 2 bottled sodas. He also had on a different outfit. Some sweat pants, a Nike t-shirt, and some Nike slides.

"I like how you changed up for me, ma." CJ said, licking his lips. I couldn't help but blush.

"Same to you," I said.

I walked away and motioned for him to come in.

I had a very large house for only me to live in. I loved it that way.

I sat on the couch, and CJ sat beside me.

I opened my box, and I asked CJ for a spoon.

"I forgot to get them, ma. You got some in your kitchen, tho. Right?" He said.

"Duh, nigga." I said laughing.

"They're in in the top cabinet on the left."

"Gotchaa." He got up, and came back. With 2 spoons, and a bottle of my meds.

"Aye Starr .. I wasn't tryna snoop through your shit or nothing like that, but I saw this on the counter. What is it & who's it for?" He asked, looking worried.

"CJ, come here." I said, and patted the seat beside me.

He sat next to me and lifted me up and sat me in his lap. "I told you that I have secrets, and you have secrets. We both told each other some of our secrets, but I know we both have at least one that we're either embarressed to admit, or worried to admit cause we think we might lose each other. Ain't that right?" I asked.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and sighed, "Yeah ma, that's right."

I looked down and fidgeted with my fingers, "Well, CJ. I have a bipolar disorder. My emotions are everywhere. Ever since I was younger I had to take medication to at least stop it. But, as you can tell, it hasn't stopped. It's not as bad as it was when I was younger, tho. That's why I went off on Tammy at our last basketball game. I didn't take my meds that day. And, I only took 1 pill instead of the 3 I'm suppose to take today, that's why I went off on ole' girl today & I started laughing like I was crazy. I forgot you were there at that moment. It's like when I'm around you, my disorder just fades away .. know what I mean?" I asked.

CJ turned me to face him and said, "I don't care what you got, ma. I like you the way that you are. I ain't saying I like when you fight, but it be turning me on." He laughed. "I got you, ma. I'll take care of you. I like how you told me that, tho. I feel like I can tell you mines now."

CJ took a deep breath and said, "I'm a drug dealer. But, not only me. My whole family. Quez, Dace, and Eric are too. We got the biggest industry here in Orlando. I was afraid to tell you at first cause I thought you wasn't gone accept what I do. feel me? Not only am I a drug dealer, but I work with your brother, Kai, too." I dropped my jaw. "Don't hit me, ma." He said.

I laughed. "Nigga, I ain't finna hit you. I was just shocked when you said you work for Kai, cause when I was telling my ma your name, her smile had faded away, but it returned quickly. I didn't have time to ask her any questions, tho. She's the only one in my family who can't stand that drug shit, but we all cool with it." I said.

"Thanks, ma." He replied.

"Can we get to eating now? My food getting cold." I asked. He laughed and said, "Fat ass."

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After we were done eating, I picked up our trash and threw them in the trash can in the kitchen.

I went back to the living room to see CJ laying on my couch, watching the game.

I went upstairs to get my Geology books. I forgot to study this weekend, and I had a major test tomarrow. I knew I was already going to Ace it because I studied the whole week, but I just wanted to jog up my memory.

I cane back downstairs and sat on the floor in front of the couch cause CJ tall ass took up the whole thing. I put my glasses on and began studying.

"BULLS!!" CJ yelled, getting up & jumping up and down.

"So, it seems like you like the bulls, huh?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Yeah, ma. I notice you like them too with that outfit on." CJ said, licking his lips. This nigga love his lips.

"Of course. I'ma be the first girl Chicago Bullian." I said.

He laughed. "I'ma be out there, too. Passing you the ball every chance I get." He said.

"Yeah, right ..." I replied.

"Ma, come lay with me. I'm lonely on this couch." CJ said, giving me puppy dog eyes.

"Nigga, don't you see I'm studying?" I asked, irritated.

"Okay, damn." He said.

He stayed quiet for about 5 minutes.

I closed my books, and took off my glasses and layed down in front of him.

"That's what I thought." He said, as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Fuck you." I said.

"Whenever you want, ma. I'ma be here." He said, licking his lips.

I looked up at him with a serious face, then rolled my eyes and laughed. I had already told him I was a virgin, and I didn't want him to take advantage of me. He laughed, too. 

"I'm just playing, ma. But, on a serious note tho .. I want you to be mines." He said.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Why? I'm bipolar. I don't think you'll be able to handle me." I replied.

He took my hair out of my bun, and was playing in my hair. "Like I already said, Starr. I got you." CJ said.

He released his grasp around me, and I stood up. He sat up too. I sat in his lap, facing him, and my back turned toward the TV.

I put my forehead on his, and said, "You know you'll be my first EVER boyfriend?"

"Yup. First and last." He said, laughing.

"Okay." I replied.

"Okay what?" He asked, confused.

"Okay, boyfriend." I said, showing all my braces.

CJ grinned so hard, I thought his grill was about to pop out of his fucking mouth. He looked down at my lips, and asked, "Can I?"

I kissed him. On the lips. I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the passion and love our first kiss had.

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