Wild Ambition

Chapter 31

It wasn't that much longer after my grandmother had gone back inside before Jordan was sitting next to me. We had said hello to each other, but that was about it. I think our grandmother had definitely told her what was going on so she knew that I had been abused. She seemed to be nervous, like she wasn't sure if she should bring the topic up or wait for me to do that. There was also a good chance that she wasn't sure what to say at the moment. I hadn't told that many people, but the ones that I had told, had always had a hard time getting out the right words.

They had been afraid of saying the wrong thing to me, which wasn't really that much of a shock when someone found out that something awful had happened to you. No one, but me, knew what I was going through or how I was feeling. Everyone else could only imagine, but they wouldn't come close to knowing how I felt.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jordan asked sometime later. I don't know how much time had passed by since she had joined me, but I knew we had sat in silence for some time.

"I don't know. I've never really talked about it so my first answer would be no, but I know that I can't keep it to myself for forever," I said staring straight ahead of me into the backyard.

Our grandparents had quite the busy backyard. It seemed like there was not one spot that had been left untouched. There were many small gardens built around the backyard. Some of them were filled with vegetables that our grandmother was growing and others were filled with all sorts of flowers. It was quite the colorful backyard. Sometimes I wondered how my grandmother kept up with all the things that she had growing in her backyard.

I'm sure my grandfather helped her out, but I knew that the gardens were mostly hers. No matter how many things my grandmother had growing out here, it seemed like nothing ever died, but yet it also seemed like there was always something new out here.

I usually didn't come out here that often, only when my grandparents had decided to eat outside instead of inside because the weather was just too perfect not to sit outside and eat. It was a beautiful place to come and think, which I should probably take more advantage since it seems like the sun always shines here in California. I hadn't seen any rain since I had been here, but I'm sure I would eventually see a cloudy sky while I was here. After all I didn't have any plans to live someplace else. I was done moving.

Plus, I really wanted to stay where my family was, not just because they were here, but also because I wanted them in my life and I wanted to get to know all of them more until they actually felt like family. Then there was my father, of course. I didn't want to leave now that I had found him.

"I've never known anyone who has gone through what you've gone through, but I'm here for you if you want to talk to me about it. And if you decide to talk to me about it, then I'll listen and do my best to help you through it," Jordan said breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked over at her for the first time since she had come outside. Smiling at her, I replied, "Thanks."

"It's no problem. I'm just not just your cousin. I'm your friend too," she said smiling back at me as we continued to look at each other.

"What did our grandmother tell you exactly?" I asked her, curious to know how much our grandmother had told her. There wasn't that much that I had told my grandparents so there wasn't that much that our grandmother could tell Jordan, but I was also just fishing to see if our grandmother had actually told Jordan. I was pretty certain she had, but I wanted to make sure.

"She told me that some of Aunt Charlotte's old boyfriends had hurt you," Jordan said holding my gaze. I was surprised that neither of us had looked away from each other.