Gone

Chapter 23 [Juliana] Who's up For Girls Night? *

Once I reached my house is when I wouldn't let myself cry anymore. I can't let any more tears fall, mostly because I shouldn't let someone have this much power and control over me. I cannot believe what just happened and that Spencer was the one to tell me about it! I honestly don't have any idea on what to do at this moment. I'm shaking. I can't concentrate on walking so I keep tripping over basically my own feet. Finally after maybe twenty minutes of fast paced speed walking I ended up making it to my house, where I can be by myself. Alone.

I cautiously put my hand on the door and twist it, but it fails to open because it's locked. Right before I start pounding my fist onto it, I realize that's probably not the best idea, considering how late it is. When I even out my breathing and I start to calm myself down, I back up and sit on the top step leading up to the porch. I'm still in so much emotional pain though, and it's so difficult for me to stop thinking about what the hell I was just told. My boyfriend, well the boy I really like, hooked up with another girl? Why? How did that actually happen to even begin with?

I lost my virginity to this boy. I lost the only thing I didn't even plan on giving away, and then he goes and does this to me? Why in the world would he treat me this way? Kissing another girl is one thing, especially because we're technically not dating just yet, but making out with tongue is different. And what about how he fingered her? That's horrible! That can't be true! But it is, and he admitted it to me and the thing that's completely killing me is that he didn't chase after me like he should have, or I would have expected him to. Blaze just let me go, just as simple as that.

Right when I'm about to break into tears again is when I hear heavy footsteps behind me, and the unlock is done, as I hear the front door open. I don't bother to turn around though.

"Jules?" my dad asks, his voice unsure and almost confused. I say nothing. "Juliana, is that you?"

I clear my throat and dry the wetness from my cheeks and I wipe under my eyes. "Yeah," I carefully let out. "It's me daddy."

"Honey, what are you doing out here?" he sternly speaks up, aggravation in his voice. Of course he's upset, probably because of how it's close to midnight. "It's past eleven, and you know your cerfew is ten o'clock."

"No, actually. I didn't know that dad," I quietly tell him.

"Oh," his voice drops.

"We don't communicate anymore, at least not like we used to," I explain, starting to have unwanted water cloud up my bloodshot eyes again. "Just leave me alone."

"Jules, let's talk. Come inside right now," he orders, but I just suddenly loudly interrupt him.

"No dad," I rudely rush out, him huffing under his breath behind me. "Leave the door unlocked and I'll come inside when I'm done balling my eyes out. Okay?"

And there's silence as I hear the door softly close behind me. I start crying now, full crying, because of how alone I know I am right now. My daddy's gone and doesn't even care that his only daughter is sobbing in tears. Why do I always expect people I love to care about me when I know that they don't?

And then when I'm not expecting any other noise is when I hear mumbling in the background, as if my father is speaking to my mother. I can tell from the shadow around me that a light flipped on, and then the door flings open which causes me to nearly have a heart attack.

"Julie, sweetheart?" my mother rushes out, as I cover my face with my shaking hands and take a long deep breath.

"Yeah mom. I'm home," I try to let out without her noticing that I'm upset.