Gone

Chapter 78 [Mickey] Our Little Secret

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! PLEASE JUST KNOW HOW SORRY I AM FOR TAKING LEGIT ALMOST A YEAR TO UPDATE THIS STORY! I'M IN CAPS SO ALL OF YOU WILL KNOW HOW MUCH I APOLOGIZE FOR THROWING THIS BOOK TO THE SIDE. I'M HORRIBLE! I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN "MBBF" THAT I GAVE UP ON THIS STORY AND LET MY WRITERS BLOCK TAKE OVER. BUT THIS ISN'T THE CASE ANYMORE. KNOW WHY? BECAUE IT'S GONE! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING TO MAKE HAPPEN NOW AND IT FEELS AMAZING. I MISSED WRITING THIS SO MUCH. HERE'S AN UPDATE, FINALLY! PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT.
I HOPE YOU'RE ALL EXCITED! <3

      Spencer and Tessa decide to come to my place to keep me company on this boring day, and when I walk inside is when I notice the darkness and silence. My mom isn't here again, clearly. Who knows where she is? It's not anything unusual, because I'm used to this shit by now. I make my way inside as the thunder roars and a flash of lightning strikes from outside, and so much is running through my mind right at this moment. I've never felt so alone. So, lost. . .

   Jace is gone and I have no idea where the hell he can possibly be. He doesn't care about me anymore, and this huts especially considering the gang isn't even a main concern right now. He's just done with me, and it kills to know this. But there's nothing I can do but just move on with my life and keep my head high, because I'm used to being let down. You would think by now that I would stop caring about people leaving me, but I do care. I'll always care. And it sucks.

   "Mickey, what do you want to do?" Tessa quietly questions, throwing herself down on my bed while I walk over to my window, staring up silently at the sky. "I feel like snorting a line."

    "Me too," Spencer agrees with her, and I inhale a deep and anxious breath. "I got some with me. We can do a few to pick ourselves up. Mickey what're you thinking?"

     I suddenly turn my head and my eyes lock with his in response. "Nothing. I'm just really tired... We kind of had a crazy night last night, remember?" Sarcasm fills my tones as he rolls his eyes. "Almost got killed, Jace left me, partied so hard I had a threesome with my friends, visited our dead friend's grave today... I'm like, done. Done with fucking everything." I face my back towards them and I firmly fold my arms across my chest, trying to keep calm but I want to put my fist or head through a wall with eveyrthing in me. I just want to freak out.

    "Babe," Tessa mutters, really emotional as I hear my bed squeek and a few seconds later I feel a pair of thin arms wrap around my waist. I close my eyes in a burst of sadness and we both just stay silent because in all seriousness, there's nothing we could possibly say. Nothing she could say. Nothing Spence could say. And definitely not anything I could say.

   "We've had a tough couple of days okay, I get it. But let's not get suicidal, arite? You sound like you're about to jump off a bridge and kill yourself or some shit. You sound crazy," Spencer says to me and Tessa releases me, a loud gasp coming from her mouth. She must be glaring at him in horror because of the way she stays perfctly quiet. "What? I'm not right?"

     "Don't say that to her! That's messed up."

    "Why? He's right. . . I am crazy. I'm legit about done with this shit. Nobody understand what I'm going through and I'm so done with holding this in. You guys are my best friends and you have the right to know that I'm in a wicked terrible state of mind. But are you both happy?" I harshly demand, turning to face them with a serious expression tking over my face and they say nothing. "See, no. You're not happy either. None of us are happy. Nothing's the same. Everything changing and I can't stand it! I don't want to deal with this anymore! You're such hyprocrits."

     I practically run across my bedroom over to my bathroom door, Tessa rushing back to her feet while Spencer stays motionless and depressed on my bed. Closing and locking the door is when she pounds on it a few times, and I don't answer it. I press my back against it and I slowly inch down until I'm sitting on the tile floor, unexpected tears forming in my eyes.