A Hustler's Bonnie (BOOK 5)

Chapter Three -- Pillow Talk

"Same kid's went to Catholic school is dealers
And the same nigga's had no heart is now killers..."
-- Ma$e


Chapter Three -- Pillow Talk

Karly's POV


When Erik came back in from the conversation with his mom, Kaila, I knew almost instantly whatever they talked about wasn't to his liking. His eyes, the windows to his soul, was distant, as if he had something heavy on his mind.

Whenever I asked him something, or tried to bring up conversation, he'd give me short, dry answers such as yeah, that's cool, and oh.

Now lying in bed with my head on his bare chest and his arm around my waist, I don't know what to say. I've always been a quiet person, not shy, but very uncommunicative and he's usually always the one with good conversation, but now with him on silent mode, the muted atmosphere feels weird.

I let my eyes roam around my too-small studio apartment that I've hated since the first day I moved here. Imagine having a bed room, a living room, a kitchen, and a dinning room in one area. Nothing is private; thank God the bathroom is separate. But the rent is cheap, and back then, it was all I could afford and for that, I'll never take the cramped space for granted.

"Karly?" Erik suddenly questioned, his voice deeper than normal from sleepiness.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, still resting on his chest.

His arms tightened around my waist, pulling my body closer to his before I felt him kiss the top of my head. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything," I told him, a little excited that he's talking again.

"What happened to your parents? I remember you said something about having sisters."

I sighed, not wanting to talk about my selfish, money hungry, family. How do you tell someone about a father you never knew, a mother who only called for bankroll, and teenage sisters that's out of control?

"If you don't want to--"

"No, it's okay," I cut him off, "I knew you'll ask sooner or later." I sat up in the bed, pulling my legs to my chest as I looked over at Erik who was waiting patiently for me to begin. I looked away, already ashamed as I said, "My mama only loves me when I'm giving her money, or at least that's how I feel. She's not a dope fein or anything like that, she works just like any other woman, but it's never enough. It's never been enough.

"For as long as I can remember, she's always struggled with making ends meet, that's why I never hesitated to give her money, but when Gumbo went to jail, the money stopped 'cause I didn't have it. I'll never forget what she told me when I lost the condo we were staying in..."

I knocked my tightly closed fist on the wooden door to my mama's apartment. The strong aroma of piss was starting to give me a headache as I stood in the filthy hallway with a black, trash bag full of clothes -- my clothes, and everything else I could gather up in the condo that was worth something at a pawn shop.

The door opened, Mama stood in the doorway with a pleased smile on her face. Her eyes looked me over and when they saw the bag, her smile vanished.

"Mama, they evicted me," I told her before she had a chance to say anything. "I don't have anywhere else to go."

"What does that have to do with me?" she said, her eyes dragging slowly over my face.

I laughed a little, thinking she's joking with me, "It has everything to do with you, you're my mother."

Her face, the one that resembles mine, hardened. "Bitch, you haven't been around since July," she said disgusted, "that was damn near three months ago!"

I was stunned. My mama has never called me out of my name. "Mama, I don't have any money. They arrested Gumbo in May, in July I literally gave you money out of my last!"

"You're lying," she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"I'm not, Ma." Tears were beginning to form in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away, "Please, please just let me stay here until I get on my feet."

She put her hands on her wide hips, "Now how in the hell are you going to do that? Your ass didn't even finish school."

"I'll figure something out. I always do, remember? I don't have anywhere else to go."

She looked me up and down, her eyes finally softening and I was beginning to feel relieved before she said, "Don't come back here unless you have my money."

The door slamming was like a slap in the face and a punch in the gut, a ultimate low blow and the worst thing about it, it all came from my mother.

"Do you still give her money now?" Erik asked.

I nodded my head, "Yeah, but only because she has my sisters."

He nodded in understanding. "What about your father?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I never knew him. Someone told me years ago that he died while fighting in the military."

"I'm sorry," Erik said in pity. "Maybe if he would've been there, you and your mom probably would have a better relationship."

"Yeah," I nodded, "I always think about that. It's always like I have this big weight on my shoulders, you know? It's hard letting down the people that depend on you. You're lucky to have two parents that still love each other. A lot of kids -- not just in the hood -- wishes for that."

Erik didn't say a word, and I assumed he was thinking about what I said. I got underneath the covers with him, my body snuggling up next to his.

I cherished moments like these because we don't get them often. Being out all night doing the worst of sins, I rarely have the time to lay around and just think.
Today was defiantly a close call, if that bullet that wheezed by my head was just a few inches closer and if that gun was in Gumbo's hand instead of Erik's we both wouldn't be here.

Suddenly, my heart began to beat faster and the cold chills that I'm so familiar with ran up my back.

I snuggled even closer to Erik, erasing my thoughts. Maybe it's not good to think any-damn-way.

He kissed the top of my forehead. "I love you, Kar," he mumbled.

I breathed out a, "Love you too," before closing my eyes, shaking that demon off of my back.