Paper Birds

Chapter Forty-Six ; Kamikaze, Come Down

"Claire, stop!"

I didn't stop. I keep marching down the street, away from that wretched house.

"Claire, you don't know what you're doing."

I whipped around to face Harry, tears brimming on my eyes. "I know perfectly well what I'm doing, thank you very much."

He lightly took my hands in his, rubbing his thumb across my palms. "He's your father. I'm sure you didn't mean any of that."

I ripped my arms out of his hands. "I meant every damn word."

I sprinted down the street, ignoring Harry yelling for me. A car swerved and the driver started to tell at me before I flipped him off, running faster.

"Claire, stop!" Harry shouted, trying to catch up with me. "Please."

Once again, I ignored him, a million thoughts rolling through my mind too fast too process them.

"Clarissa Madeline Coligan, you'd better stop running right now or I'll force you to."

My pace slowed at the sound of my full name. He had never called me that. No one had ever called me that, as far as I can remember. He sounded extremely angry.

I still didn't stop, tears streaming off of my cheeks as the cold wind but at them, willing the bad memories to go away. Just to go away..

All of a sudden something collided into me from behind, knocking me off of my feet and into someone's lawn. It took me a while to regain my breath and process what had just happen.

"Please don't run away again," Harry murmured, his eyes red.

I lay on my back, staring up at the sky, my chest heaving.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled breathlessly. "I'm so sorry."

He pressed my head against his chest, allowing me to feel the quick beating of his heart. "Shhh. It's okay now."

I just shook my head weakly, closing my eyes. "No, no it's not."

He sat up and positioned me across from him, his hands resting on my shoulders. "Don't talk like that. You have to believe it's going to be okay. It will. Time tells everything, you just have to believe. Okay?"

I nodded quickly, a tear creeping down my cheek. 

"Do you trust me?"

I nodded again, hanging my head in dismal. He grabbed my hand. "Then let's go." 

I licked my lips, not moving. "I can't. I need to talk to Jonah."

He cleared his throat. "Then, well, talk to him."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "I can't!"

He bit his lip and shifted onto his right knee. "Look at me."

I shook my head, knowing I'd die inside if I met his eyes.

He shook my shoulders and said shakily, "Claire, look at me."

Reluctantly, I tilted my head up to face him, a mixure of remorse, fear and anger flickering through his eyes. I was going to say something but my voice was hitched in my throat. 

He looked at me carefully, his voice faltering. "You have to push forward. We're fighters, remember? Remember how much we went through? You're strong. You're a trooper, Claire. You have to believe that. You can do this. I know you can." 

My lips trembled. "I don't want to go back in that house."

"Trust me, neither do I. But you have to. Okay? I'll carry you there."