Paper Birds

Chapter Three ; Never Found Alone

Something stirred in my mind, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. My eyelids fluttered and I was greeted by a blinding light on top of the ceiling. Where was I? Was I at home? 

I sat up, eyes shut tight, and rubbed my head. It hurt. A lot. I flinched when my fingertips rubbed over a large bump on the back of my head and whimpered. 

"She's awake!" 

I blinked again to see Abby rushing over to me, then took in my surroundings. It looked like we were in a dressing room. So it wasn't a dream. Secretly, something inside of me was thankful that it was real. I choked down those feelings and told myself that I wanted to get out of there.

"Hi." 

I looked up to see Abby now right beside of me. "Hey," I replied quietly, only just now noticing that my hair was pulled out of the ponytail I had it in earlier. It cascaded down my back and over my shoulders in long, wavy locks of dark brown hair. 

"You look really pretty with your hair down." Abby always has a compliment for everyone.

"And a big bump on the back of my head?" I asked, but couldn't help but smile. There was no other person in the world I'd rather be with right now than Abby. Only her.

And then - of course - Louis walks in.

On instinct I put my face in my hands. I didn't want to deal with him right now. My head was pounding and my legs were sore, and it seemed like everything was in pain. I could hear Abby leave the room without a sound and Louis sit down across from me. I shivered when he took a strand of my hair and brushed it out of my face. 

"Hey."

I didn't respond. 

"Abby told me what happened. You know, with you and Jared." 

I looked up at him. This wasn't about Jared and me. This had nothing to do with our relationship. 

"Why would you kiss me when you're dating Eleanor?" I asked, rather loudly. It just came out and I felt bad. It was a bit abrupt and I could tell that he was caught by surprise. He ran a hand through his hair - his perfect, gorgeous hair - and looked away from me. I exhaled and added, "Sorry. You don't have to answer that." 

He shook his head and sat on his knees, facing me. "No. I want to. You deserve to know. I just don't know how to put it in words."

I bit my tongue. So it wasn't just because he wanted to make a 'fan' happy. 

He leaned in closer, clasping his hands together. After a long pause, he started, "There's just something about you. You stand out from a crowd."

I looked down at my blinding white clothing, then snapped my eyes back up at him when he laughed. "No, not your clothing. You were at an event that it the best day of a lot of girls' lives, and it didn't effect you at all. Like you've seen better. Or that you're beyond feeling anything. Like, that nothing can touch you."

He rubbed his forehead. "Sorry," I said softly, not sure whether to feel guilty about not being happy about this or to feel bad that I'm putting him through this.

"No, no, don't apologize." He leaned in even closer, his hands on his knees. I backed up a little to the arm of the couch, my breathing getting shorter. 

"I want to help you. I heard about your family life and I want to help you."

I refused to let tears slide out. Taking in a deep, shaky breath, I asked the most obvious question: "How?" 

He grabbed my hands and suddenly our lips met. Our bodies were against each other, his hands creeping up my back and to my shoulders. He sat me up, our lips never parting. Until the door opened.

Louis was still holding me, but the look on his face made me queasy. I glanced to see who was at the door.

None other than the famous Harry Styles.

He was gritting his teeth, and when I glanced back at Louis I saw a mixture of shock, guilt and plead on his face. Harry slammed the door in pure anger and left. Louis looked at me with the same expression he had on before.

"He told me I can't be with you. He told me it would ruin my career. He told me that all of my fans would turn against me if they knew I would ever cheat on Eleanor."

I squinted at him, my voice becoming hoarse. "Are you cheating on Eleanor?" 

His eyes danced with something that made me excited. "I won't be soon."

He got up and left, not bothering to shut the door behind him. Immediately Harry started yelling at him. And then I realized Harry was right. I would ruin his career. Everything he worked hard for would be gone because of me. 

And so I left. I got up and slammed the door, pushing away from Louis, who didn't seem to notice, passing Niall who seemed to be trying to get the two to stop fighting. Then he stopped me. He caught me by the shoulder and I could see a flicker of concern in his blue eyes. "Wait, where are you going?"

"Harry's right. I'm just bringing you all down. Forget I was even here." I offered him the biggest smile I could muster and left the studio.

------

It was cold. The streets of New York city were still bustling, though the presence of other people didn't offer me any warmth. A huge truck drove by and splattered me with mud. On my white clothing. So that's perfect. 

I nearly jumped when my phone in my back pocket buzzed. I unlocked it and didn't recognize the number at first. The message read: "I need the money. Now." I knew exactly who it was.

Ever since Jared died, I've been a gambler. Nobody knows about my secret life, not even Abby. I can't afford to tell anyone. But lately it's becoming a real problem. I now owed this guy nearly a thousand dollars, cash. Don't ask me where I got that kind of money, because I didn't get that kind of money.

I moaned with worry, my bottom lip quivering. I knew he would be looking for me. I knew the consequences if he didn't get the money from me tonight, and I'll be honest; they aren't good. More than anything I wanted Louis be with me, I wanted to feel his warmth and see his perfect eyes and hold his lips with mine. But I know I could never go back. I would just have to pretend this whole thing never happened for his sake.