Sex Lessons [h.s// fanfic]

Chapter 95

 S t e l l a 

  I've gotten accustomed to the heavy, aching feeling of loneliness. The constant reminder of Harry slaps me in the face every time I see Candice, and the irony of not being able to entirely get rid of him makes me laugh every time I talk to her. 

It's been months. The first few weeks without him again was terrible. I cried myself to sleep, skipped most meals of the day, and substituted cups of orange juice for glasses of wine. It's as if my subconscious  mocks me because I see the shadows of his sweet face every time I close my eyes. I can't seem to focus in school most days, and even though Harry's seat is always empty it's as if I feel him there, turning back to smile at me the way he does. 

My father zips up his large black traveling bag and faces me with a small limp smile. I hand him a bottle of sunscreen, to his amusement, he takes.

"It's the middle of December kiddo, I won't be needing this," He rubs the stubble growing on his chin while pondering and says decisively, "I'll bring it. Just in case." 

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking about the time of year. I've just been out of it lately and can't seem to use my brain.." I drift off, throat itching for a taste of alcohol  at the  indirect reminder of Harry, once again. I never knew I could feel this hollow, so scraped and emptied from a boy I swore I would never like. 

My father swallows slowly and dips down to collect his baggage. "It's been a month and..I think it's time to move on," He's skating on thin ice, one more reference and I will collapse. 

"So? We all heal differently. I may need one more month of this sulking and I will be back to normal, innocent Stella," My smile is plastic and it hurts to talk so optimistically. 

"Don't drink all the wine in the house when I'm gone. Matter of fact, I already made sure Federica put a lock on the wine cellar. And don't think of bribing her for the key because I have it now in my possession." He grins, zipping up his dark coat.

"Great." I roll my eyes at him but he only leans in to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. 

"And be nice to your mother, okay? I know she can be a pain in the ass but she's going to be busy with work anyhow so I'm sure she'll stay out of your hair." I twirl the ends of my hair at the mention of it and suddenly wonder how I would look if it were shorter. 

"Enjoy your trip. Nevada is beautiful this time around," I quietly mutter.

"I'll try to." And with that my father slips behind the door and I'm left alone again, only with no wine this time to numb whatever roller-coaster my emotions plan to take me on today.

H a r r y 

"I've been craving pickles lately. It's weird because I used to hate them before I was pregnant," Mickey rambles to my mother, who nods in agreement. She rubs small circles over her baby bump and I have to look away before memories of us sleeping together pile into my mind and make me vomit everywhere. She's about four months into the pregnancy but looks like she is six.

"When I was pregnant with Harold, I would crave crab legs and garlic sauce all day. Every time I smell it now I want to gag," I know my mother is trying to be polite here but I see right through her. I want to go back to my apartment and smoke until I can't tell left from right. 

"Harold, would you like chips and dip?"

I settle more into the couch and pretend as if I can't hear her. 

"I believe mum is talking to you Harry," Liam smiles, facing his own bowl of chips and dip as he speaks. I can't stand this juvenile ass little boy.