Sex Lessons [h.s// fanfic]

Chapter 93

S t e l l a

I hold my breath as I strap on my seat belt and wait for Harry to start the engine. The tears stopped flowing as soon as Harry's eyes found mine, only because I have no valid explanation as to why as I was crying over Niall just then. Why did I cry? Maybe because I miss my ex-bestfriend. Maybe. Or, I feel like I am a terrible person and friend to someone who has been there for me when I had absolutely nobody. My pity tears are rightfully justified.

"We're going to your father's house." Harry quietly says. His face is neutral, a little too neutral for me to feel comfortable.

"Okay." I squeak. He pulls onto the road and quietly taps his fingers against the wheel. Guilt fills me as his deep sigh disrupts the silence in the car.

"I'm..I'm sorry, I.." What am I apologizing for? I feel pathetic and small, so small. Harry shakes his head and meets my eyes for a second before tearing his gaze away.

"Trust me. I get it. I really do. More than you think I do," My puzzled expression prompts him to continue. "I know you have feelings for Niall. I know you love him and that he has some type of fucking grip on your heart but I'm not even upset Stella," There is a clear venom is his voice that suggests otherwise.

"That isn't true," I frown, trying to convince myself that Harry is only babbling.

"Isn't it though? That's why you were crying. Because you love him," He spits, and grips the wheel. His knuckles turn white and I gulp.

"I was crying because I've been a terrible friend to him! Nothing, nothing else." I stammer, biting back tears. Thinking about my crumbled relationship with Niall makes my chest ache. How could I abandon someone I know would never abandon me?

Harry laughs but it is disingenuous, "I wish I could believe you."

"Just like I wish I could believe that you are completely done with Mickey," A fresh tear has managed to escape my eye and I wipe it away quickly before Harry can call me out on it. "You still love her and you know it."

"I absolutely hate that whore," He frowns but the facial expression does't meet his eyes. "She's having a baby with my stepbrother Stella, for God's sake."

"And what if she wasn't having a baby with Liam? Would you love her then?"

Harry rolls his eyes and cranks on the radio, drowning me out as I begin to tell him how he is proving my point by avoiding my question.

We both avoid talking until the car rolls to a stop in my parents' drive way. I fumble with the door handle until I realize it is locked and déjà vu fills me when Harry tells me, "It's locked, I have to unlock it first."

Harry seems to remember the old memory as our eyes meet and offers me a limp smile to which I return along with a small sigh. The minimal tension between us dissolves seemingly, and a weight on my chest lifts then returns when the door opens before we reach it.

I don't expect my mother to greet me with a warm hug and a hello, but I certainly did not expect her to be looking at me like I am not even her daughter. My stomach twists as she scowls at Harry and I. Harry stands away from her with his hand stuffed in his pockets.

"Where the hell have you been?" My mothers eyes tear away from mine to Harry, she sizes him up decently but Harry doesn't notice. That or he just doesn't care. She storms onto the expensive pavement wearing a yellow dress, it is bright and nearly hides her small "baby bump." Her heels echo with an annoying tap on the ground as she folds her arms across her small bust.

"Not here," I roll my eyes at her and attempt to walk past her but her tiny hand grips my forearm, stopping me. Harry tenses beside me. Actions like these must trigger such poor memories for him. I snatch my arm away from my mother and she stares at me as if I have two heads.