"i don't have much to give
but i don't care for gold
what use is money
when you need
someone to hold?
don't have direction
i'm just rolling
down this road
waiting for you
to bring me in
from out the cold"
patrick was with brendon.
high school sweethearts turned dream couple
they were the embodiment of the picture perfect relationship
the cop; the teacher; the soccer-playing son; and the ballet-dancing daughter.
(their names were declan and ruby. patrick would do anything for them).
pete was single.
he always would be, he knew
he was demanding
childish
immature
and in love with patrick vaugn urie.
"you'll never know
the endless nights
the rhyming of the rain
or how it feels
to fall behind
and watch you
call his name"
pete was the irresponsible friend
he was the one that needed picking up from bars at ass o'clock
it was usually patrick
patrick loved pete
but not the way he wanted
platonic
friendship
where pete was head over heels and drowning
patrick was dipping his toes in
and keeping at a comfortable distance.
"pack up
and leave everything
don't you see
what i can bring
can't keep
this beating heart
at bay
set my midnight
sorrow free,
i will give you
all of me
just leave your lover
leave him for me
leave your lover
leave him
for me"
pete loved him more than anything
his love for him was incredible
certainly more
than what brendon
could ever
or so it seemed
"we sit in bars
and raise our drinks
to growing old
oh
i'm in love with you
and you
will never know
but if i
can't have you
i want
this life alone
spare you
the rising storms
and let
the rivers flow"
pete had a love-hate relationship with alcohol.
he loved it; it dampened his thoughts and the rushing of his mind and made him feel okay for once. it numbed the snow flurry of his thoughts and feelings.
yet afterwards he hated himself because it was his worst enemy; his schoolyard bully; his arch nemesis.
it ruined him.
"you'll never know
the endless nights
the rhyming of the rain
or how it feels
to fall behind
and watch you
call his name"
his lips flurry against patrick's as the two exchange hearts and rings
marriage, as brendon hadn't ceased to prattle on about, was the most important part of a relationship.
bullshit
pete just wants patrick, simple as that
patrick's heart may be occupied where pete's is open
but for patrick, pete is willing to sacrifice it all
including himself
"pack up
and leave everything
don't you see
what i can bring
can't keep
this beating heart
at bay
set my midnight
sorrow free,
i will give you
all of me
just leave your lover
leave him for me
leave your lover
leave him
for me"
he whispers apologies against pete's skin as he holds his dying form close
pete didn't make the morning after party.
no, instead he put a bullet in his stomach and left the gun with one bullet left and a note with three words.
leave your lover.
patrick's crying but it feels vacant and forced.
as if he doesn't mean it
he probably doesn't.
"just friends" after all
pete's bleeding out and he knows he won't make it
he's trying to survive but the burning pain overtakes all else; his brain is fumbling but he barely notices
patrick picks up the gun
it feels foreign in his hands; black steel unfamiliarly cold, contrasting sharp against his pale hands.
he takes a deep breath, before raising it to his throat.
bang.
"leave your lover
leave him for me
leave your lover
leave him
for me"
-
