High Hopes

Eighteen - No Underwear

"You." 

I instantly regret the words once they come out of my mouth. It just shows I'm vulnerable right now. I'm supposed to show that I am strong, but I'm not.

"I'm sorry." Gabe takes my hand and I stare at it. I don't know what to say or do right now.

"Where's your date?" I ask him, pulling my hand out of his.

"It doesn't matter. I think we're done." Gabe looks out the window beside my bed.

"What else is new? It's a different girl every other day lately." I say, putting down the mug of coffee.

"Alyssa." Gabe turns to me with tears in his eyes.

"What?" I barely whisper.

Gabe leans forward and connects our lips. I lay back and he gets on top of me. He starts to kiss lower until I stop him.

"Gabe." I sit up.

It's not that I don't want this to happen, it's that he's going to act like it never did. Gabe will go off and find someone else, forgetting about me or my feelings. It's just going to hurt me more than I will like it.

"What?" He sits up.

"I think you should go. We have school tomorrow." I avoid his eye contact as he gets up and walks out my bedroom door.

I'm not even going to change. I pull the covers over me and close my eyes.

''''''''''

A new day. Third day of senior year. I don't know what's going to be said about Jesse and I, but I'm mentally prepared.

I pull on some white shorts and an orange lacrosse sweatshirt. To say I'm fine would be exaggerating a bit. I don't even want to try today. I put foundation on and mascara to cover the bags under my eyes. I slip on some Nike socks past my ankles and slip into my sneakers. It's 6:50. I'm going to be late if I don't hurry. I grab my backpack and run down the stairs.

"Bye Matilda." I yell before I leave and go straight to my car.

The drive was shorter than likable and I parked in the front. When I get out, people are already staring at me. I ignore them and go to my locker so I can switch out my books. Gabe's crowd is still across the hall and Jesse is with them. He winks at me when I look over at them. I sigh and slam my locker shut. This is going to be a tough day. Their whole crowd walks over to me with Gabe trailing behind.

"So how you doing baby?" Ryan touches my face.

"Don't touch me." I swat his hand away and cross my arms. "What do you all want?"

"Oh I told them how good you were. People are probably going to want you now, they didn't before." Jesse smirks.

I put my bag over my shoulder and push through them all, to my first class. I don't want to deal with any of this. I haven't seen Kayla or Kendra, but then again, I'm late.

I sit down at my regular desk and sigh, the bell hasn't rung yet. Maybe Gabe and his friends would like to be late, but if I want a good college, I need to be on time and ready.

The bell rings and the two walk in. Gabe takes the seat up front and Jesse is next to me.

"How about we hook up again right now?" He breathes into my ear.

"No." I whisper back and try to focus on the board.

"You know, it would be okay. I wouldn't tell right away." He smirks and plays with my hair.

"Stop." I raise my voice a little, causing the person in front of me to turn around.

"Is everything okay back there?" Mr. Hendrons asks Jesse and I.