A Thought

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Luke

The minute the words left her mouth I felt so many different emotions I didn't know how to handle it. Literally my body didn't know how to handle it. I didn't realize I had let her go. It was a good thing I did though because I fell back on to my butt. Was she really asking me to do what I think she was asking me to do? He was my best friend. True he could be a pain in the ass at times, but that was something I had just come to expect. Aren't we all pains in the ass at one point or another? And why such extremes?

"Luke are you ok?" She asks. It was so calm. Like she had just asked me to pass the salt, not kill my best friend.

"Umm....No. No I don't think I am." I said shaking my head. I couldn't look at her. For the first time since the moment I met her I couldn't look at her.

"Luke....I just....I don't know what to do." Kelly said sitting down in front of me. Again I look away. "Look at me."

"I can't."

"Why not?" She asked. I felt an ache in my stomach.

"Because honestly I hate you right now. You have done some pretty fucked up things before but this is beyond anything I can comprehend." I said.

"I'm stupid. I say stupid things. Just forget it." She said reaching out and touching my wrist. I was disgusted and after a minute I moved it away.

"The fact that you could think like that. The fact that you could rid yourself of someone so easily because they made your life complicated, I can't fathom that. I can't see myself with someone like that." I said standing up.

"You're leaving me!" She said loudly.

"I would have moved heaven and earth for you. I would have walked this earth ten times over. But the fact that you could just throw someone I love away like that. Like they are garbage. That shows me, that you would never do the same thing for me. You might love me. But you will never love me like I love you." I said finally looking at her. I could see the tears in her eyes, I'm sure my heart hurt like heal but I was too numb to actually feel it.

I had heard somewhere that sometimes the people you love hurt you the most. Never had anything been more true than right now.

"Where are you going?" She said as I turned away from her. I could hear her sniffle. She was crying now.

"I need to go be with my best friend." I said.

The thing of it was, Calum had never really been a fan of Kelly. He knew our entire story. From the beginning up until when we joined the experiment and I was gone. But he respected how I felt for her. He didn't have to like it but he did have to respect it. And he did. He never bad mouthed her. At least not to me. But it had always been obvious he wasn't a fan. From the first time we all hung out.

Kelly was late. It was something I had gotten use to. But Calum wasn't always patient. Well he never really was. But he was really impatient because we were supposed to go to a show. It was a band he really liked so he wanted to get there early. He wanted to check out the merch tables and what not. It was suppose to be a guy's night. He had told that to Talia. So when I informed him the night before that I had decided to bring Kelly he was less than enthused. I guess looking back on it I sort of set her up to fail in his book. I probably should have told her to show up 45 minutes before the actual show then we would have actually been on time. Actually to be fair I probably should have just not invited her. I did that a lot back before we were here. We both did at some point. We got so consumed in our relationships and our separate lives that we forgot about our friendship and putting it first sometimes. Maybe I could have prevented what happened between him and Marissa. Maybe he could have talked me out of loving her and we wouldn't even been here right now. Who am I kidding? We both couldn't have done that if we tried. We all have secrets and things we can't control.

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