B.E. Imagines 2.0

Goodbye Billie

A/N- this most definitely sucks because I wrote this at 6:30 am with no sleep! yay! but anyways this was inspired by Miss Nectarine by Ashnikko. Love you.

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It was my fourteenth birthday; I chose to celebrate it at the pool. The hot summer day had us all jumping in the pool. Chlorine in my hair, making it a bit heavier on my head as I laughed and swam with my friends. All of our parent's inside, gossiping about who knows what.

Billie swims over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. Pulling me into a tight hug, I blushed as I wrapped my arms around her neck. "Happy birthday." She whispered; nobody was paying attention to us. Which gave us the comfort to do this.

Both of our families aren't very fond of homosexuality. So, we both know that if they saw us, even in a hug as intimate as this, they wouldn't be very fond of it. It was almost like my house didn't feel safe when I was alone with Billie. The only thing that would mostly run through my head was how her lips would feel, what it would be like to kiss her. But I shrug it off like always.

"Thank you." I said, smiling as I wrapped my legs around her waist. 

She pulled away and so do I as we hear the sliding door unlock. She dunked me under the water unexpectedly and I quickly lifted my head back up. Gasping for air as I glared at her, but she just laughed at me.  "Fuck you." I said, dunking her next. She gasped, her head going under water, and she came up with a choking cough. 

"Bitch." She splashed water on me, and I laughed, returning the act. She rolled her eyes, swimming away and making sure to splash me with her feet.  

As I watched Billie swim, I couldn't really understand what I was feeling for her, what I was always feeling for her. In a way, scared to find out what I'm feeling. 

Hours later, everyone has gone home except for Billie and her family. Our parents were downstairs, talking and probably drinking wine. And our brothers were probably in my brother's room playing some sort of video game.

 Me and Billie were in my room, on my bed, side by side. Her phone in her hand as we laugh at stupid tweets and countless memes on Twitter and other social media apps. Her arm around my shoulders as I lean into her.

But truly, I'm not all the way here. My mind is thinking about something else. Thinking about having my lips on hers. What it would feel like, how good she would taste. Trying to find an excuse to get what I want. A reason, something to make her kiss me. 

And then I get the perfect idea, managing the courage to bring it up. 

I sit up, reaching for her phone which she gives to me. I turn the phone off, looking at her as she looks at me, confused. I sigh, trying to get my tongue to know the words I want to say. 

And then I say it, "um, I was thinking... we're going to start high school in August. And we're both going to date boys, but I have no idea how to kiss. So, I was just, like... thinking that we could, y'know, practice on each other?" I nervously rant, my face going bright.

Her face turns to a shade of red, her eyes locking onto mine. She stays silent, making me nervous for her response as she takes my question in. "Well, I guess... we could... I mean why not?" She finally says, agreeing to my idea.

I move to sit in front of her, crossing my legs, looking into her eyes. She sits up and looks into my eyes, crossing her legs and smiling at me. "You're really okay with this?" I ask and she nods, licking her lips as her eyes flicker from my eyes to my lips and back again.

As she places her hand on my cheek, I feel a mixture of emotions that I can't quite describe. She looks into my eyes, leaning in closer. A soft smile on her face as her eyes once again flicker from my lips to my eyes. Then a soft whisper escapes her lips, "ready?"

I blush, nodding as I lean into her. "I-I'm ready." I say in a soft whisper, biting my lower lip as she leans even closer to me. Her lips meet mine in a soft kiss, and my cheeks feel hot as I kiss her back. I always imagined my first kiss to be with my best friend, even if we both knew how wrong this was.

She pulls me in, her hand on the back of my neck. Holding me in place. 

And as she kisses me, it feels like my entire body was on fire. I could feel every inch of my body beginning to shake and tremble as the excitement and adrenaline took over.

My hands stayed behind my back; I wasn't sure what to do with them. To place them on her cheeks? Her face? Her chest? Her waist? I wasn't sure, I had no idea where. 

Then she pulls away, looking into my eyes. As if waiting for my next move. But I just stare into her eyes, my mind foggy as I try and catch my breath. My heart is beating so fast, it feels like it might just pop out of my chest.

My mind filled with so many questions that I don't know the answer to. Like should I kiss her and keep this going? Will she hate me or be grossed out if I continue to kiss her? And I just stare into her eyes, trying to figure out what she wants me to do.

She looks straight back into mine, her hand still rested on the back of my neck, still waiting for my next move. And I hesitate for a couple of moments, trying to get the courage to go in for the second kiss. Finally, leaning back in to kiss her. My hands reaching to the back of her neck, just like hers was on mine. 

And then I just go for it, placing my lips on hers. Kissing her softly and slowly. My hunger being fed as we both smile into the kiss. Our kiss is slow, slowly turning into a French kiss which lasts for a long while. Becoming more heated by the second. 

And she pulls away, taking a breath of air like she's under water. She quickly kisses me again and I place a hand on her cheek. As we continue, it finally hits me that this is real. That I was really making out with her. And I couldn't describe how it felt now that my fantasies had finally become something real.

After a couple of moments, I pull away from your kiss as well to catch my breath. Looking at her with a smile as my eyes explore hers. She smiles at me and I feel like all of dreams had become a reality. "Holy..." Is all I manage to whisper before I lean back in, kissing her lips again.

She places her hands on my hips and I smirk, placing a hand on her chest as I move to straddle her waist. Still kissing her lips, but it's a lot hungrier than before. 

I can't describe the feeling to anyone if I tried but it was almost as though my body was melting.

I feel my heart beating fast, my mind rushing with adrenaline and my entire body starting to tremble. I keep on kissing her back, her hands starting to move up my torso towards my chest. As the kissing starts to get even more heated, I move my hands to her jawline and let out a small moan. 

But we're quickly interrupted, my room door bursting open and someone walking in. I pull away and jump off of her lap. Looking towards my father as he glared at us both. Disgust in his look. 

And there it was, the end of my fantasy. All of it coming to an end. Being crushed into a worthless dream once more as I knew what was coming next. Our moment was simply ruined by my father, his gaze locked on us.

I know he's disgusted, it's clear on his face. Anger written all over him.

And soon, my mother was called into the room. Then Billie's parents who pulled her and her brother out of my house, my parents yelled at me for hours on end about how wrong it was. Praying over me to try and scare my gay away.

But during the kiss, it had all clicked. 

They're attempts were pointless. 

I suppose they saw that. 

So the next week, our house was packed. Everything.

On my last day in LA, I met up with Billie. Confessing everything I felt for her as I knew I would never see her again. And we cried in each other's arms. 

She had felt the same. 

She had always felt the same. 

But now, we both knew it was too late. We both knew we would never see each other again. And before I left the abandoned building, I kissed her for the last time. Whispering a small "I love you" as I ran out of the building. 

And on the drive out of the city, I looked back at it. A sick feeling in my stomach as a tear streamed down my face. 

"Goodbye Billie."