Shawn
That morning I woke up Marlon was gone, I used mouth wash and washed my hands before touching our daughter . She woke up with the biggest smile on her face and carried that with her thought the day, she made me feel better about the uncertainty I have in my mind . I don't know about how Marlon feels about what we did last night, I honestly thought we would never have sex with each other again it was worth the try . If this doesn't work then at least it was a great good bye . I managed to get my job back at the golf course I was working at before I moved, when I save enough money to obtain an apartment I'm out . Living with Marlon wasn't always the option, I'm only here so he could be with his daughter . Now that I'm back in California I can't take Marvella away from him by moving back to New York, she needs to see him and she definitely needs her in his life .
I took a quick shower while Marvella was asleep, when I got out and dressed myself I just looked at her . She was so peaceful napping, not having to deal with the shit I have on my mind . Not having to worry about if the man she's involved with loves her as much as she does him, her only hard decisions are soon to be what color crayon to choose . I've been on my toes with the way I been acting, even though Marvella can't see or doesn't know what I've been doing . I still want to watch my behavior, I'd say since I been in California I been pretty damn good . Yes, I went out but I didn't get drunk . I had a bit to drink but it wasn't as much as I like, besides that thought I'm still proud of myself for how I acted . Even though Marlon gave me a problem about it, I'm still proud for how I carried myself and I'm not ashamed of how it dressed . I was appropriate for the night, he just always has something to say about me . When he came home my heart pounded, Marvella had just fallen asleep and I knew this perfect for us to talk .
"How was work ?" I started up
"Productive as usual, how was my baby ?"
"Beautiful as usual, I think we should talk ."
"Nothing to discuss, I can sense you getting ready to break a house rule ."
"Marlon, come on you know we need to talk about last night ."
"You mean when you broke a rule last night, now you about to break another one ."
"Marlon I'm serious, I know you don't want to discuss it but it needs to be discussed . We had sex last night, I want to know what you thought about it ."
"Same as the numerous times we had sex, quick and steady ."
I sighed "Can you honestly answer ."
"What Shawn what, it is what it is you did what you love to do ."
"I made love to you that's exactly what I did, at least what I was trying to make you believe ."
"Why are you talking about this ?"
"Cause I want to know if last night meant anything to you, do I still mean anything to you ? Did last night cause you to miss what we had and make you think about what we can still have ? That's why we're talking about this, I want to know that I mean something to you ."
"You don't . Last night was nothing, I told once and I'll tell you again . I do not want you, I'm trying to be friendly to your ass but it's not working . You are nothing but my baby momma and that's all you're going to be, appreciate the ass wasn't expecting that shit at all . Sorry to hurt your feelings cause you know you about to walk out the house and cry, I don't want to be with you . I never will be able to be with you, I don't want to be with you . Your life is not the life I'm trying to live with, we spent our whole lives together with me taking care of you . I'm not doing it anymore, find another Superman ."
