Marlon
I'm not here to talk about anything else with that girl, I'm just here to get my time in with my daughter and that's it . I'm living in three days so I need to get as much in as I can, my life in California don't stop because she's born . I'm trying to figure out the things I'm going to have to change to be in her life, one thing I will not do is live in this cold ass pact city . Give me my hot ass weather and palm trees, Shawn going to have to do something cause I'm not coming back . I want my daughter in my life but I still have to do my own thing and survive on my own, I need to establish a life for myself so I can give her a better life . I'm trying to get used to the fact that I have a child and Shawn want to bitch and complain about us, I don't want to hear that shit .
"Calm down kid, I'm here ." I said walking to Marvella's crib as she cried
I can't say the word daddy for some reason when I talk to her, it's unreal that I am a farther and right now I just don't feel comfortable saying it .
"What are you crying for now, I just fed you ?" I picked up her, soon as she was in my arms she settled down "You need to go to sleep, nothing is wrong with you . You not wet either, so just close those eyes ." I said putting her back down in the keep putting her pacifier in, she started crying again "You're killing me, why the hell your moms ain't in here doing this ." I said picking her up and sitting in the rocking chair with her
"She okay ?" Shawn popped in
"If you heard her crying why didn't you come in here and do this ?"
"You're sitting right on the couch, you won't be here later so you do some shit ."
"Just the hell out I got it now and watch your mouth around my daughter ."
"She wasn't you fucking daughter all those 9 months I carried her ." she said catching attitude
"Shawn, I swear to God . . . Just get the fuck out of here, damn ." I said trying to silence the F-Word
She slammed Marvella's room door close and walked out, Marvella's little body jumped at the sound .
"I should have used a condom, never trust hoes man I swear . Please, please, please, for me . Don't grow up and be like her, I love you but I promise you I won't be here to watch you destroy yourself for some pointless nigga or niggas in your moms case . Maybe I should just pack up and take you with me, you don't need to be around this negativity . If you grow up to be a hoe without me there to guide you in a different direction I will disown you, ain't no way in hell no kids of mine will be running the streets doing nasty things . I know you'll need her in your life but I think it's best if you come to live with me, it's best you grow up around me so I can give you things she can't ."
Marvella didn't make a fuss after I rocked in the rocking chair with her, she just wanted somebody to hold her . I was thinking a lot about what I said, maybe I should have a custody battle with her . All I seen Shawn do since giving birth was sleep, eat, and bitch . Marvella could be screaming her lungs out 2 feet away from her and she won't pick her up to see what's wrong, I've took care of my daughter 100% of the time since I been here . When Marvella wakes up in the middle of the night Shawn doesn't get up at all, but her ass gets up the minute I have her in my hand . Shawn hasn't done shit for Marvella, if I wasn't here Marvella would probably be up to her neck in piss and hungry while Shawn is sitting on her ass waiting for somebody else to tend to her . I'm not having that shit I need to get my daughter's life in order, she ain't staying here .
"Shawn, you hear Marvella crying don't you ?" her own mother said
"Marlon's got her ."
While she said that I was already walking into Marvella's room, exactly what I'm talking about . No, this isn't going down anymore .
"Give her here Marlon, she needs some of Grandma's love ." she said as I past her over "I'm not here during the day so I don't know what you all go through, fill me in ."
"Ms. Price, no disrespect but your daughter has issues that I can't support . Before she was born I tried being in a relationship with her, it was good in the beginning I really missed her and had a lot of feelings for her but you know her better than I do . You know the stories about her life and what's she been through, I can't handle that . I do not and will not ever trust her in my life, she told me that she was on birth control and I didn't need a condom . I wish I could have used one anyway then maybe I wouldn't be in this mess, I didn't believe that Marvella was mine because she flipped the script saying an abortion she had before Doctors told her she wouldn't be able to have kids . How you can you go from one story to another, I love my daughter but I can't love Shawn . I know you won't like this but I'm going to fight for custody, I don't think my daughter should be here with her ."
"Marlon, Marlon . I can't tell you what you can't and can do cause you'll just do it anyway . 9 out of 10 the courts are just going to rule you both with joint custody, they're going to say it's in the best interest she stays with the mother ."
"That's bias ."
"It is what it is, Marvella was just born . Shawn can straighten up, you won't win this ."
"Whether or not I win or not, something going to change ."
Shawn and I didn't once talk about us, but before I left I decided to tell her what my plans are .
"I'm trying to sit down like an adult and talk to you, there isn't now will there ever be a future for us . I don't want to deal with you and I don't want our daughter to have to deal with your bullshit either, when I get back home I'm filing for custody papers . Marvella isn't getting taken care of here, she needs me in her life anyway ."
"No, no, hell no Marlon you're not taking my daughter away from me . Just a couple of months ago you were telling me how bad you wanted me to lose her, no fuck that you're not taking her away from me ."
"I want her now, you don't do shit for her . You too fucked up in the head to raise a kid, you barely touched her since she's been born . Too busy trying to get at my ass to feed or change your own damn daughter ."
"Marlon please, don't be this way don't take her from me I do take care of her . You know how much she needs me, you know I much I need her, and you know what she means to me . Don't be a dick, please don't take my daughter away ." she said getting on her knees
"That's a position you're familiar with, you can stop all that crying and begging . I don't care Shawn, we going to put this in the the courts hands and see what they think about it . Try me to see if I'm lying I already got my proof that you don't do shit, why you sat on your ass waiting for me or your moms to do something I took pictures of you doing nothing while Marvella sat in the damn crib crying for a bottle or to be changed . I made a feeding chart of the times I fed her and how much she ate, also a chart showing you didn't even check how much she need and you know that shit is important for her first doctors appointment . I've done my shit, I'm finished . Marvella won't be staying here for long,
"Marlon, don't do this shit please ."
"I got a flight to catch ."
Before I left I held my daughter in my arms one last time "Don't worry, daddy is coming back for you . I promise ." I said kissing her little nose, soon as I put her down she started crying . I put the pacifier in her mouth, she didn't want it
Shawn tugged on my arm as I tried to walk out "Marlon, we can talk about this you don't need to do this ."
"Get off of me, obviously I do need to do this because she's still crying right now and you still ain't doing shit about it . Go see what she wants and stop worrying about me ."
"Marlon, Marlon, Marlon !" she called after me but I left getting in the taxi
