Shawn
Marvella definitely has made me into a better woman, I been reading parenting books for months . Taking pictures of my belly just to see changes I've made, I get sentimental when ever I glance at myself because it's still a shocker to me that I'm even pregnant . Doctor told me that they scheduled me a C-Section in two weeks just to cut back on the risk, I managed to carry my baby to full terms and thank the stars for that everyday . I've told Marlon every way possible whether it was by call, text, voicemail, letter, whatever I could think of to let him know when she's going to arrive . It's up to him if he wants to change everything, I would love for him to be here but if he don't want to then I can't force him . Fact of the matter is I'm happy, I'll do anything to make my daughter happy as well . I'm going to do all I can to be better than my mother was to me, with that being said I don't have to do a lot but I still want to be good enough for her to say when she grows up that her mother was her biggest influence . Only problem when she gets older is she'll look me in the eye and say Mommy, when I grow up I want to be just like you .
No, she can never be just like me cause I won't let her . Anything and everything she does she will always be better than me, I won't let her think that life is skittles and gum drops . It's some people out there that want to hurt you, I'm going to protect her from those people . I can see it now that if I shelter her too much she'll rebel, I need to allow her to make mistakes just not the same as mine .
"This room is beautiful ." my mom said as we looked inside Marvella's room
"I can't wait to see her in it, won't be that long ."
"Don't slack off, you can't make mistakes . This kid is going to learn everything from you, be wise ."
"I know, she'll be smarter than me and her daddy . . . Do you think he'll make it ?"
"Never depend on a man for anything ."
I sat in the rocking chair "He knows I'm going in for a C-section, I don't understand why can't he just be here even if he has doubt he should be here ."
"If you don't care then why are still talking about it ?"
"I want her to have her father ."
"That's too damn bad, he's not going to come around . How about giving her a mother first, be that before you go boo hoo about Marlon ."
"It's not fair, I didn't make her by myself ."
"You are going to raise her by yourself, women do it every day what makes you so different ?"
"She has the opportunity to have him around ."
"Many of girls do, now what's your point ? You don't get it, just cause you made a baby don't mean you made a man out of the boy you created this child with ."
"I just want to live with knowing I tired ."
"You tired, try to focus on her . Don't give him the satisfaction ."
The days leading up to the C section left me feeling butterflies, even with the C-Section I was still feeling pre labor contractions . The morning of Marvella's arrival I couldn't sleep, I was so excited to meet my baby girl . I couldn't even eat anything the previous night, I was so hungry when I woke up I was tempted to eat but I wasn't going to be stupid . My mother drove me to hospital, I changed into their gown and got ready for the procedure . I cried a bit sitting through it alone, but my mother is right I can't make Marlon step forth he has to become a man when he's ready .
"Let's get this baby out shall we ?"
"Excuse me Dr. sorry to interrupt but someone out there is claiming to be the father, should I let him in ?"
"Bring him in for a second ."
"What the hell ?" I said
"Is that him Ma'am ?"
"Ye - yes ."
Marlon
Only reason I'm here is because of my mother, I told her about Shawn being pregnant . When she asked me about what I planned to do about it I answered nothing, she bought us plane tickets and made me come down here . My mom thought it would give her the satisfaction that I came without telling Shawn just to surprise her, I just need to get this DNA test over so I can go home .
I sat beside Shawn while they cut her open, when they got Marvella out and cleaned her up I was the first to hold her and show her to Shawn since she couldn't move, I can't lie I don't even know if this kid is mine but I cried . When the DNA came in I hoped she wasn't mine but she was, I cried even harder then .
"I'm glad you came, you can't see it either but she's glad too ."
"She definitely looks like me, how the hell did this happen ?"
"Everything I told you was true, we were just being careless by what happen to me I 100% didn't think this would happen ."
"Technically this is your second kid ?"
"Yeah ." I said in a soft tone
Marvella began to cry "This a sound I'll need to get used too ."
"Can I feed her ?" he asked
"She's your daughter Marlon, sure you can ."
He picked her up from my arms and began to feed her the bottle he stopped for a minute and cried again, I still couldn't believe he's here .
"Are you signing the birth certificate ?"
"It's 98.9 % percent proven I'm the dad, why wouldn't I ?"
"Knowing you you'll purposely leave here without doing it, you knew all along it was you baby didn't you ?"
"It was a 50/50 notion I held on to, those sonogram are still right next to my dresser . I look at them almost every night ."
"Why didn't you call ? Why didn't you answer ?" I said as my voice cracked
"Shawn don't start this shit now ."
"You don't care, you just don't fucking care how you made me feel . I would never do some fucked up shit to you, I told you from the jump I wasn't fucking anybody but you . I showed you papers that I was clean from any sexual disease, I changed my life around for you, YOU ."
"You want an apology ? Cause it won't be sincere, I'm here like you wanted me too ."
"I want you to love me like I do you, I want to make this work ."
"This baby can't fix shit between us, we got too much going on now to think about that . We need to focus on her then move to us, I need to think about what the fuck I'm going to do with myself before I even think about you ."
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Epilogue is coming soon, just saying .
