The Impeccable Scar | COMPLETED ✓

F O U R T Y - O N E

VANYA

He looked at my face and then nodded. "Are you taking your medicines on time?"

I scratched the back of my head. Seriously?

He has no idea about it, right?

"Do you know what androgen is?" I asked.

He thought for few seconds before he mouthed no.

I wish along with Down syndrome, Biology textbook also highlighted Androgen insensitivity syndrome but then again not everyone opts for biology.

"Advik, listen to me carefully please."

"I am." He assured.

I took a deep breath. "I am different from you all."

"I know that." He smiled.

What's with him today?

"I am genetically different from you all."

"I was never good at biology. Please, tell me in human language." He smiled, again.

This was harder than I thought. How I am going to explain everything? I wish he already knew about the syndrome. It would've been easier for me to tell him about me instead of explaining every single detail.

"I was genetically a male but due to insufficient androgen hormone, I have a complete phenotype of female. I don't have uterus and...." But before I could complete my sentence, he burst into fits of laughter.

"You are too good at cracking jokes." He laughed.

I frowned. I am not cracking jokes. This is my truth.

After not getting any reaction from me, he blinked in confusion. His laughter died as he watched my face intently.

"Tell me it was a joke." He said but his voice was more like he was pleading.

"No. It wasn't."

"What the fuck?" He raised his voice and pulled his hand from my hold as if he was disgusted from me.

After maintaining a breathable distance, he threw the ice cream aside. His facial expression told me everything. He was not going to accept me. We're not going to have any future and maybe we're not meant to be.

"Damn it, I fucking kissed you." He whispered, getting nauseous.

I pushed the saliva down my throat as tears gathered in my eyelids.

"I am not disgusting, Advik." I said.

He clicked his tongue and gestured me to not say a thing.

"Why you lied to me?" He asked.

"I didn't. I am still the same girl." I replied.

"Shut up. Don't you fucking dare to mess with me again."

And how easily from someone he kissed before, now I became the person he despises most.

That's human nature, isn't it? We hate things which are far from our beliefs. Now all of sudden he started hating me just because I don't fit in the boxes of his knowledge and belief. He doesn't even know about androgens but still he thinks that I am someone to be disrespected and despised?

Tears streamed down my face but I didn't try to stop them. My heart constricted and all the moments I spent with him flashed in the back of my head. My feelings for him were pure. I really liked him from the bottom of my heart after all he was the first person whom I offered my heart but all he did was to crush it into pieces.

I don't want to blame him but what about my feelings? The sharp pain that clenched my heart was hard to ignore. Once again, I want to be in his arms, I want to hear his soothing voice reciting poetry for me, I want to watch sunrise with him, I want our coffee dates, I want Advik....I love him.

I stilled.

I love him, don't I?

And the realization made the situation worse.