tidal wave | rafe cameron

fifteen

"callie," a voice speaks.

i can't tell if i'm awake or if this is a nightmare.

"callie," i hear again, "wake up."

only this time, my body is shaken.  my eyes refuse to open, though my limbs stretch out as i groan and roll around in an in-between of being awake and asleep.

my head is pounding, my mouth is dry, and i'm still in my clothes from last night.  clearly, i'm no stranger to partying, but even i'll admit this is a problem. 

kiara hovers above me with a worried expression as my eyes finally peel open.  she must have slept over last night.

"sorry to wake you, but it's almost 2:30 and i had to make sure you weren't dead," she explains.

i groan and turn over, covering my face with my blanket.  kie rips the blanket off of me and puts her hands on her hips.

"what?" i rub my eyes.

"i don't know if you even remember last night, but if you did, we have to talk about it."

"i don't want to," i reply, trying to erase the thoughts of everything that happened the night prior.

everything is ruined.

"cal, i'm not letting you pretend like none of this matters."

"please," i beg, "just let me forget about it."

"you made out with one of your best friends, callie.  i don't think any of us are gonna be able to forget about that," she sighs as she gets into bed next to me.

"someone just kill me," i turn my back to her and roll over.

"look, if you don't wanna talk about jj, that's okay for right now.  i mean, watching you too make out was insanely weird.  but while i don't know what's going on with rafe, i know he means something to you and i know what he did last night hurt you in some way."

i sigh but i don't turn around.  i don't face her.  i can't.  i know she's right, i know she knows what's best for me right now.  but truly, there are too many things racing through my head at one time and if anything, i wish i could just disappear.

i wish i didn't care about stupid rafe and his stupid coke habits and his stupid smile and his stupid life.  i wish i didn't care about revenge and jealousy and presenting myself as if i'm untouchable and nobody can hurt me.

everything is fucked up now.  i have to talk to jj at least, we owe each other that.  but honestly, from the bottom of my heart, i hope i never see rafe again.