tidal wave | rafe cameron

four

i lay in bed, my eyes glued to the ceiling. it was past three and yet i couldn't sleep even if i tried.

i made out with rafe cameron.

the same boy who i saw doing coke just last night. the same boy who i've known for years. the same boy who's only communication with me was thirsty comments. and while i know i should regret it, i don't.

i made a deal, i fulfilled my end. i enjoyed myself. i'm a firm believer in "you only live once," no matter how corny it may sound. i'm down to do almost anything.

however, there were some thoughts in the back of my mind. what would happen if sarah found out? if my dad found out? if my friends found out?

after all this thinking, i decided to move to another mystery; why sarah was lying.

i couldn't figure it out. i know sarah's past with relationships and cheating, meaning it wasn't completely unlikely that she had met someone else, but who? she tells me everything, why would she need to lie about this?

the stress of thinking about it made my mind finally run tired, as my eyes fluttered shut and sleep finally took over my body.

the next morning, i woke up to my phone buzzing against my nightstand.

"hello?" i say, rubbing my eyes.

"callie! we're coming by on the boat, be ready in twenty," i hear jj's voice on the other end.

"okay," i agree, not having much time to think before jj hangs up.

i throw the covers off of my body and sit up too quick, causing my vision to go blurry. i shuffle to my bathroom, examining my tired reflection in the mirror. after tying my hair into a messy bun, i applied sunscreen to my body.

i wore what i wore on every boat day, denim shorts and a bikini top, todays choice was black.  twenty minutes later, teeth were brushed, waterproof mascara was put on, and i had informed my dad that i was leaving.

i walked out the sliding door into the backyard.  i walked down the grass with my bag in hand, staring at my feet until grass shifted into sand.  my friends were waiting, the boat pulled up to my dock.

"good morning, cal," kie calls from the boat, using her hand to block the sun.

"morning," i grin.

i make my way to the end of the dock as jj takes my hand and helps me into the boat.

"m'lady," he gestures, curtsying and bowing his head as i hit him playfully. i drop my bag on the floor and take my usual seat next to kie.

"how'd you feel after the other night?" she asks.

"awful," i reply, "my dad made me have dinner at the cameron's."

"aw, did you and rafe do coke together?" jj bats his eyelashes at me from across the boat.

"shut up," i laugh.

"i'm sorry, what?" pope says.

"yeah, pause," john b chimes in.

"i saw rafe doing coke the other night," i say.

"holy shit," john b laughs.

"holy shit," pope repeats, concerned.

"what's kook princess been up to?" jj asks.

kiara's smile falls at the thought of sarah. 

"don't even mention that bitch around me," she says.

the boys look at her and then to me, trying to hold back laughter at her sudden serious tone.

"um, sarah is good," i say.

i notice john b chewing on the inside of his cheek as i said that.  he had been a little bit off lately, like he was hiding something.  only i couldn't pinpoint what exactly that could be.

"what color are you wearing for midsummers?" i ask kie, trying to take her mind off of sarah.

"purple," she sighs, "i hate midsummers, it's such bullshit."

i saw kie's point.  it felt unfair that we got to dress up and play pretend and make small talk with wealthy people, especially considering that our three friends couldn't have that.  besides sarah and kiara's falling out, i always thought kie hated sarah because she hadn't been exposed to the things we had.  sarah is still wrapped in bubble wrap.  she has no idea what being a pogue is like.

she asked me about my dress to which i responded, "blue, sky blue, something like that."

midsummers was less than a week away.  as much as kie hated it, i always sorta looked forward to it.  and during her kook year, we looked forward to it together. 

i'm glad kie and i moved passed our out of touch, superficial ways of freshman year.  i don't think either of us could ever forgive ourselves for forgetting the people who were really there for us, the people right in front of us.

i don't think they would forgive us, either.