tidal wave | rafe cameron

eight

the sun had set and i had lost count of the champagne i had been drinking.  the fuzzy feeling of intoxication made me feel warm.

"i have to pee," i say to kie.

she giggles and nods her head sloppily as she sips the bubbly liquid in her glass.

i head inside and suddenly feel sick when i hear rafe's voice from somewhere in the echoey room.  i head to the bathroom and as i wash my hands, i stare at my reflection.  i looked pretty.  i deserve better than someone like rafe.  someone who wouldn't hit me up late night and not give me anything in return.  someone who wouldn't ghost me.

as i leave the bathroom, it's like the universe is against me.  rafe stands in front of me, looking down at me in his perfectly tailored suit.  all i want to do is stare back.  i want to jump into his arms and kiss him.  but i know that's not the right thing.  so instead, i walk past him, not saying a word.

"callie," he says, grabbing my arm.

i yank it away, "what."

"i'm sorry."

"for?" i ask impatiently.

"for leaving you.  for not calling.  i just-," he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"save it," i cut him off.

"callie, please," his voice is so desperate, i almost cave.

but i keep walking. i walk through the building, careful not to move too fast in my heels. on top of that, i could definitely feel the alcohol kicking in and as my heart raced, i was worried i might throw up. 

you deserve better.

i keep reminding myself over and over and over again.  but i don't want better, i want rafe.  and i hate myself for even thinking that.

i turn back, part of myself begging to keep going outside.  i could go find kie or sarah and forget about rafe and how our tension drives me insane.  i could forget all of it, but i could never do that.  in all of the years i've known rafe, i've secretly dreamt of this moment.  a time where he would want me; a time where he would need me.

rafe catches me before i even see him, a look of relief washing over his face as we lock eyes.  in the room full of people, we only saw each other.

"callie," he breathes.

"start talking."

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry," he speaks quickly and stutters frequently.  i can't help but wonder if him, kelce, and topper had snuck off to do coke again.

that's when he hugs me.  his arms wrap around my body and as i smell his cologne, i suddenly feel at ease.  he holds me tight, like he's afraid i'll disappear if he lets go.

"please forgive me," he whispers close to my ear.

"rafe," i start but trail off, honestly unsure of how i wanted to respond.

"i never meant to hurt you, i swear to god, i didn't.  i had stuff with my dad and i had to leave and that'll never happen again.  just please forgive me," he rambles.

"why didn't you text me?" i question.

he rubs his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut, "i don't know, callie."

i think for a second, "you're lucky i don't hate you."

he finally releases me from his grasp as he looks at me.  i can feel other people watching us but for once, i don't care.

"you look good," his eyes linger at certain parts of my body but he quickly looks away as we lock eyes.

"so do you."

"so, what have you been doing?" he asks.

"what, tonight? or during the week when you acted like i didn't exist?"

he throws his head back in frustration, "callie, how many times do i have to say that i'm sorry?"

"hmm, about a hundred," a smile plays at my lips.

he puts a hand around my waist and grins, "you know i'd do that."

he looks so good in that suit, my heart is barely functioning properly. i quickly kiss him, but as i begin to take his hand and lead him outside, my heart really stops working.

"callie? what the fuck?"

i turn around to see sarah. she stands there with her mouth open.  before i can speak, she shakes her head and walks away.

"oh my god," i choke.

rafe begins pacing, "fuck."

"oh my god," i repeat.

i make my way through the crowd of well dressed people.  i tried my hardest not to look like something was seriously wrong as my heels clicked against the floor.  but i couldn't pretend, part of me was worried i just ruined my friendship with sarah.

i catch up to her outside, kie is talking to someone so i just pray that she doesn't see me.

"sarah, can i please explain?"

"explain what? that you're secretly dating my brother?" people start to look at us as her voice gets louder.

"we're not dating," i blurt out.

"so, what? you're fucking? cause that's even worse."

"no, it's just- it's complicated," i rub my forehead,  hardly able to string my words together.

"you're pathetic."

as the words left her mouth, i suddenly became more aware.  what i did was wrong, i'll admit that, but sarah doesn't know what i know about her.

"oh, please, i'm pathetic? aren't you the one who's cheating on her boyfriend with john b?"

she goes speechless.  her armor came down and she realized we were even.

"what are you talking about?"

"i saw you last week.  holding hands."

"fuck you, callie."

i shrug and make my way over to kie who was already watching me.

"is that true?" she asks.

i nod, "all of it."

"you and rafe?" she eyes me skeptically.

"it's really not like that.  it was a one time thing, i swear."

she laughs a little, "who knew you'd be fucking kook princesses brother."

"okay seriously, we aren't fucking though," i laugh.

"so, john b and sarah?" she looks around almost nervously.

"i wish i was lying."

"that fucking bitch.  i wish she would get her slimy hands away from our friend group."

my eyes drop to the floor.  kie was beyond open about her hatred for sarah.  but still, i kept my mouth shut.  i didn't need things to be any more tense than they were already.

"ugh, i almost feel bad for topper," she says.

"yeah.  at least we know the real reason john b has been so distant."

"yeah," she trails off.

i didn't know what the future would hold. but as our secrets came to light, i realized that even though in the moment, things seemed bad; i would be okay.