Hate to love you

Chapter 29

Jennie’s POV

I notice the way how Lisa look at me, it was different from before I can’t tell exactly what change. Then this afternoon the moment she entered my room, I know she was there to tell me something. The way she shifted and the shy look on her face was an indication for me that finally I’ll get an answer.

Because I know to myself, that the first time Lisa save me from those bad guys she got my heart. I didn’t even know who she was at that time and even if I know who she is right now, I’m so sure that I like her.

Then it happened in an instant, I kiss her and it was something magical. My heart beats so calm, the surrounding went silent. I was about to break the kiss but I was surprise that she pulled me and deepen it.

I was the happiest that everything became clear but it only took minutes for it to vanish, the moment we’re done kissing she behave differently. Her loving eyes turned frustrated, I was shocked when she told me to stay away from her. I didn’t want to do that. Not now that she mean a lot to me, not because she's the Lisa Manoban everybody know but the Lisa I’ve known.

The event unfolds quickly leaving me dumbfounded specially when I stood outside her room, it’s like she act like before and it hurts me more.

The door opened revealing Chaeng with a tray on her hand containing a glass of juice and sandwich.

“Hey, you must eat. You skip dinner” she softly said.

She put it on my bedside table and sit beside me.

“U-Unnie” I let the tears won as I hug her.

I was totally devastated that everything went back to zero, I thought Lisa and I was leading into something but why did it end so quick?

She was very caring and it made me fell for her even more, the sweet talk, the small gestures it was everything for me. I don’t care about the things she can provide because only one thing is enough— her affection. She was rude yes but as the saying goes don’t judge the book by it’s cover, I didn’t judge her for that. I do understand where she’s coming from, who wouldn’t act like that when everything you cared about would be stolen from you in a mistake. Even I would be mad if I were in her shoes and have less trust to whoever I’ll meet.

I want my Lisa back. The one who kiss me, not this old version of herself.

I can tell she break her walls down for me, she open her true identity that she’s been hiding all these years. I wouldn’t ask for more because she’s doing it on her free will— she’ll be the greatest person anyone would meet if she’d given the chance to prove herself first.

But….. she’s back on her shell. Her only comfort zone, if only I didn’t dare to kiss her this won’t happen. I rush it and it was ruined.

“Shush now Jennie, please calm down. Breath”

I didn’t know that I’d cried too much and it started to suffocate me.

“U-Unnie…..I…I’m c-confuse…Lisa…”

I couldn’t even talk properly, it hurts. My heart is aching on the thought that she’s going to shove me away like how she did from the start.

“Breath Jennie. Take your time, I’m here”

“I d-did something bad. Is s-she…o-okay? W-What did you talk about?”

She broke the hug “She didn’t mention anything in particular, she’s so mad”

I saw how her eyes glimmer, she’s in the verge of crying but she didn’t want to do it.

“If it’s okay for you, would you mind to tell me what exactly happened? It seems like she’s more mad than the usual. I can’t pinpoint anything that cause her to hate you this much”

I look down my trembling hands that’s in my lap “I k-kiss her unnie. It was okay at first because when I break the kiss she pulled me again, she kiss me back”

I sob remembering how good it felt yet so painful.

“Then she said it was a m-mistake…i-it w-was a mistake unnie. Her kiss for me was just a mistake for her!”

But I know it wasn’t. She wouldn’t kiss me like that if she didn’t feel anything, whatever she’ll say I’ll take my time making her open up to me again. I would take any opportunity I’ll have just to get her back.

“Don’t worry Jennie, time will heal anything that is broken. For now, give Lisa some space and figure everything out on her own. Beside she won’t ever listen to whatever we’ll say, let her decide”

This time I look at Chaeng unnie, she gave me a genuine smile and she hug me.

No. I won’t give her space, I’ll make her decide of her feelings for me— if she’s confuse or she’s ready to take a risk. She’s always on her head but she’s not even thinking emotionally, that’s why people around her let her do whatever she likes.

That kiss— a sign for me to start it my way. For better or for worst.