I Think I Love My Best Friend

5

It was the next day and I woke up to see Joey not with me anymore. I wondered where he went but it wasn't a big deal. It's not like I love him? Yeah he's good at having sex —well really good—  but I'm not in love with him.
I got up from my bed and walked towards the door. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I scoffed at the way I looked; I hated it. I felt like a total stranger to myself. A burden. I reached into the drawer and grabbed a razor. I realized the door was open so I shut it quickly. I had the razor in my hand and looked at it. I looked at it for a good minute before closing my eyes and taking it to my thigh. I squeezed my eyes shut and cut line after line until I couldn't take it anymore. I looked down and saw there was about 10-12 lines of blood. I put the razor back into the drawer and cleaned up my cuts. They were a bit deep but it was fine.

When I left the bathroom, I went straight to my room to see Sid going through my stuff. "Get out, Wilson!" I panicked. He took a quick look at me and realized I had cuts on my thighs. "Y/n," he said softly. I ran towards him and pushed him out of my room. "Stay out of here" I said before slamming the door shut. When I shut it, I realized what just happened; he saw my cuts. I put my back to the door and fell to the floor before curling up into a ball and crying. I sobbed and cried until I heard a knock on the door. "Y/n? It's me, Corey. Can we talk?" Corey asked. Corey was like a brother to me; always making sure I'm safe, doing what makes me happy, and just always checking up on me. I didn't have the gut to turn him away, so I stood up and opened the door slowly and popped my head out. "Hey doll, you doing okay?" He asked. I nodded my head, but he could clearly see that was a lie. "Can I come in?" He asked. I looked at him for a moment before opening the door wider so he could come in.
Once he came in, I shut the door behind him. He sat on my bed and gestured for me to sit next to him. "What happened?" He asked with sorrowful eyes. I sighed and took deep breaths. "I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't like what I saw, so-" he cut me off. "So you hurt yourself?" He said. "Y/n that's not a good way to cope with that," he stated with a sad voice. "I know" I whispered. He hugged me tightly and stroked my back. "It's gonna be okay" he assured me.

~~~~~

It was 3:00 now and the house was quiet. I was sitting in my room listening to music while drawing in a sketchbook. I heard someone knock on my door and I sighed. "Come in" I said while taking my headphones off and resting them on my neck. Joey came in with a box of chocolates and a teddy bear. I spinned around in my chair and smiled. He set it down on my bed and I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately on the lips, and he wrapped his hands around my waist. "I heard what happened earlier," he stated with a slight smile. I nodded and frowned. "Hey hey, don't be ashamed. Sometimes it feels like the right thing to do, and I totally get that." He assured me. I looked at him and smiled softly. I pressed a kiss one his lips before letting go. I took a small step back and admired his beauty. I turned around and sat cross legged on my bed and opened the box of chocolates. I began to munch on them while holding the teddy bear in my lap. Joey began to explore my room and he saw my sketch book. "This is really good, y/n," he complimented. "It's just a sketch" I smile. He nodded and kept exploring. He went to my dresser and opened my middle drawer.
I widened my eyes and gasped when he pulled out a dildo. He showed it to me and laughed. "Put that down!" I said in a playful but serious tone. He quickly dropped it back in the drawer and closed it. "You got a lot in there" he joked. "Oh shut up!" I argued. He chuckled and continued to look around. He went over to my desk and opened the drawer. He found one of my diary's and opened it. I didn't think much of it until he read a page to me. He sat down on my desk chair and read it.

"March 18th 1989,

Dear diary, today I went to Matthew's house and we had a beer. I went to the bathroom and went to use the toilet and I heard the door open. I told them that I was in the bathroom but they still went into the bathroom. The next thing I knew, I was getting my head smashed into a wall and dragged to a bedroom. I acted like I passed out but really, I was awake. I felt the man remove my clothes and-"

And that's when I stopped Joey from reading.
"Y/n.." he said in a sad tone. He looked at me with sorrowful eyes and his eyes began to water. "You were only 14" he whispered. I nodded my head and took the book from him. "That's enough of 'Y/n's diary's from high school!' " I stated. "When were you gonna tell me about this?" He asked as I put it back into my drawer. "Never" I said as I bent over his lap. He put a hand on my ass and squeezed it gently. I squealed and laughed.