Minji's Voice - Bbangsaz

Chapter 24

Minji's POV

I stood at the kitchen sink, gulping a glass of water. I had just returned from a run with the dogs on the lake shore. Once the weather got worse, I couldn't keep doing it.

I stood there, thinking about what I was going to do today, feeling a heaviness in my stomach that I wasn't sure how to handle. I had also felt the same before running and thought exercise would clear my head. I did not do it.

I was restless, it's that simple. And it wasn't a physical concern, it seemed. It was mental. When I woke up that morning, with the smell of Hanni around me in the tangled sheets, I felt happy and content. But then when I realized she was gone, I got up and tried to figure out what to do with my day. There were several projects I could work on, but none of them interested me. I had a vague feeling that it was a topic I needed to seriously consider.

What are you going to do with your life, Minji?

Hanni had shaken things up for me, and at that moment, all I could feel was unease. I never expected someone to come and open the world to me, but that's what she did. And now I had possibilities that I didn't think I had before. But they all revolved around her. And that scares me.

I heard a knock on my door and put the glass down.

Hanni arrived early?

I walked out of my house towards the door and saw Beomgyu walking down the driveway towards me.

I stood waiting for him to come closer, wondering what the hell he wanted.

He raised his hands in a mock 'don't shoot me' pose and I cocked my head to the side, waiting.

Beomgyu took a folded paper out of his back pocket and when he got to where I was, he handed it to me.

I took it, but I didn't open it.

"Applying for a driving license," he said. "You'll just have to bring your birth certificate and proof of address with you. A water bill or whatever."

I raised my eyebrows and looked at the paper.

What was he up to?

"I owe you an apology for what I did at the strip club. It was... immature and out of line. I'm actually glad to see that you and Hanni worked it out. I think she really likes you, Min."

I wanted to ask him how he knew that I knew she liked me, maybe even more than that, but I longed to hear what he had told Beomgyu about me. But, even if she could have, it wouldn't be a good idea to ask him, he loved to mess with me. However, I didn't know how to talk about all my feelings with Hanni. I knew that sex did not equal love, so how would I know if she loved me if she didn't tell me? And if she didn't tell me, did that mean she didn't love me? Everything was twisted and I had no one to talk to.

And the worst thing was that I knew I loved her, so much and with every part of my heart, even the broken parts, even the parts that felt unworthy and worthless.

"So," Beomgyu continued, "can we have a truce? All's fair in love and war and all that, right? You win, you won the girl. You can't blame a guy for trying though, right? No hard feelings?" He held out his hand to me.

I looked at him.

I didn't trust Beomgyu, but what was the point of making this some kind of continuous war between us? He was right: I had won. Hanni was mine. Just at the thought, a fierce possessiveness roared through me. I extended my hand and shook it, still looking at him suspiciously.

Beomgyu rested his thumbs on his gun belt. "So I guess you already know that Hanni's friends are in town, friends from his hometown."

I frowned, tilted my head back slightly, and gave myself away. Beomgyu got an 'oh shit' look on his face.

"Shit, she didn't tell you?" he asked. He looked away and then looked back at me. "Well, I'm sure it must be difficult for her, I mean, here she is, she likes you, and at some point, she has to go home, go back to her real life. That's a difficult position."

To go home? To her real life? What the hell was he talking about?

Beomgyu studied me, sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Shit, Min, you don't have some kind of illusion that she's going to stay here and work in a small town restaurant all her life, do you? Maybe you thought she's going to live in this little shack you call a house, have many babies, which, by the way, you will have no way of keeping?"

He laughed, but when I didn't, his smile faded, and a look of pity replaced it. "Oh hell, that's exactly what you expect, isn't it?"

The blood roared in my ears. I hadn't exactly imagined any of that, but the thought of her leaving made me very afraid.

"Fuck! Look, Minji, when I told you that you had won her, I just meant in the short term, for a few nights, a couple of fucks in the truck... I mean, well... come on... ., you deserve it, Min. But don't you even think about fantasizing about anything else. She might tell you that she's going to stay here, and she probably will for a while. But a girl like Hanni, who's been to college, she'll want to make a life for herself eventually. She's here to get away temporarily, to heal a wound, and then she'll leave. Why wouldn't she? What can you really offer her? Hanni will find a man who loves her and can give her more. What can you give her, Minji?"

I was standing, frozen in front of this asshole. I wasn't stupid enough to not see what he was doing. He was playing his cards. But unfortunately for me, the card he was playing was based on truth. He had a winning hand, and he knew it. That's what he had come to do: destroy me with the truth. To remind me that I was nothing. And maybe it was a good reminder.

I didn't even know if he wanted her more. Maybe not. But now it was about me not having her either. He was going to win, one way or another. I saw it, I knew it. I had seen that same look on another man's face once. I remembered what it meant.

He took another deep breath, looking a little embarrassed, or maybe pretending to be. He cleared his throat. "Anyway," he said, looking at the piece of paper in my hand, "good luck with the permit. You shouldn't have to walk everywhere."

He nodded at me. "Take care, Minji."

Then he turned around and walked back up the driveway and out the door. I stood there for a long time, feeling small, imagining her leaving, and trying to remember how to keep breathing.

................................................

What do you think Minji will do after her conversation with Beomgyu? Do you think Beomgyu is planning something to mess up with Minji?

Don't forget to vote and comment if you want to read the next chapter, it helps me a lot. Thank you for reading and don't hesitate to tell me if there are any mistakes :)