Minji's Voice - Bbangsaz

Chapter 9

Minji's POV

-Fourteen years-

I walked through the woods, past the places that I knew by heart would twist my ankle, around the branches that I knew would seemingly reach out and grab me if I got too close. I knew this land by heart.

Irina wandered to my right, keeping my pace, but exploring the things a dog's nose found interesting. She would snap her fingers or clap her hands if I needed to call her to come to me. However, she was an old dog and she only responded to me half the time, whether it was because she was hard of hearing or just stubborn, she wasn't sure.

I found the net trap that Uncle Taehyung had asked me to help him set up a couple days earlier and started working on taking it down. I noticed that these kinds of things help silence any voices that Uncle Taehyung seemed to hear in his head, and I even noted the fact that these kinds of projects kept me busy, but what I couldn't stand was listening to small animals. Trapped in them in the middle of the night. So I walked around the property taking apart what we had put together just a few days before and looking for the ones Taehyung had done on his behalf.

Just as I was finishing, I heard voices, laughter, and splashes of water coming from the lake. I left the things I had collected in my arms and walked tentatively toward the sounds of the people I heard playing on the shore.

As soon as I got to the edge of the trees, I saw her. Jeon Somi. I felt like I moaned, but of course, no sound came out. She was wearing a black bikini and came out of the lake soaked. I felt stiff in my pants, ugh excellent. That seemed to happen all the damn time now, but somehow, the fact that it happened in response to Somi made me feel weird, embarrassed.

Even though I was mortified by the whole thing, I tried to ask Uncle Taehyung about it last year when I turned thirteen, but he ended up throwing some magazines at me that had naked women in them and he went off into the woods to set more traps. The magazines didn't exactly explain much, but I liked looking at them, I probably spent too much time looking at them, and then I would slide my hand inside my pants and stroke myself until I was sighing with release. I didn't know if it was right or wrong, but it felt too good to stop.

I was staring so intently at Somi, watching her laugh and wring out her wet hair, that I didn't see him coming. Suddenly, a loud male voice said, "Look at that! There's some kind of strange peeping tom in the forest! Why don't you say something, Minji? Do you have something to say?" And then he muttered under his breath, but loud enough for me to hear, "Damn weirdo."

Beomgyu, my cousin. The last time I had seen him had been right after he thought I had lost my voice. I was still bedridden at Uncle Taehyung's house when Beomgyu and his mom, Aunt Min A, came to visit me. I knew she was there to see if I would say anything about what I had discovered that day. I wouldn't do it; it didn't matter anyway.

Beomgyu had cheated in a game of Go Fish and then complained to his mom that I had cheated. I was too tired and my body hurt too much to care. I turned my head towards the wall and pretended to sleep until they left.

And now, there he was on the beach with Jeon Somi. Hot shame filled my face at his mocking words. All eyes turned to me as I stood there, exposed and humiliated. I brought my hand to my scar, covering it. I wasn't sure why, I just did it. I didn't want them to see it, It was the proof that I was guilty and damaged, ugly.

Somi looked at the ground, embarrassed, but a second later she looked at Beomgyu and said, "Come on, Beomgyu, don't be mean. She's disabled, she can't even talk." The last sentence was practically whispered, as if what she was saying was some kind of secret. Some eyes looked at me with pity, fading as mine met theirs, and others glowed with excitement, watching to see what was going to happen next.

My entire face pulsed with humiliation as everyone continued to stare at me. I felt frozen in place. The blood was making a hissing sound in my ears and I felt dizzy.

Finally, Beomgyu approached Somi and wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her towards him and kissing her wetly on the mouth. She seemed stiff, uncomfortable as he pressed his face against hers, eyes open, fixed on me, standing behind her.

That was the catalyst that finally got my feet moving. I turned around, tripped on a small rock right behind me, and collapsed to the ground. Pine needles stuck in my hands and a branch scraped my cheek as I fell. Loud laughter erupted behind me and I hurried, practically running back to the safety of my house. I was shaking with shame and anger and something akin to pain. Although due to the fact that I was grieving at the time, I wasn't exactly sure.

I was a weirdo, I was here alone and isolated for a reason: I was to blame for so much tragedy, so much pain.

I was worthless.

I walked through the forest and as tears welled up in my eyes, I let out a silent scream, picked up a rock and threw it at Irina, who had never left my side since the people on the beach started making fun of me.

Irina screamed and jumped to the side as the small rock hit her body and then immediately moved towards me.

For some reason, the fact that, that dumb dog came back to my side after I had been cruel to her was what made the tears start to flow relentlessly down my cheeks. My chest heaved and I wiped the moisture from my eyes.

I fell to the ground and pulled Irina into my arms, hugging her, stroking her fur and saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, over and over in my mind, hoping dogs knew how to read minds. It was all I had to offer, I buried my head in her fur and hoped she would forgive me.

After a few minutes, my breathing began to slow, and my tears dried. Irina continued licking my face.

I heard pine needles crunching behind me under the weight of someone's feet and knew it was Uncle Taehyung. I continued to look ahead as he sat next to me, raising his knees, like mine.

For several long minutes, we both sat like that, saying nothing, just staring ahead, Irina's gasps the only sounds between us.

After a few minutes, Uncle Taehyung came over and took my hand in his, squeezing it. His hand felt rough, dry, but it was warm, and I needed the touch.

"They don't know who you are, Minji. They have no idea. And they don't deserve to know, don't let their judgment hurt you."

I absorbed his words, turning them over in my mind. I had to assume that he had seen that exchange somehow. His words didn't make much sense to me, Uncle Taehyung's words usually didn't, but somehow, they comforted me anyway. He always seemed to be right on the edge of something deep, but he couldn't get anyone but him to understand the depth of his own thinking. I nodded with my head without turning it.

We sat there a little longer, and then we got up and went in to eat dinner and bandage my cut cheek.

The laughter and splashing in the distance grew fainter and fainter until it finally faded away completely.

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What do you think happened to Minji to make her feel like that? Is it really her fault?

I'd appreciate it if you vote and comment because it tells me you're liking the story so far, and also cause it motivates me. Thank You for reading and don't hesitate to tell me if there are any mistakes :)