panic attack

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Y/N's POV

Today's training session was pretty short, as we were heading to the Emirates for a day of shooting content for social media, as well as a large group conference being broadcasted on TV all around the world. That last part was my biggest nightmare. Talking in public was something I had never been good at, so the thought of it was freaking me out. This must've been noticeable during training, as I was struggling to do things I normally would be great with.

As we went over to the edge of the pitch for a quick drinks break, Katie stopped me and put her arm around me.

"You alright kid?" she asked.

"Yeah i'm fine." I quickly responded, realising I had blown it and I was spiralling.

"You sure? You just seem really out of it this morning." Katie explained. I sighed, knowing I needed to tell her the truth.

"I'm good," I said. "Just absolutely shitting myself for the big conference later. I hate public speaking."

"Girl don't worry, I get you. It's scary but I promise you'll be fine. Sit next to me at the conference, between me and Leah, we'll keep you calm." Katie reassured me, stroking my shoulder and giving me a smile. I nodded, before going to find my bottle of Lucozade.

By the time we finished training, I was completely in the wrong headspace for the day. I had failed massively at tackles in that game we played and I was beginning to doubt my abilities. I zoned out, aiming to change the words around in my brain, reminding myself I was just nervous about the conference. Suddenly, I felt a pair of gentle arms wrap around my waist and a head rest on top of my shoulder.

"Oh hello," I said, turning my head to see Leah.

"You zoned out. You okay?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Right, let me rephrase that." Leah said. "You zoned out. What's wrong?"

Leah knew me too well. We were roommates at both Arsenal and England, and she was my best friend, so even when I tried to hide my feelings, she wasn't stupid enough to take my word for it.

"I fucked up in that session." I sighed.

"No you didn't you were absolutely fine! Don't beat yourself up Y/N/N." Leah replied. I gave her a very small smile before carrying on.

"I'm just so scared for later." I said quietly.

Leah hugged me tight and kissed my cheek.

"I know you are, but I'm going to be right there the entire time yeah?"

I nodded and took a deep breath.

"Katie said I could sit next to you, in between you and her so you can look after me." I said.

"Of course my girl." Leah replied. "Katie will do all the talking, she never shuts up! You might not have to say anything at all, but even if you do you will be absolutely fine, trust me."

We headed inside to get changed and get on the bus to the Emirates.

When we arrived, camera crews were setting themselves up on the pitch, lights beaming from every angle. I loved playing at the Emirates, but all the commotion made things so different. Jonas pulled us all to one side, showing us the plan of who was where in the team photo. I was kneeling on the middle bench in between Viv and Alessia.

It took ages to get a good photo, with the amount of people blinking on the flash, eyes being shut and camera issues we had I felt like it would never end. Once everything was done, we all headed to the dressing rooms to get changed into some normal clothes and get ready for the conference. Jonas went with the camera crews to help set up the room for it, lining up the correct amount of seats in one long row across the whole stage, all behind a long table which you would expect to see at a street party buffet. I looked into the room as we passed it to get to the changing rooms, my breath hitched as I looked through the window.

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