hungover?

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Warning⚠️  talk of r@pe, drug use

Context
Y/N is 21 and hasn't had a drink since her 18th birthday, after a traumatic event that took place on her night out. The Lionesses have a mini party at camp one night, to which Y/N decides she wants to drink and enjoy herself, but she gets too carried away, and begins to struggle with her thoughts.

Y/N's POV

I didn't even know how to explain myself. I felt rotten anyway as I was still severely hungover, but I knew I needed to tell Leah this story. The blonde was sat on the edge of her bed, opposite me, staring at me concerned.

"It's okay babe, take your time."

I took a few deep breaths before getting into it.

"So, when I was 18 I went out with some friends for my birthday. My first night out so I was super excited. It was everything I expected it to be and more, I absolutely loved it and up until the last club we went to, it was the best night of my life. That was until we went to the last club." I was starting to get a bit panicky just thinking about it, the trauma was creeping up on me again but I couldn't stop telling the story now. Leah was still looking at me, looking so concerned about me.

"My friends and I bumped into this group of boys who went to our college. They weren't on our course as they were doing more business related stuff rather than sport, but we knew them and we used to hang out. One guy from the group always seemed to like me, I didn't really know him but at the time he seemed like a nice guy when we used to hang out. That was until we bumped into them that night. They'd bought us all drinks and loads of shots and before I knew it I was off my face. This guy asked me to get in a photo with him so I did, and afterwards I turned around and all my friends were gone. Not completely gone, I'd just lost them. I started to stumble away to find them, heading for the bathrooms just in case they were there, but then he grabbed me. He spun me round and dragged me to a random corner of the club. He asked if I wanted another drink which I refused, but it was too late. He forced a drink down me, then made me snort coke before he-he..."

"It's okay darling, take your time remember," Leah whispered, coming to sit right next to me on my bed and stroking my thigh. I didn't look up at her once, but I heard her voice start to break a little. I dreaded saying the next part because I knew it would break her.

"He pushed me into the disabled toilet and raped me."

I had to briefly stop there as I felt my stomach going all queasy. I ran to the bathroom in our room and threw up in the toilet. Leah followed me and held my hair back whilst it happened. She knew about my major fear of sick so she stroked my back and tried to calm me down a bit, whilst trying to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.

"Deep breaths, you're okay. Everything's fine, shhh." Leah said calmly, despite her voice breaking even more.

We continued the conversation sat on the bathroom floor. I didn't feel sick anymore, I just didn't have the energy to stand up and go back to my bed.

"I couldn't move. I was pushed against the wall and then he pushed me onto the floor and stripped my clothes off me whilst he sat on top of me. I can still fe-feel his h-h-hands on me."

I couldn't say anything else. I was sobbing, clutching my body tightly. Leah wrapped her arms around me and let me cry into her chest. She stroked my head gently to calm me down, despite being heartbroken over what she'd just heard.

"Did you call the police babe?"

I shook my head.

"Too scary." I said. "I couldn't bring myself to do it. I feel like they'd blame me for it because I was drunk."

"It's okay. You're safe here. But I promise it is NOT your fault."

I knew I was safe at camp. I love my teammates so much, and Leah is practically my big sister, hence why I felt safe enough to drink last night, even though I knew that was a stupid decision because 1) my mental health was shit anyway, and 2) i hadn't drank in 3 years so the second the alcohol hit my system it sent me crazy.

"It's just brought everything back that's all." I cried, trying to calm myself down because I was embarrassed.

"I understand." Leah whispered. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the police? Because if you do at any point we are all right behind you."

I shrugged.

"Come and get back into bed, it's more comfortable there." Leah said, helping me up off the floor and holding my hand as we sat down on my bed. She pushed the covers away and tucked us both underneath.

"What someone does to you in that situation has nothing to do with you or who you are, okay? None of it is your fault Y/N, please tell me you know that."

I didn't know what to say. For years I'd blamed myself and I didn't think that would ever change. I shrugged again, but this time I was pulled closer into Leah, my head resting against her shoulder until she moved it to her chest.

"Listen to my heartbeat, it'll calm you down. Keep breathing." Leah whispered, helping me doze off to sleep.

"Wait, before you sleep, have some water please," she said, passing the glass of water from my bedside table over to me. I sipped on the water before falling asleep on Leah's chest.

Leah's POV

I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. I tried to keep it together as much as I could in front of Y/N, but when she fell asleep I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I sobbed for a good while, my heart breaking into pieces knowing what Y/N had been through. I was so glad we had her here at camp, safe and with people who support her around her every second of every day. She truly means everything to me.

I stroked Y/N's hair as she fell asleep and lay there in silence, staring at the ceiling not knowing what to do with the information I had just got. Y/N had been traumatised by this pathetic excuse of a boy, and I knew I couldn't just keep it all to myself, even if it was three years ago. I texted Keira for support.

Leah: Keira I need some advice.
Keira: What's up? Do you want me to come to your room?
Leah: No no it's fine, Y/N is asleep on me, I just need some help.
Keira: Bless her, is she okay? Of course, what is it?
Leah: Not really tbh, she's told me this story about her past and why she hasn't drank anything since her 18th till last night and it's broken my heart, but she needs justice and I refuse to let her never get it.
Keira: Leah tell me the truth, did someone hurt her?
Leah: More than that. Have a guess but don't say the word to me, I've cried enough over this already.
Keira: Oh Leah, listen we will do anything we can to help her yeah? As a team we'll come together and campaign for change and support.
Leah: She won't want any fuss made about her, but I can't just let this dickhead get away with what he's done to her.
Keira: Right, let me go speak to Sarina and we'll sort this. When Y/N wakes up bring her downstairs and we'll all have a discussion.

Eventually, Y/N opened her eyes and began to squirm around in the bed.

"Hi angel, you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." Y/N replied.

"You sure?"

She nodded.

I helped Y/N out of bed, and we slowly headed down to the living room to meet the girls and Sarina. Keira had texted me saying they'd all be there by the time
Y/N woke up, so we went down and had a seat on the sofa next to Alessia and Ella.

"Hello girls, let's get started." Sarina began.

"So I have come up with some things we can do to not only spread awareness of these things happening, especially on nights out, but also get Y/N the justice she deserves."

I took Y/N's hand and squeezed it tight.

"Y/N, what we can do is contact the police, but make sure that everything is kept away from the public eye and everything is anonymised. I understand that you would want to keep this between us and him so we will do exactly that." Sarina said, reassuring Y/N. I turned to look at her and gave her a small reassuring smile. She looked terrified, but I knew we would be able to support her through everything and make sure that she got exactly what she needed, and he got the jail time he deserved.

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