My beginning and the end (Completed)

Undesired solace

I didn't run down the road. I walked, taking my time. I took a few quick glances at first to see if he had followed but noticed nothing. I kept walking for what felt like forever. I got to the end of the road. It split into three different roads. I had a decision to keep going, risking losing my way and possible death if I wouldn't find civilization or go back risking possibly the same thing. I tried to remember what turn he had taken each time. I just took the road to the left of me and started walking and walking. I felt guilty for leaving him. Why would I feel guilty for escaping.

As I kept walking, there was a swift turn in the road. Again, there were a few options where the road split. This time, I turned right and started walking again. Walking turned into jogging and jogging into running. The road was never-ending. I decided to sit down and have a break. The road couldn't have been that long. I got up, determined to get to the end. After a while, I noticed how familiar the trees looked. I thought it was strange and brushed it off as nothing.

As I kept walking, I noticed I was back at square one. I had walked in a circle. I walked all that just to end up back at the cabin. I walked onto the porch and dropped down, giving up. I hadn't drank or eaten in so long that I could no longer try anymore. This is it, I thought to myself. I'll never get to see my Enzo or any of my friends again. I'm basically living while I might as well dead.

I saw Damien walk out to the porch. He looked around, concerned for a bit  before he noticed I was laying there. He walked over to me and chuckled, asking me what had happened to me. I reached out my hand, and he pulled me up. I was a bit dizzy as I walked back inside, ignoring him. I walked into the living room and plummeted onto the couch. I started having horrible flashbacks to when I had stayed on the couch before when my leg was bleeding profusly and I was in unbearable pain. I felt my heart beat faster as I relived through those memories. I started looking around and pointing out things in my surroundings as a distraction.

Damien came over and asked me if I wanted something in particular to eat. I really didn't care anymore and told him to throw whatever he had at me and do it quickly. He went into the kitchen and grabbed something, and handed me a yogurt. My heart was beating so fast again that I thought I was about to die right there. Just like before, the memories. Nothing changed, and nothing would change.

I took the yogurt and slowly opened it. It was expired and molding. It was spuing out green mold from the container. I held it thight in my palm as I stared down at it. That was my last thread pulling away. I started bawling my eyes out. I held onto the yogurt and cried like there was no tomorrow. It reminded me of the time passed. I was back at the beginning. There is no end.

Damien came over and glaced down at the yogurt before he took it away and set it on the coffee table. He sat down beside me and put his arms around me, and tried to comfort me. I was feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I leaned towards him for any comfort. I hated how his tenderness made me feel weak for him, I felt love for him. I should have wanted to push away and run back down the road. But I couldn't, I just wanted to get closer, burrow myself into him. I hated the way I was feeling. If it were anyone else, then maybe it would be okay.