Take a Look trough the stars

Away

Far away I push everyone, I try to run away from society.
I feel the taste on my tounge of pure sadness, it follows me all around.
I'm not entirely healed and it relapses over and over that feeling of my slowly dying mind.
I'd do whatever I could do to just dissappear and become one with the nature.
Sitting against an old tree in the moonlight, watching the moon from afar in amazement.
How bright it is, it brings me joy in this cold night again.
I need something to hold onto, but I can't because I push everyone away if anything goes worse Than it should.
And if it was this easy I would have just gone, but instead I'm sitting here in comfort of the nature.
Taking painkillers like a drug, hoping my headaches would go away.
But those things are the only way to remind me that I am still alive, that remind me I'm still here.
I always forget how they leave me standing even emptier than I ever thought I could get.
Why doesn't anyone understand how hard it is, how hard it really is to just let it go.
This time I got to know where all my feelings went, why are they absent.
Why do they leave me sitting here, lazy, unproductive.
The tears glistening in the moonlight as my thoughts build up, making me wonder when someone will notice why I am so lazy, why I am so distant at times, why I am so mean occasionally.
I keep on trying to let them go, so they won't cry when I leave, if I would dissappear.
I know I gotta let it out soon, just let it all out.
But I don't want to dissapoint any of them.
At the end I just end up here talking to the moon, far away from any humanity.