𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢, 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚢.

𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯

𝖲𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝖫𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒.

𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 - 𝙻𝚒𝚕 𝙿𝚎𝚎𝚙

♥︎♥︎♥︎

𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘕𝘰𝘦𝘭 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘥𝘦

IT'S BEEN AWHILE since I've seen anyone. After the whole ordeal I ended up hospitalizing myself. One of my shorter stays, but I went and I refused to let them medicate me, but I knew I needed to be watched. I was dangerously close to the edge of falling.

I don't know how, but my friends found out about it a day after I came in. Flowers were sent near immediately, all from them. Probably from a chatty teacher, my guess was Professor Mayans considering that's the only class we all have together.

Now being out, I was clear minded to some extent. It was easy to face the withdrawals under watch.

That day, I picked up that book and I read, I read until my eyes were bloodshot. I read until I realized I was being poisoned. The medicine I was taking was the root of all my problems, it was counter acting the things about myself I was trying to fix.

There was nothing wrong with me three years ago and I understand that grief can take a toll, but the way I lost everything was nothing short of concerning, I lost my emotions, I lost the way I thought. My brain was practically rewired. Therapy should've been enough, I shouldn't have needed all those medications, maybe just for my anxiety because I've always dealt with that.

So I made the choice to go cold turkey, it's not smart, it could actually cause more damage than harm which is why I put myself in the hospital. Just in case I went it to shock or something of the sorts. I knew this would be the best route. I didn't want to be like that anymore, the immediate guilt after what happened was immense.

In the end, I wanted to plan something nice for them.

Sort of a 'thanks for caring about my life' themed get together. Especially since I hadn't seen them in a while. I even missed the game, I wonder who took their pictures. I did watch it however, on TV.

I couldn't seem to help the way my eyes would consistently follow number 04.

Dakota's number.

Anyway the other day, I snuck around campus because I needed to pick up my school work that I missed. I decided to make cute little invitations that I put in each of their dorm rooms. I was feeling crafty and I figured that was a good way to show, I'm getting better.

So that's what I'm doing now, making my house spic and span to be ready for the get together. I had even cooked, I haven't done so in a while, but I figured it'd be nice.