Cynosure || Choi Yeonjun [ON HOLD]

✧ 14

"Hyewon, are you a lesbian?"

My head whipped around to face Eunji with so much force, my head hurt dully for a minute afterwards. I looked at her confusedly for a few seconds, a small part of me regretting ignoring their conversation up until I heard my name.

Eunji was the quietest out of the three girls, but always had something interesting to say when she eventually did speak.

"No?"

Goeun and Semi didn't give me any hints as to what she meant, instead giving me the same judgemental look, as if they were thinking it too. Goeun eventually rolled her eyes and spoke with a taunting and somewhat disgusted tone.

"She is literally sitting with her boyfriend right now."

I looked where she gestured with her eyes, and I realised that she was referring to Haru, who was, indeed, sitting with Yeonjun, her boyfriend.

I sighed a little and turned away from them, tightening my lips into a thin line as I looked at nothing in particular and leaned back in my chair.

"I was wodering what her hair routine is..."

My eyes looked back to her, as if my gaze was laced with poison that would reach her if I glared at her long enough.

"..and her diet."

I said the last part softly, the green virus of jealousy spreading into even more of my insecurities the more I thought about her. She was simply too perfect for me to compare to her, and Yeonjun had been right to choose her over me.

"Yeah, I've actually been wondering too... should we ask her?"

Eunji shook her head at Semi, leaning in a little closer to the table and lowering her voice.

"I heard she's super hard to approach without embarrassing yourself."

All three of their heads turned to take another look at her, somehow annoying me and making me cross my arms in front of me as I made a point to look away from her at that moment.

Goeun nodded her head, keeping her eyes on Haru.

"It's probably because of how pretty she is."

Semi and Eunji hummed in agreement, automatically making me follow suit.

"Imagine Yeonjun and her met, and it was like.. she finally embarrassed herself in front of someone else.. instead of the other way around."

Goeun spoke proudly, as if her voice didn't make her sound much dumber than anyone else who would have said the exact same thing. Semi cooed, covering her mouth like it was the cutest idea ever.

"That's like.. super adorable though..."

I resisted the urge to give her a judgemental look, instead nodding my head with a mildly interested demeanour.

Eunji seemed to notice my lack of total investment in the topic, and of course, she couldn't just leave me be.

"Aww~ someone's upset she's not the center of attention anymore~"

A scoff rose to just behind my lips, but I only looked at her blankly, truly not feeling enough motivation to defend myself. Semi and Goeun giggled along with her, the former looking at the juicebox in my hand.

"I mean, it's a little much to only drink those things... you're not a kid anymore."

"Yeah, like, it makes you seem desperate."

I looked down at the small green juicebox in my hand, feeling shame wash over me delicately, as if hoping it would go unnoticed.

How can I even feel guilty about eating something like this

I reluctantly placed the box on the table, forcing a chuckle through my lips and smiling in a way I thought looked amused.

=

Jeonghan must have pitied me, because he refused to leave my side at the mall, sending me sympathetic looks every chance he got.

Either he was glancing at me every now and then, or he was staring at me the whole time. I couldn't tell, as my own stares were either shooting bullets in the back of Haru's head, or caught longingly on Yeonjun.

I definitely had no intention of going after a guy with a girlfriend, but I stilll couldn't help having feelings for him.

I heard Jeonghan sigh and I heard his soft whisper beside my ear.

"Don't you think you should try to get over him?"

I pulled my gaze away from Yeonjun to look up at Jeonghan, not bothering to hide the unhappiness I knew it had on display. I could already see pity and concern written on his face.

"It's not that easy... you don't understand."

"Well, I'm no love expert.. but I'm pretty sure it doesn't help to stare at him every chance you get."

He was right. I knew I could feel myself falling deeper into a pool of self-pity and despair whenever the couple caught my eye and allowed them to keep it.

"It's just so difficult. You were there when I said it, right? I've liked him since we were kids, so it's like... like a habit now."

Jeonghan nodded at my words, appearing to think as he glanced at Yeonjun and Haru. Yeonjun now had his arm around her shoulders as she stared at her phone.

"I don't even get what he likes so much about her."

I looked up at Jeonghan surprisedly, not having expected him to say that at all. Noticing the surprise in my expression, he grinned slightly and leaned a little closer and lowered his voice.

"Between you and me, I think you're prettier than her."

He smirked playfully, earning an amused scoff from me, but still successfully managing to lift my spirits at least a little bit.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, a ghost of a smile on my face as I continued to walk beside Jeonghan.

stan jeonghan
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