The Circus Of The Lost Souls.

Chapter 10.

  

   "Conrad... Conrad, come to me. Look for me...'' A creepy voice sounded in the darkness. A shiver ran through my entire body, while fear had already overwhelmed me. I couldn't see anything at all, I was literally in darkness. My eyes burned and my heart was pounding like crazy from the anxiety of whether or not I would finally get out of here to see some light. <<Conrad...>> I heard that creepy male voice once again. That's exactly when I woke up from this strange and scary dream. I took a deep breath and got out of bed, I looked at the clock on the wall and it was quite early in the evening. Then I splashed some water on my face to snap out of it while I decided to go to Odette's room, I needed to talk to her and apologize for my behavior for all these years. I am ready to change my life and this time in a better way. It felt really good to talk to both Mum and Odette, I thought it would be harder than I expected but in the end their words were a wake up call for me. I really need to stop acting childish and focus on my future, which if I don't do something immediately, I won't have one.

I was outside her room and after taking a deep breath I knocked on the door. I waited for a few seconds for her to give me her approval and after she did I went in.

''Conrad.'' She said with a look of wonder. I never come to her room like she never comes to mine.

''Can we talk or am I disturbing you?''

''No. Sit down.'' She said and pointed to the chair opposite her bed where she was sitting.

''You were right in everything you said earlier.'' I said while feeling a little awkward, not with Odette but with myself. I wasn't used to apologizing, admitting my mistakes but most importantly talking about everything I was feeling.

''I know.'' She said and looked me in the eyes.

''Odette, I have made enough mistakes I admit it and obviously the worst thing I did was to push you away. I just want you to know that it wasn't your fault in any way, it's only my fault that I let myself become like that.''

''Conrad you know you have time to fix everything, but don't blame yourself so much. You didn't know how to handle everything that happened and it's only logical, you just kept everything inside for so long that unfortunately it led you to do stupid things, things that aren't you Conrad. You were always a calm and good-natured kid with hardly ever getting angry and all of a sudden you changed so much that I didn't know you, I thought I'd lost you and I was afraid we'd be like two strangers forever. I'm glad you decided to listen and accept what mum and I said, thank you for deciding to try. I know how hard it will be but rest assured that me and mom will always be there for you, no matter what you need.'' She said with warmth and comprehension in her words.

She was absolutely right I was the one who was changed, Odette was always here, and I completely cut her off from the life I had been leading until now. I just didn't want to be Conrad Amell my father and mother's son, Odette's brother. I felt like I was letting them both down, so I wanted to push them away, I didn't want them to see the real Conrad. It was only a matter of time before I broke down and finally let the real me out of the veil I had created of my own accord. I was afraid to feel, I didn't want people to look at me and say sorry for your loss, I didn't want to be reminded of it, and I didn't want to hurt every moment of every day at the sound of those words. When Odette brought this up, I just couldn't bear it. I feel a little better now, but of course I need time to be the old Conrad again, who was happy, carefree and hardly ever angry as Odette said.

''Thank you very much Odette. I hope we can go back to the way we were before. If you want to, of course.''

''Are you really asking me, Conrad? Of course I want my brother back.'' She said with excitement on her face and got up from the bed.