Ancient Astronauts

The Wedding

Alyonna had planned her wedding a million times in her head since the day she met Hans. This was to make sure nothing was out of place or surprising except the groom's antics, most of which she'd seen. Nothing prepared her for the tall bi-pedal lizards watching her proceed up the aisle with beady yellow eyes, tongues flicking in and out like they'd never learned manners, and clicks and whistles that were either congratulatory or their version of catcalling.

She focused her eyes straight ahead. She'd dreamed of this day with Hans for sixty-eight Earth years, and there he was, towering over the minister like some ancient god. It was an especially funny thought for Aly since they'd decided to go with a Baptist minister. It's what Aly's parents would've wanted. Hans met her eyes, and Aly stifled a giggle. He looked so dorky and pleased with himself.

John Hagglethorpe, released from prison on Hans' orders, citing the man John murdered as a traitor, was there also. His aged body did not fail him as he stood and smiled warmly at Alyonna. She returned it with a grateful smile. John gently nodded his understanding.

A second giant walked by her side, smelling of coriander and cardamom, weaving an olfactory tapestry that could have graced the halls of ancient kings. Off to the side she spotted Sheila, and her heart lurched for her friend. The life she should have had, taken away. Events had fallen hard on her when they were supposed to do so for Aly. Alyonna shivered in her friend's wedding dress, which she'd been lent for the occasion.

"Release it from your mind," the cryptic levantian sage whispered, only audible enough for Alyonna to hear, "This is not a day for suffering. She rejoices for you."

He paused to make sure his words had the desired effect. Realizing she needed another nudge, "Everyone here is your friend, Alyonna. If forgiveness is needed, it's been given. Sheila loves you and holds nothing against you."

A smile spread over Alyonna's face as she passed Sheila. It was a genuine smile holding no unneeded apology. Sheila smiled back warmly, holding a soundly sleeping Roland in her arms.

Alyonna ascended the dais of the great auditorium attached to Dr. Alulim's home, and felt more than saw the sage place her hand in Hans' as her verdant eyes were fixed on those of her groom.

"You look beautiful," Hans whispered in her ear.

"Beautiful?" She whispered back.

"More dazzling than stars in an unburdened sky," he murmured.

"That's better."

Hans laughed softly.

The minister was speaking, "Brothers, sisters, and new friends. We are gathered here today to witness the joining of this man, Governor Hans Stephen Agler–"

Aly and Hans rolled their eyes and tuned him out as he went through Hans' various titles, most of them beginning with "hero of." Memories flew between them silently through their eyes.

"–and Alyonna Marian Standing in holy matrimony. The bride and groom have prepared their own vows. They will exchange them now."

"Alyonna," Hans said, "I have loved you for the better part of my life. Literally, they've been the best years of my life." Aly giggled, "Whenever I wanted to quit, on the battlefield or in life, whenever I wanted to roll over and just let it be the end, the thought of you kept me going. I am you, and you are me. Saying I'd love you for the rest of my life doesn't cover it. I have loved you my entire life, and still will even when it has ended."

Alyonna physically restrained herself from kissing him. She'd expected something like that, but actually hearing Hans say it was a different thing altogether. Her heart raced and she almost forgot her own vows.

"Hans," she paused trying to remember. Hans grinned encouragingly, "I don't deserve you," she whispered conspiratorially, only loud enough for him to hear. She was trying desperately to remember what she'd planned to say.

"Nor I you," he whispered back, "If we were entitled to each other, it wouldn't be a gift would it? It wouldn't be love."

Aly giggled so hard she had to brace herself on Hans' chest. The crowd cheered encouragement. Strong hands found her waist and she looked up into Hans' warm brown eyes, "Screw it," she whispered.

Then out loud with a sly smile on her lips and her Kansas accent coming through strong, "I love you, you big four thousand eight hundred ounce meatbound manchild. Regardless of age or health or distance, I'm your girl, and that's that. Don't ever doubt it."

"I won't," Hans whispered.

"You'll never forget?"

"Never again," he moved in for the kiss.

"No more old goat talk?"

"Not even an honorable mention."

The preacher barely had time to declare them man and wife and tell them to kiss, before the tension between them pulled them together magnetically. Their lips found each others'. Hans lifted Aly easily from the ground and spun her around.

The clay auditorium rang with applause, clicks, and whistles of both human and kobold origin.

—----------------------------------------------------------------

At the reception Alyonna pulled Saldarix aside. The bemused kobold elder was busy rejecting the advances of a clearly very drunk human man, and seemed grateful for the opportunity to extract himself from the situation.

"The clicking and whistling as I was walking up the isle, what were they saying?" Alyonna asked when they'd stepped away from the crowd.

Saldarix gave the throaty wheezing sound, Aly had learned he did to express a laugh, "They were rating you."

"Rating me!?" Alyonna wasn't sure whether to be flattered or insulted.

"It's a compliment," Saldarix said.

"That depends on the rating," Alyonna shot back, but there was a smile on her lips.

"Keep in mind," Saldarix continued, "That the average lifespan of the kobold commons is seven hundred years. They have seen many human women throughout their lives, even if it was only to watch them from the shadows of our subterranean caves while the humans explored them or from the shadow of a canopy at night high in the mountains."

"So what was the rating?" Alyonna was genuinely curious now.

"Only an 11.5 for Alyonna Agler," Saldarix replied wiping an eyelid over one eye and not the other.

Alyonna figured it was a wink, but it just didn't hold the same charm for her.

"11.5 out of 10? That's actually very charming."

"Twenty," Saldarix laughed.

"Huff," Aly turned away, "Slightly better than average? That's it? Y'all can leave the party now."

Saldarix cocked an eye at her, and Aly realized he was about to take her seriously.

"That was a joke, Saldarix."

"Ah," the lizard man replied, "It'ss alwayss hard to tell with humanss...well, human women anyway. The men alwayss sseem to laugh uproarioussly before anyone elsse can, which makess it eassy."

Aly giggled at that.

"And it'ss actually a huge compliment. You're the firsst human woman in hisstory to break tier two, which iz exclussively resserved for other koboldss."