Innocence

~Chapter Forty-Eight~

"Thanks for the dinner... It was great."

He smiled at me lovingly and I just smiled back. I had managed to get through with his questioning earlier while using my powers. But I still felt kind of weird being with him like this. After what I experienced with Angel, I didn't know how I felt about anything or anyone.

Today I almost get caught. I had told myself I would be back before dawn, but I came back before sunset. For the main reason that Angel insisted in having me stay with him in that abandoned building, telling me stories about the place and about how he once came across the angel of death himself. We talked about many other things and well, time flew by. I admit, I enjoyed being with him. After being with him I felt extremely happy and agile; I was energized, enough to want to run around the forest before going back home. Yet, once I got home to deal with all the problems I had to deal with, my energy went back to zero and I felt drained. Still... I managed. Just for Ken's sake.

He had tried to get me to be with him. He'd kiss me and held me and all, but it just didn't felt the same way. He tried taking my shirt off to take a look at his mark, but I told him I felt cold. He insisted that he would keep me warm, but I just forced him out of me. I didn't want to do this to him, but it just didn't felt right... It just didn't.

"I'm happy that you enjoyed it." He said and kissed my cheek.

We stood on the step of my door for a while, awkwardly, and I fidgeted with my shirt. I suppose I could ask for him to come inside, but I really didn't felt like it. I just wanted to go back to my room and sleep... Sleep forever.

"So.... I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked and I raised my eyebrows. Tomorrow? What for?

"Um, sure..." I said awkwardly and he smiled at me.

"I want to take you somewhere..." He said and caressed my hair. His arm brushed against my left shoulder and I winced. It burned when he touched it. It was where Angel had bit me. "Are you okay?" He asked and tried uncovering that part.

I had my leather jacket, so he couldn't see the mark on the shoulder. But he could see the bite marks. I told him I was going to drink blood, not that I was going to give anyone my blood. And we all know where that led us...

"I'm fine. Just.. kind of..." I gulped and rubbed my shoulder. It was still kind of healing, so it hurt a bit. "Sore. Yeah, I was running out in the woods for a while and feel my muscles sore.. need a good nights rest."

He bought it without me even trying and nodded.

"Well, okay then." He said and kissed my lips. "I'll see you tomorrow. I love you.."

I gave him a sheepish smile and just kissed him. He kissed back and I pulled back. His lips made mine tingle, but it wasn't the same. It would never be the same. Ever...

He leaned back in and possessed my mouth again. I just placed my hands on his chest and let him kiss me. He kissed me hungrily and I kissed him back. He needed me, though I didn't need him as much. Still, when he placed his hand on my right shoulder, I shivered and left out small moan. I was still his... I was still supposed to be his mate. But why is it that I can't seem to feel the bond again? After Angel biting me, nothing was the same. Not even the color of my eyes. They were golden, like two golden rings. And I admit it's beautiful, but when Ken bit me, they had sparks of purple in them. Now, the purple is nowhere to be seen. Not even the red of my vampiric genes. It was all golden...

Ken let go of me and looked into my eyes. His pupils were dilated and he was breathless. All I could see in him was his desire for me. Love? Perhaps. But he wanted me now. His wolf did as well. But mine... I don't know what's wrong with my wolf. She's tired, exhausted. She just wants to rest. And not to forget her... She was restless; satisfied, but restless. Huh...