I remember

CHAPTER FORTY

Sunday 30th July 2023

Sienna POV

'Lando!'

I sit bolt upright, sweat coating my skin. My sleep has been disturbed by both dreams and nightmares in equal measure this week. Today it was the turn of the nightmare, I always wake up just as Lando hits the barrier, making me relive the moment over and over again, as if it wasn't hard enough the first time. I sigh and flop back onto the mattress, trying to bring my breathing back under control and scrunching my eyes to get rid of the image of his wrecked car.

It's been a week since the accident and my daily routine now consists of arriving at the hospital around 8pm, long after visiting hours are over, and I leave around 6am, a good two hours before visiting hours start. No risk of running into anyone, no-one to tell me I shouldn't be there. As a result my days are all back to front and added to the nightmares, I'm exhausted.

I say hello to the nurses as I walk to Lando's room. They have been so nice to me, always bringing me tea, which I'm sure has nothing to do with the nightly box of doughnuts I drop off at the nurse's station.

The hospital is so quiet at this time of night, the sound of my shoes clicking on the floor echoes along the corridor.

'Hey Lan' I whisper as I kiss his forehead. He looks so peaceful, and angelic, like he's having the world's best dream. At least I hope he is. I miss seeing his baby blue eyes that were so often full of light and mischief, and the lips that were nearly always curled into his trademark smile are currently grey and chapped. I bring out the lip balm and gently brush it over his lips. He'll be thankful for that if he wakes up, when he wakes up, I correct myself. 

I sit down in the chair by the bed and get comfortable. Lando could never just sit in a chair. He always had to have his legs crossed or dangled over the arm. I wasn't even sure how he got into some of the positions I often found him sat in. 

'Now where did we get to?' I ask him, wishing more than anything that he'd answer, but just silence greets me. I've been reading Harry Potter to him every night. Lando doesn't read books, but HP is a book that whenever he saw me with it, he'd ask me to read it out loud. That and the Crossfire series but we always seemed to get distracted and it took forever for us to finish it. I smile at the memory.

'Watcha reading' Lando asks as he leaps into bed beside me. I often read to him, especially at night time. I think it soothes his mind which normally runs at a trillion miles an hour, always thinking of the next thing.

'It's a book called Bared To You, think 50 Shades but better written'

'OOOO you're reading girl porn!' he chuckles.

I roll my eyes at him.

'Read it to me' he demands. He's like a toddler sometimes.

'I'm not sure you can handle it.' I say looking him in the eyes. It's not the first time I've read this book, I know what's coming. I think I'm going to enjoy his reaction. 'But if you insist.'

'I do, insist.'

'I distantly registered my purse hitting the floor; then my hands were in his hair. I pulled on the silky strands, using them to direct his mouth over mine. He growled, deepening the kiss, stroking my tongue with lush slides of his own.' I felt Lando shift beside me in the bed and I smirked as I continued.

'I was pressed full-body against him, achingly aware of every hot, hard inch of him. I kissed him back as if I could eat him alive. My skin was damp and too sensitive, my breasts heavy and tender. My clit throbbed for attention, pounding along with my raging heartbeat.'

When I lift my eyes from the page to glance at him he's staring at me with a look I'd never seen before and it takes my breath away so much that I stutter.

He used to always look at me like I was his most prized possession with a flash of cheekiness. That night it had been a look of pure unadulterated lust. My cheeks flush red just thinking about it.

Getting back to the book in my hand, I flick the pages to where I finished last night. I'm currently half way through reading the Prisoner of Azkaban and I'm about to get to his favourite section of the book. As I read, I stop every now and then to look at him, just in case I miss anything, but he remains still, like a statue, the only movement is his chest rising and falling, reassuring me that he's still here. I hope he's in there fighting to get back to us, fighting to get back to me.

My eyes start to hurt so I decide to take a break from reading and flick the TV on instead. Whoever was here last had it set to MTV. Makes sense, Lando loves music. He's always listening to something. The dulcet tones of Chris Martin comes through the speakers in the room.

'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars
I'm gonna give you my heart
'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars
'Cause you light up the path

I don't care, go on and tear me apart
I don't care if you do, ooh-ooh, ooh
'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars
I think I saw you

'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars
I wanna die in your arms, oh, oh-oh
'Cause you get lighter the more it gets dark
I'm gonna give you my heart, oh

I don't care, go on and tear me apart
I don't care if you do, ooh-ooh, ooh
'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars
I think I see you
I think I see you

'Cause you're a sky, you're a sky full of stars
Such a heavenly view
You're such a heavenly view
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh

As the last notes of the song play, I realise my cheeks are wet and I wipe away my tears with the sleeve of the hoodie I'm wearing, one of Lando's actually that Danny gave me. It still smells of him.

As i breathe in the scent, I feel a wave of tiredness come over me. I'll just rest my eyes for a minute before starting the book again.