I remember

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Sunday 18th December 2022

Lando POV

The apartment is eerily quiet as I open the door, the memories of the last time I was here fresh in my mind, and I squeeze my eyes closed. I take a deep breath and walk into the living room. I don't really know what I expected to see but it all looks like it normally would, except Sienna isn't here, Danny said she'd gone to her parents. There was always a warmth to the place but that's now missing and the place feels cold. I make my way to our bedroom, forcing myself to confront the elephant in the room, so to speak, my footsteps getting heavier and heavier the closer I get to the door. The bed is bare, stripped of all the sheets, and for that I'm grateful. My eyes survey the room, noticing all the things that are missing; her clothes from the wardrobe, her perfume bottles and make up from her dressing table, her book reader from the nightstand. The room suddenly feels empty without her belongings. My eyes catch sight of a note on the table, I'd recognise Sienna's handwriting anywhere. There's only two words written on it; I'm sorry. The words are smudged, and the page is littered with wet splodges, I assume she'd been crying when she wrote it. I stagger back to sit on the edge of the bed, turning the note over in my hands. After what she'd done, is that all she had to say? My own tears add to the splotches left by hers.

I suddenly don't want to be here. I grab my phone and book the earliest flight home that I can, luckily there's one leaving tonight. I chuck my stuff in my bag, take one last look at what used to be our home, and close the door behind me.

Sienna POV

I thank the taxi driver and watch him pull away before walking up to my old front door. I'd had to stay in a hotel close to Nice airport last night, not able to get a flight out until this morning.

I pause as I put my hand on the handle, how on earth was I going to explain what I did to my parents?

'Sienna? Is that you?' I hear my mum shout from the kitchen. I'm not sure if it's the sound of her voice or the sense of feeling at home but I immediately burst into tears, sitting down on the stairs, not trusting my legs to hold me up any longer.

'Oh honey, what's the matter? What happened? We weren't expecting you and Lando until next week. Is he with you?' she looks expectantly at the door like he'll walk through it any minute.

'Mum... I've made a terrible mistake. I've ruined everything. I don't think he'll ever forgive me' I fiddle with the ring on my left hand, it suddenly feels very heavy on my finger, reflecting the weight of what I'd done.

'Oh sweetie, I'm sure that's not true. He loves you so much, and I'm sure whatever it is, it wasn't so bad that it can't be fixed.' She puts her arm around me, pulling me to her.

'Oh mum' I sob 'it is that bad.... I did the worst possible thing I could have done.'

'Oh Sienna, you didn't? You cheated on him? I thought we'd raised you better than that.' She couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice. 'How long have you been having an affair? And why didn't you tell me? I thought we had the sort of relationship where you could always be honest with me.'

'I haven't been having an affair. It was a stupid, drunken mistake that I don't even remember'

'Oh sweetheart, that doesn't sound like you' she looks at me, puzzled.

'I think I may have lost him mum, he won't return my calls, or my texts.'

Lando POV

S: Lando

S: Please talk to me

S: Please let me explain

S: I love you

S: Lando?

I stare at the screen, reading her messages, tears blurring my vision. What is there to explain? She slept with someone else, my new teammate of all people. I could half understand if it had been Danny but Oscar? She barely even knows him.

I walk through the airport as quickly as possible, keeping my head down, hoody pulled as low over my face as it'll go. The last thing I need is for any press to see me with red, bloodshot eyes and start asking questions. I can just imagine those headlines now.

I calm down slightly once I'm in the car that's been left for me, thanks to my call to Charlotte last night. Driving always has that effect on me, it's where I feel most at home, I suppose. I now have nearly 3 hours in the car to sort myself out before I get home, before I have to face my mum.

I've managed to do a pretty good job of composing myself by the time I pull into the driveway of my parent's house, taking a deep breath as I turn off the engine. I briefly close my eyes, my head resting on the seat. I see the front door open and my mum hurries out, 'Lando? What are you doing here? We weren't expecting you until next week, is Sienna not with you?'

My mouth is suddenly dry and I can't get any words out so I just shake my head as I climb out of the car.

I manage to make it all the way inside and sit down at the kitchen island before I break down. I feel my mum put one arm around me, the other rubbing my back in soothing circles like she used to do when I was a kid.

'Oh boeleke, what's happened?'

'She cheated on me, Mum' I manage to croak out. 'And it hurts, it hurts so much'

'Oh my boy, my poor boy'

Wednesday 4th January 2023

Sienna POV

'David, she's cried herself to sleep for over two weeks now. She's not sleeping, she's not eating, she doesn't want to go out. I'm worried about her. What are we going to do? Have you managed to speak to Lando?'

'He called me to request a new manager. He said he obviously can't continue with Sienna, in the circumstances. I said I'd take over dealing with his business interests but if he wanted someone at races with him, I'd send James.'

'So, what's the plan for Sienna?'

'We've just signed Oli Bearman, I'll reassign Sienna to him, it shouldn't be too hard for her to avoid Lando, the F2 guys tend to keep themselves to themselves. I love our daughter, Sue, more than anything in the world but she needs to take responsibility for what she did, she can't avoid life forever, she needs to get back to work. I need her back in time for the first race'

They were whispering but I could hear their conversation from my spot at the top of the stairs. So my dad had spoken to Lando. I tiptoe back into my room. My heart aches for him, we've never gone this long without seeing or speaking to each other, but my dad is right I need to take responsibility for what I did and get back to my life. I gather up all of the clothes that I've borrowed from Lando over the years, the most recent hoodie still has his smell all over it and I can't help the tears that escape from my eyes. I put it all in a box and shove it at the bottom of my wardrobe out of sight. I can't stay holed up here forever, avoiding everyone, although the thought of being in the paddock right now makes me anxious to the pit of my stomach. Maybe I could start small, I'll start with the girls and work my way up from there.