I remember

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Wednesday 24th May 2023

Sienna POV

The weekend of the Monaco grand prix is normally something I look forward to. Not because the race is exciting, it isn't (we all know it's about qualifying on a Saturday), but because Monaco really comes alive when the F1 circus is in town. It's full to the brim with celebrities and non-celebrities all trying to show off with their glad rags and their fancy cars although good luck driving anywhere this weekend as all the roads are shut. I normally like finding a little café and people watching, reporting back to Lando about all the outrageous outfits I'd seen. However, as I walk through town today, I can't help but feel that it's been tainted. I've not been back here since I fled to my parents, but I loved living here and now I'd rather be anywhere else.

I'd clearly not been looking where I was heading as I find myself outside my old apartment complex, the one I used to share with Lando. I still have the key. I think I've held onto it in the hope that one day he'll forgive me, but there have been no indications of that being the case, he won't even let me try and explain. We've managed to avoid each other pretty well since that night in Australia nearly 2 months ago. I don't deserve his forgiveness anyway. I walk up to the front entrance and see Frank in his usual place behind the desk.

'Miss Davis. I haven't seen you in a long time. How have you been?'

'Hi Frank. I've been ok, thank you' I'm sure he didn't actually want a rundown of the last 6 months. 'Urm, can I leave something with you for Mr Norris?'

He looks puzzled 'yes of course, although he's not been here in months'.

He hasn't? Where has he been staying?

Lando POV

I'm not sure why I'm here, I've not ventured this close in months, not even coming here to visit Max, but as I stand outside our old apartment block, the memories of when we moved in rush back. We were so happy that day. All the guys had turned up to help move our stuff from the van. Sienna hadn't let me hire a removal crew, muttering something about it being a rite of passage so we'd driven a van all the way from the UK. Luckily, we hadn't had too much stuff, something which was sorted out by a trip to Ikea later on. We'd all sat on the floor at the end of the day eating pizza out of the boxes and making do with paper plates and cups and later we'd gone to bed with just a mattress on the floor and a sheet at the window.

As I open the front door, I'm haunted by images of the few months of happiness we had here. I came back whenever I could between races and in the time I was away Sienna had made the flat a home. With art work, candles, plants and whatever else she could find. We used to spend hours on the couch just chilling out and watching Netflix or I'd be on the sim and she'd be sat in a chair in the corner curled up with a book, she would read them so fast, I don't know how she does it.

I take a deep breath whilst looking around, I close my eyes and I can almost smell her perfume, I run my thumb over my bottom lip remembering how she tasted. God I miss her. I miss talking to her everyday, I miss coming home to her, I miss running my hands down her body. Why did she have to ruin everything?

I wander through the apartment making sure everything is ok. I have someone coming in to clean and keep an eye on it, whilst I decide what to do with it. I'm not sure I can ever live here again, there's too many memories, good and bad. Maybe it's time I rented it out like my parents have been suggesting but I'm not sure I can have people living here. This was meant to be our home, our first home together. This is where I was going to carry her over the threshold, where we were going to start a family. I sigh, maybe I'll leave that decision for another day.

'Oh, Mr Norris' Frank catches me on my way out. 'Miss Davis stopped by earlier to leave you this' he handed over a small envelope.

'She did? Did she say anything?'

'Nothing I'm afraid, Mr Norris. It's nice to see you. Good luck this weekend, I'm rooting for you.'

'Thank you Frank'

I turn the envelope over in my hands. There's nothing on it, not my name, nothing. Just a blank envelope. I open it and turn it upside down. A key falls out and I instantly recognise it as her key to the apartment.

Saturday 27th May 2023

Sienna POV

Avoiding Lando at one of the smallest paddocks on the calendar is no mean feat. Danny had invited me to spend the weekend in the Red Bull garage with him and so far I've barely set a foot outside of it. That has its own downside though as Max glares at me every time he walks past me. Luckily he's now out on track for qualifying so I can get a break from his piercing eyes. Thankfully Kelly is still talking to me, in fact all the girls are still talking to me. Our friendship isn't the same as it once was but at least they've not cut me off like the boys have.

'Red flag, red flag. Come back to the garage Max'

I look up at the screens to see Sergio's car planted at St. Devote. I look at Danny and roll my eyes. 'If he keeps that up, you'll be in his seat' I whisper.

Lando POV

I storm through the garage, qualy had been terrible and it was all my fault, although Charles impeding me certainly hadn't helped. The car had been capable of much more than the P10 I was starting in tomorrow. But on the bright side at least I'd qualified higher than Oscar.

I fling my gloves across my drivers room and flop down on the couch. I must have had my eyes closed for barely 30 seconds before there was a knock at the door.

'Lando, I'm sorry, I know you hate this bit but you've got the media pen to do' Sophie said poking her head round the door.

I groan in frustration. 'Sorry Sophie, I know you're only doing your job but I'm not sure how many more stupid questions I can take.'

'I know, you're just going to have to get through them as quick as possible. Zak's tried his hardest to get you out of as many as possible but the FIA can't be any more lenient with you. It sets a precedent.'

'Yeah, I get that. I do appreciate everything you and Zak have done for me this year. I know it can't be easy trying to keep me and Oscar apart whilst at the same time trying to appear to the outside world like we're great friends and teammates.' It was true, the situation must be making their lives really, really, difficult but at least I only had to pretend to like my teammate for short periods of time. Following any interaction I did have with him, the boys were really good and had been making sure there was a punch bag at my disposal whenever I needed it. It didn't have his face on it just in case it was discovered but I was good at using my imagination.

Sunday 28th May 2023

Lando POV

I swipe my pass as I enter the paddock. My smiley face looks back at me. That guy was from before, when I had her love, the guy I am now, after, is barely recognisable.

I drop my stuff in my drivers room and head down to grab a drink. As I sit by the window looking up at the sky outside which is grey and overcast, I see Carlos walking towards our building.

'You look deep in thought, my little friend' he says as he sits down beside me.

I put Sienna's key on the table in front of us. 'Sienna left this with Frank'

'Ah, I see. Makes it seem more final, no?' I can see the sympathy in his eyes.

I nod my head, worried that if I try to speak, my voice will give away how I feel. I look at him and I see that he understands, without me saying a thing.

His eyes suddenly go wide and as I follow his gaze I see her. I know she's been at the Red Bull garage this weekend, invited by Daniel I assume. I'm surprised with how small the paddock is here that this is the first time I'm seeing her. I'm thankful for the one way glass as she walks past us. I hold my breath as she pauses, glances to her right and seems to stare right at me before moving on. 

A/N Sorry this has taken me so long. I really struggled with this chapter and I'm still not really happy with it so it may change later on. Next chapter is Silverstone!