Guarded Soul (The Brats #2)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Mine

Joshua Tan:

Hi. I just want to let you know the video has been deleted. Don't be so stressed about it.

"What's up? Tang ina, kaka part ways lang natin kanina, miss mo 'ko agad? This gay," bungad ni Kuya sa kaibigan paglabas namin ng sasakyan.

I probably looked so exhausted and stressed. Sa sobrang kaba at takot ko sa pwedeng mangyari, dumiretso ako sa loob, hindi na nilingon si Rejo.

I don't even know why he's here! Para saan? Para sabihin na kay Kuya? I know he's hurting, pero ako rin naman. This is hard for me, too!

I cried in my room. Complicated things are not really for the weak. Not for me. Pero ilalaban ko 'to. Because no matter how difficult this thing is, the explicit happiness it pays me is worth it. Sobra.

I was scared. I was waiting for Kuya Mooze's outburst. Na papasok siya sa kwarto ko at magagalit, pero wala. Patagal nang patagal, kumakalma ako. Anong ginawa kung gano'n ni Rejo rito?

I checked my phone. Walang message galing kay Rejo. I looked in my window, naroon pa rin ang sasakyan n'ya. I sighed and sat on my bed again.

What's happening?

Lalabas na sana ako pero bumukas na ang pinto ng kwarto ko. I swallowed hard when Rejo stepped in, holding a tray with my dinner. Bumuntong-hininga ako at nakagat ang ibabang labi.

I watched him put the tray on my side table. He pulled my study chair from my table and positioned it before me. Naupo siya roon. Ang mga mata ay may kakaibang ekspresyon. Napalunok na naman ako.

"I'm sorry," pangunguna ko.

He stared back. Minsan ay umiiwas na ako ng tingin dahil hindi makayanan ang titig niya. Nakasandal siya sa swivel ko, nakapatong ang siko sa armrest at nilalaro ang ibabang labi gamit ang mga daliri.

"I don't know what to do with you. You really... really hurt me with that show," mariin niyang sabi.

"Can you let me explain?" mahinahon kong sabi habang pinaglalaruan ko ang mga daliri ko. Sometimes I look at them, trying to find strength or comfort.

"Let me hear your explanation, then..."

I sighed. "It's not what you think—"

"In my eyes, Hiraya. Look into my eyes. What now? 'Di mo na ako matingnan dahil sa Chinese na 'yon?" puno ng hinanakit na aniya.

I understand him, tho. Nasaktan ko siya. Nasaktan siya nang sobra sa mga pictures at usap-usapan na kumalat. He doesn't know anything. His feelings are valid.

I looked into his eyes.

"Remember when... we kissed at his party? Sa kitchen nina Joshua—"

"Don't even mention his name while you look at me, Hiraya. I can't."

I sighed again, this time deeper.

"He saw it. He checked the CCTV when he was looking for something. He confronted me about it. Your friends know you're still in a relationship—"

"They're just confused about my status. It's Marinelle's family who's pushing we're still together. And my... Mom, too."

Parang 'di siya problemado na napanood 'yon ni Joshua Tan.

"Kaya n'ya ako kinompronta dahil akala niya ginagawa mo akong third party..." tuloy ko. "He just clarified something. I told him you two aren't in a relationship anymore. Matagal na. I told him the truth, but not everything."