A Goddess in the Demon World || Sesshomaru

Chapter 29

I need to speak with Athanasia.

The words ring in my head as a mocking chuckle leaves me. I know I shouldn't be blaming him for what I feel towards him, but his eyes tell me he knows which is making me feel small and annoyed by his ignorance. I release a hesitant exhale and say, "You know, right!" He narrows his eyes so I elaborate, "You know that I bear feelings for you."

"You shouldn't," he answers without giving himself a second to think which pisses me off even more.

So he knew as I suspected.

"What do you mean by I shouldn't? How do you expect me to control my feelings for you when you keep giving me excuses to fall for you? Everything you did up till this moment are gestures of someone who cares for another," I pause and gather my thoughts while preparing myself to finally let go of those emotions I have been carrying for him for so many years.

I've had enough. I need to get rid of my delusions, but after I give him a piece of my mind.

"You found comfort in my room. You were the first to notice the change in the color of my eyes. You didn't push me away when I was having a panic attack after killing Ryukotsusei. You visit me at night, thinking I don't notice your presence. You didn't attack me when Athanasia was clearly going to harm you. Not to mention that you are the only one who doesn't need to question which persona I am. Sesshomaru, all these small gestures aren't made by someone who bears no feelings for another. The Sesshomaru I know won't simply ask me for Athanasia, but would rather-"

Suddenly, Sesshomaru dashes at me with a frown and holds me by the throat in midair. I try to get out of his grasp while choking, but he doesn't budge.

What in the world is he trying to prove?

"Now, do I seem more like the Sesshomaru you know?" He asks and fiercely looks straight into my eyes. I'm not sure if that expression he is currently holding is anger.

He averts his gaze and lets go of me. I fall onto the floor and rub my neck, noticing him glance at it while muttering, "Not a single mark."

Again with that remark.

"Are you disappointed?" I ask, and he looks at me, so I proceed, "You might have been right about your claws scratching my neck, and maybe the tingly feeling I had later was because of the poison. Maybe I should go to the twin coven sisters and wait for my main body to wake up, or I should just ask them to put me to slumber like the other Gods."

I angrily stomp the ground and pass by Sesshomaru while whispering, "I'm sick of having high expectations."

I decide to take a walk through the forest, knowing how dangerous it is especially since it's night now, but who cares! I'm unkillable. Or maybe if I get attacked, Athanasia will finally have an excuse to show up.

I sigh in frustration and halt to crouch down. 

"Damn it," I curse under my breath after realizing what I said to Sesshomaru minutes ago.

I loudly breathe out and get a glimpse of a huge tree, so I get closer to it and decide to lie under it while gazing at its dancing branches. The moon looks beautiful behind those countless leaves. I smile and close my eyes to enjoy the sounds and scents.

Five minutes later, I open my eyes and huff in annoyance then say, "How long do you intend on waiting for me to get back to the palace?"  

"I'm not waiting for you," Sesshomaru answers from behind the tree I've been lying under.

This guy's brain isn't wired correctly. I think he didn't understand a word I said.

"Yes, sure. You are waiting for Athanasia who won't come out. How about you try to kill me to trigger waking her up?" I mockingly say, and he decides to remain silent.