COMING OF AGE | Nishimura Riki

016 | a selfish decision

nishimura riki
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Am I the bad person for not reaching out to Mai? The conversation with His Majesty yesterday has my brain and heart starting a war inside me. My brain wants me to leave Mai behind while my heart was me to keep her even closer than I already do.

Separating me and Mai from each other would be ideal for this situation. I shouldn't have encountered her that day or the day after, I wouldn't be in this situation if I had chosen to listen to my brain instead of my heart.

They say you should follow your heart, but why are you always caught up in a messy situation whenever you are following your heart?

I last spoke with Mai a few days ago on our activity day. Since that day has my heart been craving Mai. At school, I kept stopping myself from walking over to Jishin whenever I got the time for it. I would text Mai if I could but I don't even know if she owns a phone.

"Crown Prince Riki?" Someone said.

I looked up and my eyes met a group of girls. They all stood and stared at me while giggling out of shyness.

"I liked the presentation you held in English class. Your English is really good" One of them complimented me.

"Thank you, I liked your presentation too" I replied.

"I didn't hold a presentation" She respond.

Well, that was embarrassing.

"Anyway, I forgot to thank you for that night" She added, making me even more confused.

"I'm sorry, what are you talking about?" I asked.

The smile on the girl's face disappeared, causing the feeling of disappointment to be written all over her face. She walked away along with her friends who started to tease her as they left the cafeteria.

"What is going on with you and Ayane?" Kenji asked after they left.

"Who is Ayane?" I asked back.

"Another girl who is pretending to be the girl you were seen with at your welcome party" Nicholas answered.

I let out a sigh as I looked out of the window again. It's not possible to look at Jishin from the cafeteria due to the forest blocking the view. Even if I can't see it, I still know it's there. The same thing goes with Mai, I can't see her but I know she is there, on the other side of the forest.

What if Mai is doing the same thing as me right now? If our life was a movie, this scene would be a split screen, showing me and Mai doing the same thing at the same time but at two different places.

While Nicholas, Kenji, and Hinata prepared to leave the cafeteria for the basketball court, I had another idea. I excused myself by telling them I have something to do first. While the rest began walking towards the basketball court, I headed towards the art classroom. I still think of Kenji whenever I come across the art classroom.

I walked inside and grabbed the things I needed, a piece of paper and a pencil. I wrote down a short message on the paper before folding it into a paper plane. Since I can't reach out to her in a modern way, I have to do it in an old-school way.

Once everything was done, I left the art classroom and began walking toward Jishin. As I reached the forest, the uniform color of Jishin stood out among the trees. This reminds me of the second time I met Mai.

I caught Mai along with another girl. The girl left as I arrived at the spot. Once the girl was far away, I thew the paper plane as I called Mai's name. After that, I hide behind a tree to peak t her reaction.

Mai picked up the paper plane from the ground and opened it. A wide smile appeared on her face as she read the message. I could stare at Mai forever like she is a beautiful painting in an art gallery.

As I turned around to return to Kinmyaku, I accidentally stepped on a stick. The sound caused Mai to notice me, still wearing that beautiful and sweet smile of hers.

"So, you want to meet me tonight?" Mai asked as she walked towards me.

I nodded. I noticed how Mai's smile grew wider the closer we got. This makes my heart race an extra mile.

"It seems like you already have great plans for tonight" Mai said.

"Hopefully. You are the one who's going to judge it" I replied with a chuckle.

"Is that so? Could you give a hint of our activity?" Mai asked.

"It's not going to be a legal activity" I answered with a smirk.

"What have I done to you? Have I accidentally made you a delinquent?" Mai responded as she laughed.

"You have not accidentally turned me into a delinquent, you have just brought out a new side of me" I said.

"Same thing, different name" Mai replied.

I might be shooting myself in the foot by continuing to hang out with Mai like this, I am fully aware of the consequences and karma. Even if my heart keeps choosing the messy option, leading to another mess in the chaos, I will still choose Mai.

I'm not sure whether it's a selfish decision to keep Mai around me because she is the main source of my happiness. I have gained a new purpose to get out of bed every morning and I don't want to lose it. It sounds a bit dramatic and excessive, but it is my true and honest feelings.

I will keep listening to the angel on my shoulder by keep choosing my heart.