Girlfriend...
Those words were familiar yet so far away from my reality. I cannot begin to fathom the idea of being his girlfriend again, yet somehow it seems comforting. Right even. Too right that I could not even say no. Not right now. Not to Lee.
He was my first everything all in one, and I'm not sure if I can just let him walk away from me. Not again.
His hands removed themselves from my thigh as if he were afraid of my answer. As if he were thinking of everything that has happened between us. Every kiss. Every love making session. Every slap to the face.
Taking a deep breath to ready myself, I placed my hand upon his cheek. The soft stubbles on his face became erect with my touch.
"I'm scared." It was merely a whisper, but he heard it nonetheless. He knew the many factors of my fear that I was referring to. All too well; I could see it flashing through his eyes. His head fell into my hand with even more pressure. To ease his pain I placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and rested my forehead on his. My heart thundering all the while.
The moment seemed to drag on in pieces that I wish were together once more. A puzzle that kept me captivated for years and all the while it is at my fingertips right now. Begging me to reopen everything I had fought so hard to close. Is it worth it? I - I cannot say for sure, all I do know is here and now.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to Renee'. It would be nice to come home to somebody." he laughed a small vibrant laugh as if to play off his pain from my muted mouth. The colors danced upon his face from the bar room lights.
"How about we leave here?" I offered as I took a sip of his beer. I needed all the courage I could get; especially with how shaky my legs were becoming. He followed me swiftly until we reached his car. Strong hands pinned me to the metal making my breath flutter out of my lungs. My core became drenched as his hot breath swirled around my neck. The smell of his cologne made my head swarm with incoherent thoughts. Finally, his lips pressed against mine softly before I gave him permission for his tongue to enter my mouth. Sensual feelings erected in me now more than they have ever before. As I bit his bottom lip, Lee let out a stifled moan.
"I need you. I always have." He muttered in between kisses. His hands tugged at my clothes until my shirt was half way up. "I never meant to hurt you."
"Get'm boy!" a whistled slur escaped a staggering man, pulling me out of the trance I was captivated in.
"Maybe we should go home?"I nodded my head; feeling a bit dizzy from our session. We got in the car, silence filling the air. His hands lightly held the steering wheel; he seemed to be in such a euphoria.
"Oh I bet you even fucked the guy at the bar too!" his words slurred out of his mouth; It was obvious that he was intoxicated. The guy from the bar? The one that whistled at us?
"That was weeks ago Lee! I don't even know him!" I tried defending myself, but it was no use. His hand buzzed the side of my face causing me to feel numb with all the madness running through me. I am not having this. Not this time!
I reached my leg up to kick him where it would hurt him he most, but his hands tightly gripped my ankle twisting me around. I could feel the bruise already burning a hole through my bones. Pinning me to the wall, Lee spread my legs with a death grip.
"Stop it Lee! Stop it right now-" my voice shattered as soon as his warm hand slapped my bare bottom. Sickness aroused in my throat.
"Or what Renee'? Seriously? What happened to you?" he was referring to the message I had received on my phone only an hour ago - from Jake. "I don't see you for a couple years, and you fuck the whole town?" I stayed silent. My throat tight with anger. I did not need to answer to him. It wasn't like we were together, and I slept around. He acts as if I was his one and onl-
"Answer me. I asked you a question." His right hand pulled my hair back exposing my throat while his other was firmly on my lower back. The pain was all numbed by this point. Still, I stayed silent. What am I supposed to say? "Renee', I swear if you don't open your fucking mouth right now, so help me God!" Being the smart ass I am, I opened my mouth; my eyes throwing daggers into his own.
My head hit the wall, and I could feel warm drops of blood pouring down my forehead.
"Stop your shit Lee!" Another hit to the wall.
"'Renee', I really miss you. Wish we can get together and actually use the whipped cream this time.'" Lee read back the message; he had it down to memory by now. There was no denying what I had done.
"I didn't do anything wrong! Just please, stop." His fingers release my hair only to fall to the back of my neck.
"You didn't do anything? YOU had sex with someone else!"
"And you haven't?" I muttered, my eyelids falling.
Spank. Spank. Spank.
"I wasn't going to message him back. You are ruining everything for us right now." tears escaped my eyes as realization began to sink in - he hasn't changed. Seems to me he won't ever change. My love for him was too strong. Maybe he is right; maybe I did do wrong. I shouldn't have had sex with Jake. My body gave out on itself, leaving Lee to hold me up. After carrying me to the bed, he pulled my pajama pants back on.
You were right. I'm so sorry. I never meant to do this to us. I kept repeating this over and over, without any realization on whether or not he could hear it as well. I assumed he did because he came right beside me trailing his fingers on my skin. Caressing every bruise, every cut, ever tear. And just like that everything was okay again.
Authors Note: I am sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have been awfully busy with school work. Hope you enjoyed. Leave your vote and a comment after the chapter.
xoxo
Love you all!
