Through sickness and in health

65

Monday

"100!" I take my hands away from my eyes and move into the kitchen. I search the pantry, the cabinets under the counter then the living room. No sight of the three kids I'm babysitting.

Just as I make it into the garden my phone starts ringing in my back pocket.
"Hello?" I answer, I didn't even look to see who was calling as I keep searching around the garden for the kids.
"Lexie" I'm surprised to hear Melissa's voice. She never calls me, I have her phone number in case of emergencies.

"It's over Lexie" she sighs
"Excuse me?" Instantly I start thinking that she's breaking up with me for Jason. But then it clicks.
"Oh"
"He had a reaction early this morning" she says quietly
"This was only the first one, the doctor said there was a few he could do" tears prick my eyes as I think of what Jason must be feeling right now.
"I'm sorry I have to go sweetheart" she quickly says after a minute of silence. She hangs up leaving me practically gaping.

"The kids" I whisper to myself.
I practically force my feet to move as I continue searching for the kids who are hiding around the house.

*~*

"About damn time. You gotta go talk some sense into him" I'm welcomed by will's voice the second I walk down the hallway to Jason's room.
"Melissa called me earlier. She said it's over and that about it. What's going on?" I ask

Will opens his mouth to speak but shuts it. His head turns towards the door and I hear what he was hearing. Coughing. Soothing voices. More coughing. With one look at Will I'm walking in the door.

Jason's sat in the chair I usually sit in. His bed sheets crumpled and the blinds shut.

"Hey" I plaster on a smile and walk over to him.
"Hey mom I need a minute" Jason says. Melissa stands and walks out with a small smile, and a comforting squeeze to Jason's shoulder.

"I heard. Melissa called me" I say quickly but carefully, to save Jason having to tell me. Jason opens his mouth to talk but cuts himself off when he starts violently coughing. I quickly grab him the water from the table but when I turn back to him he's staring at his hand.

"Babe" I whisper. He looks up at me, his eyes aren't full of surprise or fear.
"It's okay" he says hoarsely. Blood is on his lips and his hand that he was holding over his mouth is splattered with blood.
"Jason"
"The clinical trial is over. I started coughing up blood this morning, there's no other trials I can do. My immune system is shot" he explains
"It's over" I whisper. But it's when he nods that I finally let the tears fall. And I don't stop them.

They fall like a waterfall and when he opens his arms I don't hesitate to sit in his lap and hug him. I cling onto him like it's the last time I'll ever see him and he doesn't say a word. He just runs his fingers through my hair and rubs my back and kisses my cheek every now and then.

*~*

For the next three days I don't leave Jason's side for a moment and neither does max.

Jason came home on Tuesday and has barely left his bed since. Will, Kai and cooper have been sleeping over. Swapping who sleeps over every night and sleeps in the guest room.

A nurse comes over everyday to check on Jason. He's been getting worse a lot quicker without being on any type of drug. But he has been jacked up on pain medication for the last day.

Jason has been experiencing pain in his limbs. His limbs feel stiff and hurt. We went to the doctors yesterday. Dr Harrison confirmed it was an affect of the drug Jason was on and put him on some strong pain medicine. Which has had Jason in bed all day yesterday. Bringing us to here.

"How are we doing today?" Melissa smiles walking into Jason's room. In her hands are two cups which she places on the bedside table.
"I brought coffee for you and water for Jason" Melissa smiles sadly at me.
"Thank you. Do we know if the pain will get any better?" I ask looking at Jason then back to Melissa.
"Dr Harrison said it's unlikely" she sighs shaking her head.
"So he lies here in bed all day in pain or on so many drugs, to the extent he can hardly feel his own body?" I whisper. These past few days I've cried so much I don't know how I have any fluid in my body. Melissa doesn't say anything as she squeezes my shoulder and walks back out.

Jason doesn't say anything when I offer him his cup of water. He stares at the wall, looking at the usual spot and doesn't move. I haven't seen jason smile since before he went into the hospital.