Through sickness and in health

53

"Hey babe" I smile, Jack is already on his feet when Jason returns with a nurse. Jason shoots me the fakest smile ever as he catches a glance at jack standing. I can tell from across the room how tense Jason already is, but I can also see that his walls are falling. Melissa had to step outside because she started crying because of how worried she was.

He looks exhausted.

I go over to the hospital bed and sit next to him on the bed.
"Try and close your eyes for a bit. Dr harrison won't be long" The nurse says and walks out after Jason just nods and we're just left to wait for his results now.
"How much sleep did you get last night?" I whisper. He sighs looking up at the ceiling.
"I'm just uh...gonna step outside and check on your mom" Jack says awkwardly. Jason ignores him closing his eyes for a moment.
"The truth" I add. His eyes meet mine and I can truly see how exhausted he is. Physically and mentally.
"About 2 hours. I haven't been sleeping much at all recently. It's hard to stay asleep when I finally get to sleep and it's hard to fall asleep. Not when your mind is wondering" he sighs
"What's on your mind, my love?" I whisper. He leans his head on my chest and on instinct my hand goes to his hair. I pull the blanket over him, feeling him relax a little bit.

"Everything" he shrugs
"I feel like a terrible person for shutting Jack out. I see him with his kids and I can't help but wonder who he is now. Jessica is close to him, my niece is close to him. He's having trouble at home and he's just worried. But then..." he sighs stopping himself when he trails off. I watch how his eyes wonder over to Jack and Melissa standing outside the room talking. Melissa is laughing at something he said. Then he pulls her into his arms when she starts to cry again.
"He's been so good to her recently" Jason sighs

"It pisses me off" he adds after a hesitant moment. I can't help the laugh that escapes me.
"I was wondering where the stubborn Jason went"
"But your on the right track. Jason your dad-"
"Jack" he corrects
"...jack, hasn't been around for a while. But he's back now, he might not have been around and he might've given you a fucking hard ass time but he wants to make up for that...maybe you should give him a chance. Take him out to dinner sometime" I shrug. But when I look down at Jason, his jaw is clenched and he's even more tense than before.

"He didn't give me shit growing up other than a hard time...you know I originally started playing baseball to piss jack off?" He says looking at me. I'm stunned so I just shake my head. How did I never know this?
"Yeah, he wanted me to play soccer because that's the sport he grew up playing. But then I started playing baseball and I was actually pretty good at it. He used to argue with my mom about it. Saying I'd be better at soccer and she should pull me out of baseball and put me into soccer" he explains.
"But Tyler plays baseball" I'm so confused right now. Jason shrugs sitting up.

"Doesn't surprise me. He named his other son Jayden and his nickname is jay. I'm not surprised that son of a bitch replaced me with his new fucking child. Start a new family and forget about his son that disappointed him. He's probably just back to clear his sins, that mother-"
"Whilst I'm aware of your colourful vocabulary there is no need for it" I cut him off
"Fucker" he finishes. I roll my eyes but can't help the laugh that escapes me.

But then the door opens, jack and melissa walk in. Dr Harrison following behind them.
"Alright Jason. Sorry I took so long I wanted to get a second opinion on your scan" he says. He walks over to the computer in the corner of the room and starts logging in.
"How are we feeling?" Dr Harrison asks looking around the room.
"It looks like my son is about to bounce of the wall with nerves any second now, if you wouldn't mind please just tell us what you needed a second opinion on" jack cuts in. I turn to look over at jack, then to Jason. He's not looking at jack but I can tell he's definitely about to jump off the walls with anxiety.

"All right then" dr Harrison sighs turning back to his computer. I feel Jason fiddling with his hands next to me so I reach over and link our hands.
"So I compared your scan after surgery. And your scan from today...now there has been a slight growth since your last mri. It's not something to be too worried about because like I said it is only slight. But there has been a growth which isn't ideal" he explains. Melissa fights to keep her tears contained in the corner of the room, I can see in the corner of my eye that jack reaches over and links his hand with hers.
"What now?" Jack asks
"Well the first thing we can do is up your chemotherapy medication. We can up the dose to attack it harder" dr Harrison says

"Is that all?" Jack asks. That must catch Jason's attention because he looks over at Jack practically gaping at him.
"You try having fucking position being put into your body every month then ask is that it" Jason snaps at jack.
"Jason's right. It is going to be a lot more aggressive meaning you most definitely can't play on the chemo medication. Don't get your hopes down now, Jason your doing very well with this. This is just a slight hiccup"

"What if the increased chemo doesn't work?" Jason mumbles looking up. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he already knows the answer.
"Jason we aren't even close to that yet don't worry about it" dr Harrison smiles softly at Jason. These past couple of months jason has started to like dr Harrison. He looked after his son when he had an emergency patient when jason came in for a checkup and apparently they bonded. By the look on dr Harrison's face he can tell what Jason's thinking and given jasons past we all know it's not the best mindset for him to have.

"Your next chemo treatment will be on the higher dose. You should experience the same symptoms; nausea, headaches, dizziness, lack of sleep. Don't feel concerned if it's to a higher extent. If you have any worries call or come in. I want you back here in a month for your next checkup and I want an mri every month so we can keep an eye on the growth" dr Harrison says. Jason nods hopping off the bed and walking out quickly.
"Thank you" Melissa smiles at him as she passes him. I say thank you aswell when I walk out, Jack following behind me. We walk out to the car and jason still isn't there.

"Where's jason gone?" Jack asks looking around. I shrug looking around but then I spot a figure and I know it's jason immediately. He's hunched over near the bushes, his body shaking. Hes definitely throwing up.
"Poor thing" Melissa mumbles spotting him too.
"I've got it" I smile softly at Melissa. She nods wiping the tear that escaped.

When I get over to jason he's no longer throwing up. But he leans his back against the wall and slides down it slowly.
"Are you okay my love? What's wrong? Shall I get the-"
"No" he shakes his head cutting me off
"I'm not feeling sick. I'm fine. I uh-" he cuts himself off with a sigh closing his eyes.
"Take a breath. Breath with me" I whisper joining hands with him. He nods looking at me, I make sure to make my breathing heavier so he can follow and he calms down.
"I just didn't expect this" he sighs

"I thought I was prepared. I was prepared for this...but it all just feels so real now and I can't-"he shakes his head again, squinting his eyes shut.
"Let's go back to the car. We can go back home and cuddle with max and watch outerbanks. You look exhausted my love" I say, he smiles weakly at me and accepts my hand, letting me help him up. When we get back to the car neither of us say a word as we get int he back seat I just give Melissa a quick nod to let her know that he's okay.

Jack gets in his car and leaves, without a word. But I can tell he's got a lot on his mind. But I'm not worried about him right now.