Through sickness and in health

59

February 26th

"Jason you should go it's your moms birthday" I sigh climbing up next to him on the bed. Max doesn't hesitate to jump up and plunge himself right on top of Jason making him sit up with a groan.
"Get the fuck off me" Jason grumbles pushing max off him. Max moves over to me, lying his head on my lap.
"Your daddy's mean" I chuckle scratching behind his ears.
"Or your just a big softie" Jason mumbles standing up from the bed. It's 2pm and he's been in bed all day.
"Where are you going?" I ask sitting up when max leaps off the bed and runs to Jason's side. He left out a huff kicking max softly with his foot.
"To shower. I don't wanna be the asshole kid that doesn't show up for my moms birthday dinner" he says walking out of his closet holding a new set of clean clothes.
"Your coming though right?" He shouts when he walks into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking max out.
"I think Jessica is gonna need someone to talk to" I laugh

*~*

"Lexie!" Jessica squeals running over to me with open arms. I laugh, almost stumbling backwards when she falls into my arms.
"I missed you" she mumbles in my shoulder
"It hasn't even been that long" I chuckle
"When your living with a toddler and a husband a few months feels a lot longer" she says pulling away, she plants her hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye when she talks to me.
"Where is my favourite girl?" I turn around seeing jason standing on the doorstep now wearing jeans but missing a shirt.

Ivy walks up the driveway with her arms open and a big smile on her face.
"JJ!" Jason smiles walking over to her and scooping her up. He starts smothering her in kisses and tickling her.
"I thought I was your favourite girl" I laugh walking up behind them. I kiss Ivy on the forehead when she smiles at me. He looks at Ivy then to me then back at Ivy.
"Second favourite girl" he says looking at Ivy. She watches up both with her big brown doe eyes.

"Shirt" Jessica says as she throws a black t shirt over Jason's shoulder. He shoots her a smile as she rolls her eyes and mumbles something incoherent to herself.
"Where's mom?" Jason asks still holding Ivy on his hip.
"She said she's going to meet us there" Jessica explains
"With jack" Jason nods catching onto what she's saying. We all stand on the driveway in silence as Jason puts Ivy down and walks to my car without a word. Jessica shoots me an apologetic smile as she picks Ivy up and walks to the car with her. I walk around to my car and get in, Jason already in the passenger seat and now wearing the shirt Jessica gave him. The first few minutes are filled with silence as I follow behind Luke's car.

"Do you have sunglasses?" He mumbles after minutes of silence.
"Check the glove box" he finds my sunglasses from the glovebox and puts them on even though it's not even that sunny out right now. He takes in a ragged breath which makes me concerned. I keep looking at him out of the corner of my eye but he just keeps his head leaning against his seat so I can't see if he's got his eyes closed or not because of the sunglasses.

"Do you feel okay?" I ask, breaking the silence.
"I hate how she's just letting him back into our lives when he hurt her" he answers but we both know that wasn't what I was asking.
"Jay I understand your not a fan-"
"Not a fan?" Jason scoffs
"I understand you don't like him...but that doesn't mean everyone has to hate him. I know it's probably overwhelming having him back in your life, and now with three new kids and living in your house but-"
"But he's an asshole and doesn't deserve to be in my life" he answers cutting me off.

"Did you get your mom anything?" I ask, deciding to change the subject because I know he's just going to argue more.
"I gave her presents last night when she got home from work late. Roses, her favourite chocolates and earrings" he answers turning to look out the window.
"That's nice"
"I was gonna get her a mother of the year award but I didn't want to give her something she didn't deserve" he says plainly
"Jason don't talk about your mom like that!" I snap at him. Where is all of this coming from? Jason is never this rude.
"Just saying. She loves her fucking work more than she does me" he shrugs
"It's just her way of...coping. She's a single mom, her love language is materialistic items"
"Why are you defending her?"
"She's your mom Jason. I could never talk about my mom the way your talking about yours right now" I sigh
"Yeah but there's a difference between your parents and mine lex"
"And what's that?"
"Yours love you, their always at home and they make time for you. One of mine left when I was 11 and replaced me and the other leaves me 1600 bucks and leaves" he explains
"They love you Jason-"
"My mom does. My dad is an asshole, I don't want his love" Jason cuts me off
"Give him a chance" I whisper

"Who's side are you on! Mine or his?" He argues
"I'm not picking sides Jason! I'm just saying, I don't believe a parent could ever not live their child! You give birth to them for a reason, your job is to love them unconditionally"
"Whatever, let's just get this over with" he mumbles. I watch in the corner of my eye as he sits looking out the window, to anyone it would look like Jason is fine. Maybe he thinks he is. But I know Jason, sometimes I know him better than he knows himself. I notice the ragged breaths he's taking in, the way he fiddles with his fingers so slightly in his lap but also the way he's so still. He's never that still. Unless he's deep in thought, which usually means he's overthinking or worrying about something. And right now I think he has every right to be overthinking and feeling overwhelmed.

Luckily we were only a few minutes away from the restaurant. When I pull into the parking lot of the restaurant I park a few spots over from Jessica. She's parked next to two cars, those cars being Melissa's and another one I recognise. Jacks, his car has been parked in Jason's driveway sometimes when I came over for the past month. I can see a woman standing with Jessica talking. I turn to look at Jason who's still looking out the window, looking even more tense than before.

"Jason" I sigh
"Talk to me"
"What? I'm fine" his act is a bunch of bullshit and we both know it. Jason's lucky he's wearing my sunglasses because his eyes are the only thing hiding the detonate truth.
"Babe" I reach over and touch his shoulder but he just shrugs me off.
"Jason. I know you, sometimes better than you know yourself. You need to talk to me if you want some help or some sort of support" he sighs and takes off the sunglasses. His eyes look so heavy and the bags under his eyes are a lot more prominent in the sun.
"I've never wanted anything more then go to home right now. Other than the cure for cancer. I'm tired, I'm not even on chemo" he chuckles weakly.
"And I just want to go home and lie in bed with my girlfriend" he says, but then he reaches for the door and opens it.

"Jason if you want to go home we can go home. We can just make up an excuse" I say a bit louder so he can hear me.
"We're here now let's get this over with" he says before shutting the door. His whole attitude is changed, and I'm left with this upset feeling that he has to put on this mask to hide his emotions from the people he should never have to hide from.