Through sickness and in health

12

Thursday

"Maybe we should wait until tomorrow, give you another day" I sigh
"Babe we're already here. I'm fine I haven't thrown up since last night. What's the point coming in on a Friday. You might as well just come in on a Monday" jay laughs
"Mondays good" I smile
"Babe I've been off for three days I need to get back to practice" Jason frowns
"Don't push yourself" I sigh
"nothing has changed since the last time I was at school, I've been out sick for a few days. I'm better"
"Everything changed your whole world just changed Jason. You were diagnosed with a tumour pressing on your brain which makes you have headaches and pass out" I say whispering the whole brain tumour part.
"Yeah, I got it" he rolls his eyes
"I should go see the guys, I'll catch you later" Jay says kissing my cheek. I watch him run over to the group of jacks that are standing in their usual area against the school as they wait for everyone to arrive.

It hadn't hit me until now that Jason hasn't accepted the fact he has a brain tumour as much as I thought he had. He's almost completely in denial. If he doesn't take it easy this could end up being worse than it already is.

*~*

"How Jason feeling I saw he's back today" Abbie whispers, we're sitting in art class as I stare at my blank canvas. I'm usually good at drawing and painting what I want to but it's not coming to me today. My body is here by my head is in a whole different place.
"Well I mean for what he can be feeling" Abbie adds after a few seconds. I told the girls, after Jason said it was okay. Actually he said I need someone to talk to this about, he's been really understanding.
"He's in denial" I mumble picking up my paintbrush.
"What do you mean?" She asks
"I don't know I'm just not sure he's taken in the full extent of this yet. He's going straight back to practice, whenever I try to ask him about it he just changes the subject. It's hard to be annoyed or angry at him because since he was diagnosed he's validated my feelings so much. He knows that this may be affecting him but he's also acknowledging that I have feelings about this too"

"Of course you do your the concerned girlfriend" Katie says. I hadn't realised until now that she had moved from her seat over to where me and Abbie sit in the corner and started listening to out conversation.
"I'm just worried about him that's all. We have no idea when the surgery is, he's hoping that the surgery isn't for two weeks since the next game is a week on Friday. But I can't lie to you and say I'm hoping for the same thing"
"Did the doctor say anything about baseball being bad?" Abbie asks
"Not exactly. He did say that if Jason got injured playing baseball then it could put him at risk especially if he hits his head. He said if he feels dizzy or ill during practice he should take a time out or leave early"

"But we all know Jason won't do that" Katie finishes. I sigh and nod my head. I love Jason with my whole heart, but he can be stubborn as hell sometimes even when he knows he's not helping himself.

*~*

"So how's Jason?" Dad asks
"No dad I don't think he's coming over for dinner tonight" I laugh shaking my head. Every Thursday Jason usually comes over for dinner after practice and therapy. It was an accident at first. He came over after practice to hand me back my book I left in his car then when my mom offered for him to stay for dinner he accepted. My parents insisted that he started coming over at least every Thursday for dinner since he has no one at home to cook for him so he's stuck eating pre made meals or cooking for himself.
"Alright I understand we're all worried about Jason and his brain tumour but let's not worry about that for tonight. Melissa is in town with her son let's be grateful for that. I know she feels guilty she can't be around more" mom says. I know she's right but I can tell she felt a little bit hesitant that Melissa is looking after Jason the way she should judging by the extra plate sat next to me in Jason's regular spot.

*~*

I'm in the bathroom washing my face when my phone rings.
"Hey"
"Where's your face" Jason pouts, I laugh setting it up against my mirror. He starts laughing, if he were here I'd throw a pillow at him and kiss that stupid smirk I know is on his face right off.
"Where's your face?" I shoot back. I watch as he puts his phone on his lap. He's got headphones on with one ear piece pulled off so he can hear me and the game.
"Gaming per usual" I laugh
"Sorry I missed dinner, I didn't get home until twenty minutes ago" Jason says, I watch as he focuses on his game and check the time in the corner of my phone.

"How come you only just got home it's 9pm"
"After therapy I went for a run to clear my head, I ended up watching the sunset. The whole time I couldn't help thinking how you'd love to watch it. I know how much you love sunsets" he laughs
"But you worked out at practice" I mumble
"Yeah I needed to clear my head. I had a whole ass talk with my therapist about my recent diagnosis and the surgery since my mom called to tell her" he sighs
"Your mom dropped you off?" I ask
"No I had to drive, she left while I was at practice I guess" he shrugs
"What do you mean she left?" I already know the answer, hell I've been waiting for this. Her son is diagnosed with a brain tumour and she can't even wait around to look after him.

"She left to go back to work. You know her, always keeping her head in work when she's worried about something"
"So have you ate dinner yet?" I ask
"I'm back on my meds, they kinda take my appetite away" Jason sighs. Why is there so much he hasn't told me? His mom left to go back to work, he's back on his meds.
"I thought you were doing okay off of your meds"
"Yeah I am" he answers hesitantly.
"Can I come over?" I ask after a beat. I'm already packing a small bag to stay over the night and for the morning before I even ask. I know there's something Jason isn't telling me and I can tell he's not saying everything. And I hate the fact that he feels like he can't tell me.

"Sure" he answers. I'm already walking downstairs with my bag slung over my shoulder, my phone in one hand and my other reaching for the car keys on the side, when he answers.

"Alright I'll be over soon" i smile, he nods before I hang up.
"Hey mom I'm staying over at jays tonight if that's okay?" I say walking into the kitchen. I grab the plate my mom wrapped in the fridge.
"She left?" She asks with a sigh.
"She left" I repeat nodding my head. This is what Melissa does. When things get rough she buries her head in work or she loses her head In wind. I'm thankful it's work and not wine because the last thing her son needs is his mom to be back onto her drinking to cope era. But I feel terrible for jay. He's the one who needs his mom the most right now and she bailed, yet again.