Through sickness and in health

45

Saturday

"When was the last time you ate?" I ask Jason as he lies his head on my chest like always. I feel him tense, he doesn't answer or do anything but shake his head softly.
"Babe" I whisper looking down at him.
"I-I can't eat right now" he sighs, his voice is croaky and scratchy which makes me concerned even more. I ignore him as he tries to get my hand away and feel his forehead.
"Jason your burning up" I say moving to sit up carefully. He sighs sitting up and leaning his head against the headboard now.
"I'm just hot, I've been hot and cold all day it's fine" he shrugs grabbing the remote.
"Babe no more outer banks. This is serious. What if you caught something?" I'm already moving off the bed to go and get Jessica before he can say anything.

"Babe I'm fine, please" he sighs, he goes to stand up but as soon as he's on his feet he's sitting again. Worry floods through me as I rush over to him and kneel in front of him.
"Jason, Talk to me. you have to communicate" I say taking his hand and feeling his forehead again with my other.
"I just feel nauseous" he shakes his head closing his eyes.
"You probably picked up a bug babe you have to be careful. I told you this. Let's tell your mom and Jessica, get you checked out" I sigh as he nods. I walk into the bathroom grabbing a thermometer and a cold compress to put on his forehead again.
"It's not a big deal lex" he says quietly
"Lie back" he rolls his eyes but does what I ask and lies back in bed. I stick the thermometer in his mouth and place the compress on his forehead, kissing him.

"I love you and I care about you" I whisper sitting beside him.
"Your smothering me and treating me like I'm delicate" he grumbles, crossing his arms.
"Because I care about you" I repeat. I take the thermometer out of his mouth and look at it.
"102 I'm telling your mom and Jessica. jay this is too high" I hadn't thought about the intensity of Jason getting sick, I was too worried about it happening to worry about the issue when it does happen. Especially because Jason is on chemo it makes him even more vulnerable to sickness and his immune system isn't strong enough to fight it off.

"Babe" Jason sighs sitting up to reach for me. But I'm already half way out of his bedroom, worry flooding through my whole body as I overthink everything.
"He hasn't even taken his dose of chemo yet today" I mumble to myself.

*~*

"Oh come on! Your all being so dramatic about this!" Jason argues.
"Car" Jessica demands shaking her head at him.
Jason rolls his eyes and slowly walks over to the car, the next minute he's being picked up and carried to the car.
"What the fuck!" Jason shouts trying to get out of the persons grip. I laugh when Luke finally puts him down and Jason hits him on the head.
"Da-da!" Ivy smiles stumbling over to Luke with her arms out.
"Where's mom?" Jason asks, I exchange a look with Jessica seeing her face emotionless as she stands still without an answer for Jason.
"You've got to be shitting me" Jason mumbles to himself.
"Luke's here because mom isn't coming right? That's why she sent Luke to come? And why it took us all day to leave to go even when Jess was yelling at us to go" Jason says looking at Jessica and Luke.
"Mom went back to the office" Jessica nods slowly, it's not unusual for Melissa to disappear but it is always hard on Jason.
"Fuck this is my fault. She's gonna bury her head in work all day then she's gonna be exhausted" jason says walking back to the house.

I notice how he's swaying on his feet a little. He makes it halfway up the driveway when he stumbles, Luke is able to steady him but Jason swats his arms away.
"Jason" Jessica says quietly walking over to him.
"I'm fine" Jason swallows
"Just lightheaded all of a sudden" he waves his hand when Luke goes to steady him again but Jessica is already by his side.

"Jay?" Jessica asks putting her hands on his shoulder to steady him.
"Fine" Jason whispers shaking his head slowly. She grabs his waist and pulls him into her, hugging him tightly. Even from where I'm standing I can see he's not steady on his feet judging by the way he's putting half of his weight on her. I watch Jessica put her hand on Jason's forehead and he closes his eyes taking a deep breath. She whispers something in his ear making him sigh but nod hesitantly.

"Come on, your like a fucking toaster" she mumbles pulling away and leading him to the car.

*~*

When we got to the hospital doctor Harrison was with us within 10 minutes luckily. He got Jason in the room and did a few simple tests on him.
"So you have the flu" doctor Harrison says. I sigh in relief knowing it's not something too serious. Even though it's only the flu it still isn't a good thing, Jason's immune system is insanely compromised because of his cancer especially now that he is on chemo still.
"So what do we do?" Jessica asks putting a hand on Jason's shoulder. Surprisingly Jason doesn't even seemed bothered, he looks like he'd rather be anywhere than here right now but he's unbothered by this.

"Depending on how bad Jason's symptoms are we can stop the chemo but there is a risk this can affect the mass and undo the possible progress the chemo has made. Or we can continue with the chemo, put Jason on antibiotics and wait until it's better. There is a risk that this flu could lead to pneumonia because of how bad Jason's immune system is right now" the dr explains.
"What would you recommend?" Luke asks
"That's down to Jason. Only you know how bad this is, and it's you that is having to deal with this so the option is Jason's" the dr says looking at Jason now.
"If we stop the chemo, there is a possibility no progress is made or that if there if progress it might not even be affected. I'd recommend something if I thought it was a definite decision but either one of them have buts and ifs...it's Jason's choice" the dr says again

"Jay? Maybe we should stop the chemo. Your already sick as hell with the chemo, battling this and the chemo is just going to drag you down" Jessica says leaning down to look at him. Jason's sat on the bed this whole time staying quiet with his head down like he normally does at the hospital.
"Continue with the chemo" Jason says looking at the doctor.
"I'll get you antibiotics. I want you back here in two days, unless he spikes a fever again or there is anything else your concerned about" the doctor says before walking out.
"Jason maybe you shouldn't-"
"It's my choice. I'm sorry I ruined your thanksgiving weekend" Jason says standing up and walking out.

I hear Jessica sigh loudly as she leans against the wall.
"Does he really feel that much like a burden?" Jessica asks looking at me. I shrug my shoulders knowing we both know the answer.
"You know Jason, he feels weak and he doesn't like having help or having people worry about him. He's...not used to having the attention and worry on him, he's just handling it all" I sigh
"I'll go and talk to him" i say walking to go and find him.

"He's a 17 year old kid. He doesn't need this. God how did this happen? He was fine! He was healthy and happy. Then all of a sudden he's falling into a depression episode, having panic attacks and now fucking cancer" I hear Jessica say to Luke from inside the room.

She's right. Jason was fine, or at least everyone thought he was. Or maybe he was a really good actor and even I didn't see it.