I Don't Smoke (bsdxmha)

Dire deceits

"Y'know, Dazai, sometimes I think life wouldn't be worth living if I wasn't saving others," Midoriya says to him in the quiet of the morning, looking down at the palm of his hand contemplatively. Dazai is only awake ridiculously early in order to have a smoke, but Midoriya finds him before he can make his way back to the lodge.

"Maybe it's not worth it at all." Dazai pauses, shaking his head. "I need some coffee. Goodbye, Midoriya."

The third day of training camp begins as normally as one would expect it to. They all eat breakfast, run laps, and sweat until they can't anymore. The grass is still wondrously green and the sun beats down on every person. The trees attempt to provide slivers of shade, but the blithering summer heat prevails.

The issue with the area is that it's off-grid, and therefore out of the data range. If only the League of Villains had the decency to scout out the area properly before their grand invasion! Dazai would've easily stolen their data for himself. Instead, he's had to dedicate his hard-earned break time to surveying the area himself. Escape routes, nearest landmarks, etc. He would've set up a wifi router too, but in the time span and limited space available, it's not conceivable.

If only the League of Villains prepared more, really. Slacking off provides fruitless considering Aizawa is watching him like a hawk. Dazai finds himself wondering - will he be blamed for the attack? It's not like he's the right mole in this instance, and he doubts Chuuya would be the one revealing anything about Dazai's schooling life to those crazed murderers. Dear old Chibi's brain is certainly not that small!

"I don't want to go in, I'm scared!" Dazai cries, forlorn, swatting his hands in the air and grasping onto whoever's closest. He claws his fingers into the unfortunate arm of Bakugou, who efficiently shakes him off with a grumble.

God knows what will happen when he's caught in the MIDDLE of an attack. What if this Dabi fellow burns down the forest? Cooked Dazai is not on the menu tonight.

The rest of the class clearly does not share the sentiment with him, by the variety of annoyed gazes levelled at him. Indeed, nobody values safety as much as he does, and that says something.

"Come on Dazai, don't tell me you're afraid of the dark!" Ashido goads.

"Nonsense! I am simply worried - oh, Dazai, whatever do you mean? - well, for one, it is awfully dark out here. What about the bugs? What if I trip!? My poor, scraped knee... I'm already feeling the pain!"

"I am sure the teachers have considered the safety of all the students for this exercise! The UA teaching standards are impeccably high and explicitly state on page 329 of the UA handbook that, and I quote, 'All teaching staff are required to put the safety of any and all students of the UA institution first and foremost.' -" Aizawa's blank stare provides little favour towards the supposed responsibility for students' safety. "- and as such, it would be unfair to assume that Aizawa and Vlad-sensei have not met UA's teaching standards," Iida verbosely stresses, paired with many exaggerated hand movements and an increasingly scrunched up expression.

A quaint silence cuts through the previous ranting. Dazai tries to look around inconspicuously, but stares pound into his head.

"Wow, Iida!" Uraraka exclaims and breaks the tense period, "You really know your stuff."

Nodding approvingly at Uraraka, his mouth begins to open with a tell-tale sign of another rant.

"Well." Dazai claps his hands together, interrupting the start of a boring monologue. "I now know that UA has a handbook."

"Oh, yeah, I'm adding that to my reading list," Kaminari snickers. Kirishima elbows him harshly, digging into the body of the other. Kaminari takes it badly, judging by the way he almost snaps in half. Just like a twig.